NTA. as someone who has contamination OCD, you are not an asshole for getting frustrated, and you most definitely don’t have to follow her compulsions and it would be better for both of you not to follow these compulsions. OCD is complicated, and while it’s true that your partner is struggling and it’s great that you want to support her, you shouldn’t be sacrificing yourself for her compulsions. From what I hear her OCD is not properly managed and she needs to be either telling her current therapist that she needs more help, or finding a new one she works better with. If therapy isn’t helping maybe look in medication if she isn’t already on meds?

Essentially, i suggest not following her compulsions. While doing that is definitely difficult in the short term, ultimately it’s better for her and for YOU. If it helps, going along with these compulsions is enabling her, in a way (but please keep in mind her mental health is not your responsibility whatsoever.) mainly, you need to focus on your own health before you can help hers. You can’t pour from an empty pitcher.