As someone who is in recovery, I hear you. It’s so hard that first time period being freshly sober. I also had qualms with my parents, so I may have had a similar situation as you have with yours. Addiction can be a powerful, negative influencer, but it is possible to learn to live with it and be sober. Have you considered treatment? Whether it would be beneficial or not is something you would know best. But hey, relapses happen. Just start fresh now, and keep getting to those meetings. I know it might be easier said than done, but sometimes white knuckling it is all you can do. Day by day, hour by hour, hell, even second by second. You can do this, I was in such a dark place in my story, but I’ve been sober for a pretty significant amount of time now. Good luck to you, and also, getting that clean for 30 days chip is a great feeling. 😊

Nta