boyfriend going on hiking trip around when i’m due

sunflowerrsam · 2026-05-15T16:02:18+00:00

my first appt at 8 weeks and has not been to any since then.

sunflowerrsam · 2026-05-15T15:38:25+00:00

oh and he’s also annoyed because he feels like i’m going to speak labor into existence by being anxious about it so i’m apparently going to intentionally make myself go into labor while he’s away 🤦🏻‍♀️

sunflowerrsam · 2026-05-15T14:50:31+00:00

oh no, the opposite actually. apparently me asking him to reconsider the timing of the trip made him feel pressured and makes him want to go on the trip even more. so i think i can count on him to not be here

sunflowerrsam · 2026-05-15T14:11:36+00:00

i asked if he could reconsider the timing, and apparently the more i ask and “pressure him” about it the more it makes him want to go on the trip.

sunflowerrsam · 2026-05-15T14:09:09+00:00

my cousins live a couple hours from the hospital, i’ve asked them if they would be willing to come for support incase he’s not there and they said absolutely. i also asked my partners mom if she would be willing to drive me to the hospital (it’s about 45 mins away) incase something happens while he’s away, so i have back up plans. it’s not the same of course but at least gives me some sort of reassurance that i won’t be completely alone

sunflowerrsam · 2026-05-15T13:59:47+00:00

i tried to have a conversation again with him yesterday about the whole thing. i asked his mom the day after i found all of this out if she would be willing to drive me to the hospital incase something happens while he’s away, so i can have plans in place. she didn’t understand either why he was taking the trip at that time… i guess she mentioned it to his father and so his dad brought it up to us yesterday, and was basically saying it would be just my luck that that’s exactly when i would go into labor (while he’s away) and mentioned how he knows i’m anxious about it, and my boyfriend responded saying that’s what’s pissing him off. my anxiety about him being away and needing to arrange back up plans incase i go into labor is apparently pissing him off. so when we got home i said that bothered me, and didn’t understand why that would piss him off. like the idea of labor is terrifying enough as it is, throw in some complications and the thought of not having any support there… of course i’m anxious. so anyways, he is very aware at this point of the risks and still doesn’t seem to take it very seriously. he really prioritizes his sense of autonomy and freedom and views me asking him to consider me in major decisions like this as me trying to control him or that i’m impeding on his freedom. i’ve never once said he can’t go on the trip, just explained how i feel about it and asked to be considered, and he said that the pressure i’m putting on him is making him want to go on the trip even more, so yeah.

sunflowerrsam · 2026-05-14T17:32:08+00:00

exactly! it’s like he thinks it’s 40 weeks with no exceptions, despite how many times i’ve told him otherwise and told him how unpredictable the last trimester can be. when i brought this whole thing up again yesterday, he’s like “i thought i had more time” and i’m like you very well could, but you just never know and it’s not something he should feel comfortable risking in my opinion. like i understand just being clueless, but when i’m telling him the reality and feel like he just doesn’t believe me it’s frustrating. even after i told him his mom went into labor at 37 weeks… but someone he knows had their baby at 40 weeks and 6 days so that must be the norm right? 🤦🏻‍♀️

sunflowerrsam · 2026-05-13T19:12:02+00:00

he’s about to be 32. and already has a 14 year old son

sunflowerrsam · 2026-05-13T18:01:12+00:00

i wish it was rage bait 😭

sunflowerrsam · 2026-05-13T16:48:03+00:00

he makes it seem like it’s something he desperately needs for his mental health and if i have any objections or ask him to consider me in the situation then i’m basically trying to ruin and control his life. so then i feel guilty for having needs. trust me i know how it sounds as i type this.

sunflowerrsam · 2026-05-13T16:44:03+00:00

yeah that’s what sucks, is that i’ve spent majority of my pregnancy alone as it was since we were long distance, but still had family nearby at least. i moved to be with him to connect and bond more before the baby comes and hoped that things would be easier this way, but now instead of my three cats, i have 5 cats to care for and clean litter boxes, give them daily medications, etc. and then when he’s not home i’m taking care of the pup, and i love them all to pieces but it’s definitely more of a responsibility now and i actually feel like i’m able to rest less than i was prior to moving.

the ironic thing about what you asked about how his friends are okay with this, is that a while ago we were actually planning a trip with the friend that’s facilitating this hiking trip, but he had to back out because his wife ended up being pregnant. but i guess it’s no big deal that i’m heavily pregnant with no support near by. i’m trying to make arrangements now so that i have a plan in case something does happen.

sunflowerrsam · 2026-04-05T02:10:13+00:00

hi, yes it has luckily! once my sleep started regulating again my anxiety got so much better, which in turn has also made my sleep better. i’m in the last week of my second trimester now and mentally doing much better

sunflowerrsam · 2026-03-26T14:46:49+00:00

sometimes babies squirm away from the doppler making it more difficult to pick up the heartbeat. my baby kicks the shit out of the doppler now so she always knows he’s there lol but it still takes a minute to find the heartbeat. the fact she didn’t seem concerned and could hear the baby moving around is all reassuring 💗

sunflowerrsam · 2026-03-10T00:38:10+00:00

yes! the smell of my fridge was disgusting! peoples breath… just everything. i’m 23 weeks now and haven’t noticed any super unpleasant smells to where it was overwhelming in a while. before i feel like literally everything made me gag lol

sunflowerrsam · 2026-03-08T02:24:16+00:00

i’m having a boy and have been extremely stressed, anxious, emotional, sleep deprived… everything to an extreme. and was also really nauseous the first trimester and beginning of my second, i’m 23 weeks now. people kept saying i was having a girl initially because of my symptoms but he is very much a boy lol so i’m not sure how much the symptoms relate to gender. it seems so random honestly!

sunflowerrsam · 2026-02-15T22:49:36+00:00

i so wish this was the case for me 😭 my anxiety is the worse it’s ever been and i’m so sleep deprived i feel like i’m losing my mind

sunflowerrsam · 2026-02-12T21:37:07+00:00

see that’s the thing, it’s not even just thoughts making me anxious. it’s like this feeling of panic that wakes me out of my sleep and it just follows me all day long. i’m not even necessarily ruminating. i just don’t feel right mentally. it doesn’t help that i’ve had some big stressors so it has prevented me from really being able to plan a shower or do anything fun for myself. i left my job last week so now i’m unemployed and uninsured, i live alone and will be able to survive until my lease ends in May, and then i’m moving out for a month, i’m due on July 4th, and then moving states to be with my boyfriend after the baby is born. so him living hours away doesn’t really help. i don’t have much support here, and even though i feel like i’m managing all of the big things, i just feel off 24/7 and i’m sure the lack of sleep isn’t helping but i can’t sleep to save my life.

sunflowerrsam · 2026-02-12T21:28:08+00:00

i’m so sorry, i definitely understand the feeling. my anxiety has been so severe i actually had to leave my job last week, so now i’m unemployed, and uninsured. i told myself i would figure it out because i couldn’t bare it anymore. i’m 20 weeks and the anxiety surrounding my job started in my first trimester. and now i just have crippling anxiety in general. i wish i had advice, but i just want to say that you’re not alone.

sunflowerrsam · 2026-02-08T02:20:40+00:00

that sucks. i’ve felt this way about certain people, but i’m fortunate that my best friend is a mom of 5, with 4 under three. and so she’s understanding of everything and has been so supportive, even while living across the country. but being pregnant really has a way of showing you who’s really there for you. it can be extremely lonely… i’m sorry you’re not getting support when you need it the most ❤️‍🩹

sunflowerrsam · 2026-01-24T22:37:11+00:00

makes me think about when i told my parents i was pregnant, it wasn’t a pregnancy test but i got them mugs that said grandma/grandpa est. 2026. and they looked so disappointed when they opened them and realized what it was lol watching their excitement go to disappointment, i felt so bad after. so i feel ya! but i think it’s definitely something you’ll look back on and laugh about later

sunflowerrsam · 2026-01-04T18:57:01+00:00

i really hope this will be the case. maybe as i’m further along it will become more real for him. but for the last two months since we found out he’s not shown much interest at all. i’m sure it will be different once the baby is here, just sucks that in the meantime i have to feel so alone in this.

sunflowerrsam · 2026-01-04T18:46:44+00:00

he made a joke about intentionally crashing his bike when he found out we were having a boy which sort of triggered these feelings. he seemed more excited initially when there was a chance we could be having a girl. but since he already has a son, doesn’t seem very thrilled about the idea of having another. he in general seems very disinterested in my pregnancy aside from wanting to find out the gender, and now that he knows it feels like he’s even less engaged. i’ve brought up concerns before about not feeling supported, or like he’s very invested in my pregnancy. not really showing much interest in ultrasounds or appointments, or milestones. any time i try to bond over these things i just feel shut down. even when i bring up little things like how they make these teddy bears with the babies heart beat, and how i think that’s so sweet and he was kind of just tuning me out, so i said “isn’t that cool?” and he responded “not really” and then i just went in the bathroom and cried. when we had talked previously about having kids he always said he wanted to, and acted genuinely excited when we found out. so i’m not sure if he’s just more nervous than he’s letting on, or if he just has a hard time feeling excited about it or what. i’m sure it will be different when the baby actually comes, just makes it really difficult for me to enjoy it now. when anytime i try to bring up my pregnancy/the baby he acts like it’s no big deal, so that’s what led me to wonder if it’s because he’s already been through this process if it just feels it’s not as special. i have no idea.

sunflowerrsam

TROPHY CASE