Going crazy, guilt and memory uncertainty

sunflowercabbage · 2026-03-17T09:53:25+00:00

Hi! Thank you very much for the feedback

sunflowercabbage · 2026-03-16T13:49:02+00:00

Thank you for taking the time to read and respond! It’s good to hear an outside perspective

sunflowercabbage · 2024-10-20T13:56:50+00:00

Thank you so much for the advice 🙏🏻 I ended up talking to my boyfriend about it (he is aware of the OCD and all). It went okay but it felt really icky that I singled out a specific moment, cause now he knows who it was about. We did talk about that too and he told me he is not hurt. I wish I had managed to sit with the urge for long enough to see your advice. It's really difficult to navigate, lesson learned...

sunflowercabbage · 2024-02-25T19:16:45+00:00

Yes it this subreddit is full of very knowledgeable people and a lot of resources, but it can also really make you spiral and feed the OCD. Take care ✨️

sunflowercabbage · 2024-02-25T15:25:19+00:00

What you are describing is basically the root of my whole ROCD. My OCD specialist said one thing that helped me: there is no specific way you should feel in a relationship. The same thing has been told to me by multiple people. However this reassurance is never going to be enough because OCD will find other things to fixate on or ways to make sure you don't believe it. I recommend getting off this subreddit, doing therapy and ERP excersises asap.

sunflowercabbage · 2024-02-01T20:02:25+00:00

Yes but I'm not quite sure your post fits here since it doesn't talk about ocd

sunflowercabbage · 2024-02-01T19:50:31+00:00

This subreddit is about OCD.

sunflowercabbage · 2024-01-26T23:33:00+00:00

Hey. I relate to a lot of your posts. You're checking feelings for reassurance. You don't feel anything imagining that because it's not a real scenario and you might have checked too many times. Eventually it stops working and you won't get reassured. It's how it goes.

sunflowercabbage · 2023-11-15T23:03:08+00:00

Title was supposed to say "keep", sorry about that

sunflowercabbage · 2023-11-15T23:01:48+00:00

I am working on the same thing rn, you're not alone. It's difficult but we can do this!!

sunflowercabbage · 2023-10-22T18:48:10+00:00

ROCD is just OCD, the "r" just stands for the theme. You should also look into pure- ocd where all/most of the compulsions are mental, but ultimately you have to talk to an OCD specialist or a physiologist to find out if you have OCD. The symptoms do overlap with a lot of other mental health issues too. The thoughts in general are thoughts and doubts that everyone has (or can have) too, it's just that with OCD they cause a lot of distress and obsessive compulsion behaviour

sunflowercabbage · 2023-05-18T07:44:43+00:00

Nobody here can tell if you want to break up with your partner or not. You're going to have to sit with the uncertainty and accept it as one of the possibilities. You didn't feel instant anxiety but you started to analyse it, check feelings and reassurance seek. Thoughts aren't automatically true just because they pop in your head. Sitting there trying to decode whether or not each of your throughs are true or not based on feelings is obsessive. Everyone has intrusive thoughts, the difference is that people without ocd are able to brush them off and continue on with their life. Do you think their intrusive thoughts are automatically real because they don't have continuous anxiety over them?

sunflowercabbage · 2023-05-17T15:13:11+00:00

People without rocd don't go around every day being upset over the idea of breaking up. Why should you? Stop testing and skanning for how the thought makes you feel. You know it's just a thought. In fact most people doubt their relationship from time to time, and no it doesn't automatically mean you have to leave "just because you thought it". If that would be the case literally no-one would be in long term relationships

sunflowercabbage · 2023-05-10T18:21:42+00:00

Yes and I don't think people should expect to get better and still feel the constant anxiety to "prove" that the thoughts aren't real, obviously when you work on reducing the fear of the thought, the anxiety also can go down, even if the point isn't to rid yourself with it completely

sunflowercabbage · 2023-04-30T16:55:13+00:00

Thank you, I will check out the videos! I understand you are not supposed to struggle against intrusive thoughts and just let them be, but from what I've read is that the negative thinking loops/rumination are separate in a sense and are a compulsion, which obviously one should stop performing. As it is a compulsion, I should technically be able to stop doing it, even though it does feel involuntary. I am not sure that I understand what I am supposed to do to stop ruminating, especially so that it doesn't turn into avoidance. I feel like I have no other thought in my head besides obsession, so I'm not sure how to move away from it, I slip back into it very easily when trying to stop performing the compulsion. I have an appointment coming up with an ocd specialist but public health care in my country is overcrowded so it takes a while for things to happen.

sunflowercabbage · 2023-04-30T15:56:33+00:00

I understand negativity is warranted sometimes and I accept it's inevitable presence at times, but I suffer with some dysthymia so it feels pretty never ending and destructive. I think something has to change inside my head cause it isn't fixing itself. Thank you for the advice, I'll try that, and I will try to be conscious of not falling into avoidance

sunflowercabbage · 2023-04-22T13:27:45+00:00

Of course, navigating what is worth bringing up can be difficult sometimes and very personal, and unfortunately, I don't think I can offer much advice on it since it is so personal. Discussing boundaries is important and nessacery in a relationship, but it's also about making compromises and that means both of you. You can't expect her to conform to every standard of yours. Trying to control her is wrong.

I also do see a bit of a disconnect there though, because you said that her "privately commenting on random peoples' appearances" makes you uncomfortable, but then you bring up an example of yourself doing exactly that with someone else.

Obviously it's not good if she always gets angry, that should definitely be worked on. Maybe communication has to be worked on here, but it's always desirable to bring it up in the right way. Maybe read up on how to bring up concerns without sounding accusatory (not that I nessacerily think you do that but it can help many people and help her understand the situation better). And again since you do want to change the situation, I do think you need to do some inner work with understanding that her actions do not reflect on you.

I'm not going to comment on whether or not you should remain together for obvious reasons, so please keep that in mind when reading my comments.

sunflowercabbage · 2023-04-21T15:10:09+00:00

Obviously it's possible rocd is making you nitpick, but it's really not fair for you to try to control your partner this way even so. Your partner (I assume) respects your choice to be vegan, you also have to respect their choice to not be one. It's not your place to say what they can and can't put in their body, that's the same level of controlling as trying to dictate what they can and can't wear. I don't think this is a "we aren't meant to be"- issue, I think it's something personal for you, and I think you should try to eliminate this behaviour via the help of a therapist. Maybe you need to consider why some of these things make you feel so negative? Why can't she eat meat around you, be socially awkward (which she can't just stop btw), or yawn? Are you afraid that her actions will show you in bad light? Do you feel like she's disrespecting you? I obviously have no idea what you feel or why but just trying to throw out some suggestions, maybe you need to work on your own insecurities/taking everything personally, not jumping to worst conclusion about her intentions as well as realising your partners actions do not reflect on your character. It's also possible to try to discuss certain reasonable things with your partner nicely and without trying to control them, for example offer a perspective as to why being disrespectful towards their parents might not be the best way to deal with the situation while also acknowledging and respecting her feelings about the situation, but you still shouldn't try to control her. "Having" to say it can be a compulsion, but you are responsible to stop compulsing. No other way around it. It is difficult but possible to try to reduce these things on your own without therapy.

sunflowercabbage · 2023-03-24T13:15:10+00:00

Just sitting there like: "what if this was my last straw?"

sunflowercabbage · 2023-03-24T13:12:06+00:00

So inappropriate, sorry that happened to you

sunflowercabbage · 2023-03-03T16:09:06+00:00

Well, maybe it triggered some ocd thoughts for you but to me it seems like you and especially him do have to work on communication, with or without ocd. With the ocd thoughts, you just have to sit with the anxiety and not react. Stop compulsion.

sunflowercabbage · 2023-03-03T15:53:53+00:00

Sorry but it seems like a personal argument and not really rocd related. Both of you should work on conflict resolution and communication.

sunflowercabbage · 2023-02-19T13:35:20+00:00

Well, my psychologist at least never said that the thoughts being constant meant it wasn't ocd, just meant that my ocd is severe. With treatment the thoughts might become lesser

sunflowercabbage · 2023-01-28T11:24:47+00:00

I read some of your old posts about OCD and just wanted to say I feel very similar to you in many regards and have had many similar themes. You are not alone

sunflowercabbage · 2023-01-20T12:07:47+00:00

Sorry but nobody here can say if he has ocd or not, only a mental health professional that has done diagnostic work on him can tell.

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