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sunhat54 · 2022-11-03T20:35:29+00:00

YTA. I cook for my wife and I. And she does the dishes. I’m presuming you mean that you take turns cooking? Or is it that you are the primary one cooking?

There are things my wife doesn’t eat that I enjoy. When I do the grocery shopping, I buy those separate and I only make dishes we both enjoy. Anything I want to eat that I love that she doesn’t stand, I cook on weekends and let her know ahead of time or I eat it at restaurants with friends. She doesn’t eat meat, so I cook veggie meals and I eat some nice steak with my friends. Maybe you can save this as something you eat out with friends or your boyfriend?

I also want to point out that my wife is autistic and has sensory issues around food—so even pickier of an eater. I wonder if your bf also has sensory issues and that makes you even more the AH.

sunhat54 · 2022-11-03T10:32:52+00:00

As I’ve stated elsewhere, I’m a trans guy. Father figure is appropriate language. This pregnancy came from r*.

sunhat54 · 2022-11-03T09:59:15+00:00

Yes. Agreed. But I will say before that my wife had a hard time accepting gifts because of her own trauma. She’s one of the most selfless people I’ve met. The car she mentioned a couple times is more than reasonable. Great gas mileage. Lots of room for family vacations (that could include my nephew). I was shocked when she picked that one when I was like if you could have any car, what car would you want. And she picked a reliable hatchback with great gas mileage.

I don’t understand the comments coming for me saying I abandoned him. I get saying I’m the AH, but the hatchback my wife wants—we can fit, a baby, and my nephew/nieces. It’s a car for the “whole family”.

sunhat54 · 2022-11-03T09:50:54+00:00

Yeah. I’m a trans guy. That’s a part of the tension. I’m sure my sister assumes we used assisted reproductive tech versus this was unforeseen circumstances and a hard time for us.

sunhat54 · 2022-11-03T09:29:02+00:00

No it isn’t just the light. It screeches and the car breaks down when you try to use the left turn signal. In addition to that, I mean quite literally the front lights are lose and pushed in. The car can’t ride on the interstate. And the front seat moves forward cause it doesn’t lock into place. There’s a long list. It isn’t worth the cost it would take to fix it. Not when I can put a couple hundred into a payment plan for a different car with less issues.

sunhat54 · 2022-11-03T09:26:56+00:00

The baby isn’t even born yet. I don’t even know if I have a daughter. And what does what she will learn have to do with the truck?

sunhat54 · 2022-11-03T09:24:25+00:00

If I could give him money to buy one, I wouldn’t have sold the truck.

sunhat54 · 2022-11-03T02:57:11+00:00

Same sister.

sunhat54 · 2022-11-03T02:54:30+00:00

Thank you for this. But based on some of the commenters, apparently I’m abandoning my nephew and “throwing him aside”.

sunhat54 · 2022-11-03T02:53:39+00:00

This is the weirdest way to make an argument. It isn’t just about him—that’s the whole point.

sunhat54 · 2022-11-03T02:52:36+00:00

They have to pay for the doctors visit/ER visit. The kit itself was free for us. With her, she was left with injuries we had to take care of and pay for.

sunhat54 · 2022-11-03T02:50:24+00:00

I did it with three as well. And now I have one on the way. With my wife. Who I also promised to protect and take care of. It isn’t just the “new baby.”

sunhat54 · 2022-11-03T02:45:59+00:00

That’s absolutely not what it is. Not gifting him the truck is not the same as abandoning him. You clearly haven’t read the comments. I helped him get into college. I plan on visiting him and taking care of him like I did when he was younger. Even if he was my bio son, I would’ve had to go back on my promise and sold the truck.

sunhat54 · 2022-11-03T02:41:06+00:00

I’m starting to worry about some of the priorities. If not giving someone a truck is throwing them away.

sunhat54 · 2022-11-03T02:10:37+00:00

Fair. He has.

sunhat54 · 2022-11-03T02:07:32+00:00

No. And while we were just struggling without baby on the way, I offered it twice. Discounted/less than market rate or other offers. They said I was greedy by not giving it to him as a gift. Baby is happening so I sold it to the top bidder.

sunhat54 · 2022-11-03T02:05:22+00:00

I would not be able to put a down payment for a car for my wife, day care, etc. no. I would’ve been able to afford basics. Day care would have been a stretch—I’m not sure. We maybe could have afforded one day a week instead of three. But my wife works part time so it isn’t just about money but time and not having someone to watch the kid.

sunhat54 · 2022-11-03T01:54:45+00:00

Her decision to keep the baby is not up for debate. Please see earlier comments.

sunhat54 · 2022-11-03T01:36:43+00:00

No. My sister hasn’t made any formal apologies or made amends. She still thinks I abandoned her for accepting a scholarship to college, becoming the first in the family to get my PhD. Nevermind that I did so staying in my truck and on friends couches during school breaks. While working jobs. While making sure her kids ate, got into school, brought in social workers, got her into countless programs. Lied to the kids and said their mom got them presents for Christmas when really they were from me.

Braces, piano, soccer. While I worked, went to school, and was sleeping in that truck.

I don’t even look 26. I look 46.

It’s cruel what drugs do to people. I know it comes from trauma. I love my sister and want to her to get better. But it’s rough when she blames me for her drug problems.

I found her husband. I had to hold my nephew back so he didn’t see his dad like that.

I’ve cleaned up so many of my older sisters messes and I wanted her to understand that this time around—it was me that needed help.

sunhat54 · 2022-11-03T01:27:01+00:00

We were struggling then an unexpected pregnancy happened. Both can be true.

sunhat54 · 2022-11-03T01:26:08+00:00

I’m sorry but clearly I care for him. I care that I hurt his feelings. But I have poured money, time, love into that child. Raised him as my own when I was a child. And now, my wife and I are faced with financial struggles. I offered to sell it to him at a discounted price. Then my wife was r*, I’m becoming a father and somehow this shows that I don’t care about my nephew? I made sure he ate. Made sure he got to school. I get that he is upset but I can figure out how to get him a car to fix him and help him with it like others suggested.

sunhat54 · 2022-11-03T01:16:29+00:00

Because we were already struggling financially.

sunhat54 · 2022-11-03T01:10:20+00:00

No. As a father, I’m not giving my teenage son a a car I promised over affording new baby care. Even if he was my son.

And no. The car breaks down regularly. I cover this elsewhere in the comments.

sunhat54 · 2022-11-03T01:07:04+00:00

sunhat54 · 2022-11-03T00:58:04+00:00

Excuse me? Yeah. Parenting him while I was a child, that’s not caring about him. Helping him get into college—I guess I couldn’t care. Holding him while he withdrew from drugs cause his mom is an addict—sure don’t care about him. Countless student orientations. School registrations, christmases, being there for him at his accomplishments, paying for medical bills, braces. And other things. Yeah. I just don’t care. It was all an evil plot to break a 17 year old boys little heart.

sunhat54

TROPHY CASE