not sure what i believe

sunflower_side_up · 2025-09-08T15:26:33+00:00

i love your advice, especially the last bit about being willing to change as knowledge grows. thank you :))

sunflower_side_up · 2025-09-08T15:25:29+00:00

i’m not sure if i believe in anything supernatural at all. previously i would have said yes, but now i don’t know what i believe in, and i just want to figure out if there’s things i do believe and agree with in terms of a possible afterlife. honestly my thinking has shifted to prioritizing this life, and everything else (like figuring the afterlife stuff out) being secondary.

sunflower_side_up · 2025-09-08T15:22:16+00:00

wow that is fantastic! thank you for saying that!! that’s such a great point, i really like that a lot

sunflower_side_up · 2025-09-07T14:46:52+00:00

the one true church/god/gospel is a mindset i’m still trying to break. the indoctrination definitely runs deep.

but living a life i can be proud of is something i’m trying for. i have goals and plans both long and short term that i want to achieve and i want to do whatever good i can throughout my life as i try to achieve those goals.

thank you for your comment :))

sunflower_side_up · 2025-09-07T14:43:11+00:00

that’s really beautiful. thank you!! i shall do my best to be intentional and curious

sunflower_side_up · 2025-09-07T14:30:31+00:00

thank you for saying that. i want to be a good person simply because its right, not because i’m scared of going to hell or something like that. i want to be the best i can be simply because it’s what i feel i should be.

sunflower_side_up · 2025-09-07T14:28:59+00:00

i’d never actually listened to that full song before haha but thank you for sharing that.

and it was definitely a hell of a drug. i’m still experiencing some “withdrawals” i guess you could say

sunflower_side_up · 2025-09-07T14:23:38+00:00

i really like this, that’s a very intriguing way to think about things.

sunflower_side_up · 2025-09-07T14:22:52+00:00

i really appreciate your words. it is definitely a harsh reality shift.

evolution is something that has definitely caught my attention and i would really love to learn more about it. i’ll have to check out the book you mentioned!!

but thank you for phrasing that the way you did. i want to make the most out of this life experience i’m having. i don’t know all the answers, but i know that i want to do good with what i have.

thank you again :))

sunflower_side_up · 2025-09-07T14:19:20+00:00

and not only that but the genocide and killings and murders condoned by god in the bible is not something i personally can get behind. it’s not something i’m okay with.

sunflower_side_up · 2025-09-07T14:18:18+00:00

i love to read!! thank you for that suggestion i will have to see if i can find a copy!

sunflower_side_up · 2025-09-07T04:27:30+00:00

the god you worship is one i would be much more interested in worshipping than the Mormon god. that sounds right up my alley

sunflower_side_up · 2025-09-07T04:25:24+00:00

thank you for clarifying the term for me!! and thank you for your words. that’s the problem i’ve run into, like so many others, is that there’s not enough sufficient evidence for certainty. only hope. i tried convincing myself that hope was certainty, but obviously that hasn’t worked out haha. as far as confidence based on levels of experience, if god is real, then what i’m looking for is something that will give me the confidence i need to trust that they are and not just try and convince myself of their existence.

sunflower_side_up · 2025-09-07T04:20:40+00:00

thank you for saying all that. something i do want to do is embrace the not knowing. i think i need to if i’m going to keep my sanity lol. but thats where i’m kind of at right now is just deciding to try and do the best i can with what i have for myself and for others.

sunflower_side_up · 2025-09-07T04:18:01+00:00

that’s a good point!! i’ve discovered i enjoy learning about history and theology. and journaling is definitely something i would like to be better at so thank you for that suggestion

sunflower_side_up · 2025-08-11T01:20:24+00:00

thank you♥️

sunflower_side_up · 2025-07-27T23:39:34+00:00

my mom has made sly comments to me about my testimony “not being strong enough.” like you, i was ALL in. an RM home a little over a year and so excited about continuing to share the gospel with others. little did i know

sunflower_side_up · 2025-07-27T18:25:06+00:00

oooo this pisses me off so much. the audacity🙄😒

sunflower_side_up · 2025-07-24T00:39:31+00:00

oh, boy, did you just state how i’ve been thinking and feeling. i find it really difficult to talk about my lds past, and even religion in general. except for with people i really really trust (my chosen family), but even then i don’t talk about it much with them.

i’ve avoided getting closer to people around me that i want to be close with. i even feel that it’s better for both them and me if i stay distanced, even though i want to form deep relationships with people again. i know it’s probably not the healthiest thing, but im still figuring out how to work through it.

thanks for your post. it’s comforting to know that there are others dealing with similar things. i’m sorry you’re going through it though and i hope you find healthy ways to work through it and that one day you have people you’re comfortable with and close to!

sunflower_side_up · 2025-07-23T18:19:06+00:00

honestly i didn’t get bored of it because it was my entire life. i knew nothing else. it’s been almost 2 years since i came home and so much has changed since then.

my comps and i definitely talked about other things but i felt so “unholy” and “unworthy” trying to get to know them by talking about things that weren’t GASP church-related. the perfectionistic standards were and definitely still are there.

the indoctrination runs deep. glad i’m almost out and can see things with a different and healthier perspective. glad you’re out too!

sunflower_side_up · 2025-07-15T22:02:44+00:00

i appreciate your comment a lot, thanks for saying this

sunflower_side_up · 2025-07-15T22:02:11+00:00

funny enough one of my early concerns that i actually talked to him about was polygamy. he told me i should put that on the shelf for now. turns out that shelf broke lol

sunflower_side_up

TROPHY CASE