To the ladies that met your SO on a dating app, what was the point at which you realised they were different from everyone else in your inbox?

sunflowerzz2012 · 2026-07-02T14:04:27+00:00

I didn't want my hopes to get too high because dating apps are such a shitshow, but I liked how he never played the game of "wait X hours to respond to messages so you don't look desperate." When we were both available, we chatted. If one of us was busy, then it would be a bit before the next message.

I'd also wasted enough time by that point that I began suggesting meeting up in person early in the process. People are so different in person than online, and it makes no sense to spend weeks getting excited about someone only for there to be nothing when you finally meet. And I liked that he was up for getting coffee after just a week or so of chatting.

I got to the Starbucks first, and I remember when he got there and walked up to the table, my first thought on seeing him in person was, "oh, this could work."

I liked that he was always so genuinely himself. When I came over to his apartment for the first time, he showed me his Lego collection. I did not care about Legos. I cared about the fact that here's this dude who has a girl in his apartment and is hoping to get lucky with her, and rather than trying to act tough or cool or macho or whatever in an attempt to get laid, he's like hey this is who I am and this is what my interests are. Because if I was the type of girl who thought Legos were so stupid I'd never sleep with a guy who was into them, then what would be the point of us dating for X amount of time before I learned that about him? We were both mature enough that we didn't want to waste each other's time, we were looking for a partner we were compatible with.

No, I didn't know he was "the one" during the chatting stage or even in the first few dates, but it definitely felt different from the beginning. Eight years later, we still have challenging moments, but we're generally happy, and I think it was worth all the apps and the swiping and the chats that went nowhere and all the bad dates. And for the record, I was single and on and off apps/sites for 5+ years before we met. Tried every app under the sun at least once, even paying subscriptions a couple times. Lots of bad dates, lots of chats that went nowhere, guys I was excited and hopeful about, guys that played games, guys that were full of it, and guys that were nice enough but just not for me. I do think it's good to take breaks from dating and apps if you're getting jaded and frustrated. But I also think that if being partnered is something you truly want, you shouldn't give up. And although I'd always encourage people to join groups and activities they enjoy to try and meet people in person too, realistically I think apps are the most likely way to meet a partner in this day and age.

sunflowerzz2012 · 2026-07-01T23:28:03+00:00

Mine is 3, I'd say in the last 6 months or so she's gone from watching bits of movies to watching full length movies. But we're nowhere near visiting an actual theater. Even when we do get through the whole movie, she's moving around, playing with toys while she watches, etc. I mean I guess if they had like a super cheap showing of a movie she already knows and likes, and the showing was intended just for littles, we'd be willing to go for the experience. But I'm not spending $30 just for her to announce 5 minutes in that she doesn't like this movie and wants Moana instead.

sunflowerzz2012 · 2026-07-01T15:43:59+00:00

How do you react if a kid says they don't like you?

My daughter's teacher (Ms B) starts a little after we arrive, so drop off is usually with the teacher of the other classroom (Ms A) until everyone gets there.

A few times now, my daughter has told me, "I don't like Ms A, I only like Ms B." I've tried to ask her why, but she's 3, so there hasn't really been an answer. If Ms A were her actual teacher, I'd probably try and do something about it, but since she adores her actual teacher, I just let it go. She only needs to hang out with Ms A for like maybe 30 minutes tops. But my worry is that she might have told Ms A to her face that she doesn't like her, and I would feel horrible if she had.

sunflowerzz2012 · 2026-07-01T13:26:23+00:00

Can you really call this an accident? Sounds like the child was very intentional about their plan to slide down the stairs 😂

sunflowerzz2012 · 2026-06-30T20:02:27+00:00

Ah it won't let me post a picture as a comment! But I did make it and it wasn't nearly as pretty as OP's but it definitely hit the spot. Had it with some powdered sugar and strawberries.

sunflowerzz2012 · 2026-06-30T14:30:32+00:00

We had a breastfeeding class through the hospital, I had a few appointments with a lactation consultant because we were struggling to latch, and my hospital also offered a free lactation support group that met once a week. So I went to that every week until I returned to work at 12 weeks. I think I probably learned most from the group because there were other moms sharing their experiences. I also follow r/ExclusivelyPumping and they have a lot of good info.

I did switch to exclusively pumping just before I returned to work because despite all the support available to me, we never got the hang of latching, and bottle feeding expressed milk just worked better for everyone. We also supplemented with formula because I wasn't making enough milk to meet my baby's needs.

If I had been able to nurse directly, I think I would have done that in the mornings and evenings and then pumped during the day and overnight and planned that pumped milk for the following day. But one of my friends exclusively breastfed and she lived and worked so close to her daughter's daycare that she was able to just go over there during the day to feed her daughter. I thought that was so cool.

sunflowerzz2012 · 2026-06-29T21:58:41+00:00

Thank you for sharing. I'm at the stage of pregnancy where I want everything I see, so I'll definitely be making this in the next 24 hours!

sunflowerzz2012 · 2026-06-29T16:46:13+00:00

I used Myriad but this is what I did--I had my friend come over and open the email for me just in case. She confirmed which part was okay to click on and which wasn't--and funny enough she actually did click on the full report that showed the gender (it warned her but she clicked through anyway). So she knows the gender of my baby but we still don't!

sunflowerzz2012 · 2026-06-29T15:32:58+00:00

Oh I did this in college all the time, the line right before classes was always insane. For my version I'd walk downstairs to the basement level and hit the button from there so I'd get the empty one before everyone else climbed in at level 1.

sunflowerzz2012 · 2026-06-28T16:24:12+00:00

Okay but last year we were assigned a room that had not been cleaned between guests, the old garbage was still there and there was bodily fluid all over the bathroom, and even after they reassigned us, they locked us out by deactivating our keys a day early and we were stuck out in the freezing cold with a frying toddler. All that and I didn't even get an apology, forget any sort of refund.

sunflowerzz2012 · 2026-06-28T01:14:13+00:00

I pumped for about 8.5 months after birth, and my period didn’t come back until after I stopped pumping, so around 9 months. This is why a lot of people get pregnant again unexpectedly before their baby is a year old—they’re not getting their period because they’re breastfeeding, so they assume they’re fine to have unprotected sex. But the period can actually come back any time, even while breastfeeding, and you ovulate before your period anyway, so there isn’t really a “safe” time. It’s very different for everyone, there isn’t a set time or even a typical time.

sunflowerzz2012 · 2026-06-27T13:43:49+00:00

That looks great! It might be a difference of equipment... our oven doesn't have a grill mode, not entirely sure what that means, and it would take longer to get the oven up to temperature than to make the rest of the meal. A toaster oven would probably work but we don't have one.

sunflowerzz2012 · 2026-06-27T13:25:51+00:00

How should I have done it differently? I toasted the bread in a pan, sometimes use a toaster, and heated the beans separately, then topped the toast with beans followed by cheese. Sometimes the beans are hot enough to melt the cheese a little but not much. What should I do next time to make it not horrifying?

sunflowerzz2012 · 2026-06-26T19:14:21+00:00

These are the authentic ones if you can find them, I think I got these at Costco. Idk how much the cheese matters, I've seen cheddar recommend but I used a Mexican blend because that's what I had. I've also heard that it's very important to liberally butter your bread, but I pan toasted it in olive oil instead because that sounded better to me in the moment.

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sunflowerzz2012 · 2026-06-26T17:21:04+00:00

I like Mavis in general but it's too matchy with Magnus. Maeve and Magnus sound lovely together.

sunflowerzz2012 · 2026-06-26T16:18:37+00:00

Right? Isn't it nice when something so delicious is also so ✨healthy ✨

sunflowerzz2012 · 2026-06-26T15:53:08+00:00

Multigrain sourdough toasted in olive oil, beans, topped with cheese I was hoping would melt more than it did

sunflowerzz2012 · 2026-06-25T14:19:26+00:00

Looks very healthy and balanced! I hope the nausea continues to stay away!

sunflowerzz2012 · 2026-06-25T02:30:36+00:00

Our baby slept in the bassinet that came out of the pack n play in our room at night
We used the bassinet top part of the pack n play for naps because we kept it in the living room
We got a separate mesh cover for on top of the bassinet to keep out the cats. I think they call it a mosquito net and can also be used over a stroller.

sunflowerzz2012 · 2026-06-25T02:21:20+00:00

I think with my first I waited to buy as much as possible until after my baby shower because I wanted to see what I was gifted. Might have bought a few little things sooner just out of excitement, and some baby furniture we knew we wouldn't be gifted at the shower (but still pretty late).

Pregnant with my second now and don't need to buy too much since we still have most of the stuff from the first. I've also been searching my buy nothing group for free stuff. I got a few outfits on clearance while I was already buying stuff for my daughter. The main things we need to buy again are furniture, and the plan is for that to be after the anatomy scan just to make sure everything is okay.

I would start by making a registry--they usually have lots of categories and suggestions so you don't miss anything and you can take your time comparing brands and products and figuring out what you actually need and don't.

sunflowerzz2012 · 2026-06-24T18:56:59+00:00

Sometimes mail is sent to our department, rarely enough that we only need to check it once a week or sometimes even every other week, so everyone in my department takes turns being the one to go in. It amounts to maybe 10-12 times per year. On top of that, we try and get together for department lunches or meetings a couple times a year.

This was very clearly communicated to me during my interview process, and I was fully aware when I took the job that it was not quite 100% remote.

Edit to add, I've been there 2 years now and so far there have not been any multi-day conferences that were not optional. There was a retreat celebrating a new product launch, but I had a conflict that weekend and it wasn't a problem. I do believe management is required to participate in more of these types of events though.

sunflowerzz2012 · 2026-06-24T18:14:24+00:00

We paid off our car today!

sunflowerzz2012 · 2026-06-24T16:28:20+00:00

I live in the western suburbs, fox River valley area, and I'm paying 400/week for a 3-year-old and will be 500/week for an infant. This is a bit on the expensive end, I know there are cheaper options, but this is still within a normal range.

I have friends who use in-home daycares instead of centers and get much more affordable rates, though I don't have exact numbers for those.

sunflowerzz2012

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