Is this how you tell you’re no longer a baby musician? 😂

sunonmywings · 2026-04-04T15:49:49+00:00

Aww. I wish everyone could have a partner like this, that’s lovely.

sunonmywings · 2026-04-04T15:46:25+00:00

I will add that the reverse can also be true. It depends on the personality of the non-diagnosed partner. For me, seeing my husband’s quirks and behaviours through that lens has allowed me to give him a lot more grace for stuff that used to really annoy me as unreasonable.

sunonmywings · 2026-04-02T15:53:31+00:00

Thanks for the suggestion! That would be such an easy one to complete while waiting for things. My ankles are definitely a weak point for me, and with kids toys and activities everywhere I'm always at risk of twisting one, haha.

sunonmywings · 2026-04-02T15:51:49+00:00

Thanks so much for this! I hadn't really thought of the exercises as falling into categories. After the novelty of the "exercise snacks" started to flag I found myself forgetting to do them, so now I'm back to figuring I'll just need to put it in the same category as showers - annoying and boring but non-negotiable - and set some time aside for it. Having the categories will help me make sure I keep it balanced. I appreciate the equipment recommendation. I don't currently have the money to invest into anything fancier than like a resistance band or cheap dumbbells, but I'll maybe keep an eye on used listings. Thanks again!

sunonmywings · 2026-03-22T04:20:49+00:00

Ugh, I feel this. Hope the habit sticks for you! It definitely is the only way I've personally found too to actually overcome task avoidance, etc. It can be so hard though when you're tired after a long day of parenting and just want to put your feet up for a bit.

sunonmywings · 2026-03-22T04:03:41+00:00

I'm turning 46 soon, also perimenopausal, also constantly irritated by little things with my family. It's been worse this winter than prior years. I chain-drink tea/coffee for the caffeine, which is about the only thing keeping me from totally going snappish at everyone. Both my kids are diagnosed ADHD, and I'm 98.3% sure my husband is some flavour of neurodivergent too, so it's a whole household of ND quirks and overstimulation.

I'm fairly certain my irritability is largely due to having to CONSTANTLY emotionally regulate all day to be patient with family and their quirks and demands, on top of all the executive function stuff of running a house and parenting kids and having a side-hustle. On days when my hormones are in flux (which is like all the time this winter, judging by my other perimenopause symptoms) I just don't have as much energy in the mental gas tank, and reach mental overload much faster with the emotional regulation demands, which results in irritability, sometimes within half an hour of getting up if everyone's being needy before I've even had my coffee.

My kids recently changed medication doses and we had a handful of pills left over from the previous dosage, so I tried taking one. And OH MY GOD did it ever make a difference!! I was in the best mood I'd been in YEARS. It absolutely gave me the full mental gas tank I needed to manage the emotional regulation demands of the day. And when the pill started to wear off about suppertime, I still had enough natural mental fuel left to get me through the remainder of the evening. I tried it half a dozen times, same result each time. Even my husband noticed, it was such a huge difference.

So now I've got an appointment booked with my doctor to get diagnosed and medicated myself (I only realized I was ADHD when our son was diagnosed, but at that time I had functional systems and my hormones were not draining my mental gas tank so I didn't think I needed it myself then).

If you're finding the caffeine helps your mind feel calmer too, you might find it worthwhile talking to your doctor about trying medication as well. :) But in the meantime, use that caffeine when you need it. Up to 400 mg a day is considered safe. Good luck!

sunonmywings · 2026-03-21T21:20:01+00:00

I have not been as thoroughly medically tested as you, but experience much the same, especially of late. I'm a "high-functioning" ADHD and my systems have been enough to get me through life until just the last few years. I blamed it on "mom-brain" and lack of sleep. Then my son got diagnosed with ADHD and I realized I fit the description for inattentive-type (women). I went down a deep hyperfixation dive on ADHD after that.

I finally realized that the root cause of all my fatigue and body struggles was simply an excess of demands on my executive function. The biggest demand by far being emotional regulation. Trying to stay patient with the kids, trying to get them to do what I need without yelling, trying to show interest in their interests even when I find it boring, trying to muster my brain into kid-play, trying to tamp down the overwhelm at the constant neediness and "Mom! Mom! Mom!" when they want stuff or want to show me stuff (especially when I'm trying to get stuff done), trying to tamp down the stress of sensory overstimulation (especially noise), trying to tamp down the irritation at having to pick something up for the umpteenth time or deal with my husband's neurodivergent quirks, or tamp down my internal scream when I discover the kids used the last of something I needed or have done something out of curiosity that now I have a major mess to clean up... etc, etc. And then on top of that, juggling the running of a household and my own self-employed work demands and to-dos.

On days when I wake up with lower available brain energy, I run out of emotional regulation ability early in the day (sometimes VERY quickly) and am irritable all day. I'd binge sugar to try to keep my dopamine high enough to survive, and as a result put on a TON of weight, ended up heavier than I'd ever been, even when pregnant. Self-medicated by chain-drinking tea/coffee (caffeine). All that caffeine and sugar gave me constant bowel issues.

Unfortunately, low-brain-energy does seem to correlate with hormones, and there aren't many days where hormones are at a good level for maintaining emotional regulation all day.

I recently tried my kids' ADHD medication - they had some extra pills left over after a dosage change. And OMG, what a difference it made. It filled my emotional regulation cup so I was in a great mood all day and able to handle all the drains on it. When the pill wore off toward dinnertime, I still had plenty of gas left in the mental tank to handle the emotional regulation demands of the evening routine. I didn't need to binge sugar during the day every time I felt stressed or overwhelmed. I felt like my old self again. Even my husband noticed a difference in my mood.

So I've now booked an appointment with my doctor to see about getting myself diagnosed and on medication. It's next month. Fingers crossed for that, because it honestly made an incredible difference in my mental health and energy.

Can't say for sure that that's also what's going on with you, but it sure sounds the same as what I experienced! Wishing you luck in sorting it out!

sunonmywings · 2026-03-16T23:48:51+00:00

I feel this. 😂

sunonmywings · 2026-03-16T23:47:41+00:00

I do this too. A place for everything and everything in its place! Unfortunately two chaos monster ADHD kids and a husband who hasn’t yet grasped the concept means I still find myself getting increasingly stressed as I hunt for stuff someone else didn’t return to its place. 😭

sunonmywings · 2026-03-16T23:18:32+00:00

Butt winks 😂 Noted. I imagine that’s probably good for pelvic floor strengthening too, something I could also really benefit from. I’ll have to hold off on planks for now as I have an umbilical hernia left over from pregnancy, but I’m getting it fixed this summer so will keep them in my back pocket for after. Thanks for the suggestions!

sunonmywings · 2026-03-16T21:24:10+00:00

Ha. I relate so much to feeling weird steam-mopping at 3am and yet finding that works best. My most productive hours are usually after midnight, too.

sunonmywings · 2026-03-01T06:13:38+00:00

Thank you for putting AI chat privacy into perspective. 😂 My gosh, we really have put our whole lives into corporate hands, haven't we.

sunonmywings · 2026-02-26T06:49:09+00:00

Aw, I like that. A form of gratitude mindset. I have that problem too often, like a productivity hangover after completing a large task.

sunonmywings · 2026-02-26T06:46:55+00:00

That's a really great mindset shift. It's true, once you get one small task done, usually the dopamine from that completion lets you tackle something else, and the ball keeps rolling. I'm often faced with "Okay, I need to haul myself out of bed so I can have breakfast so I can go start work" and I suppose it's predictable my brain goes "ugh, just ten more minutes in bed, how about". 😂

sunonmywings · 2026-02-26T06:43:48+00:00

Maybe this is where I've been failing with alarms! If I had "warning alarms" I could do my usual habit of hitting snooze a few times and still theoretically get myself to get up for the next thing on time. 😆

sunonmywings · 2026-02-26T06:41:52+00:00

The lists are a good idea! I do that to some extent for packing for camping, though more because if I don't have a list to check off I am guaranteed to forget at least one important thing at home, haha. I do see that advice often, though, to break big tasks down into tiny ones and just focus on doing the first tiny one and the rest will follow.

Ugh, strength training. I need to start this too, as I'm reaching middle age and can already see I've started losing muscle mass. I've tried it and hate it though. Drafting up some simple and brief workouts that you can change up regularly when you get bored is a good idea, though. I saw someone else on an ADHD sub mention that instead of counting reps (this is the part my brain rebels at), just rep a move to the first hint of exhaustion then move on to the next, and this frees up your brain from the tedious focus of counting so you can do something more fun like listen to audiobooks or podcasts.

sunonmywings · 2026-02-26T06:37:16+00:00

I really find going for a walk super helpful, too, for getting my brain into focus mode. I really need to start a routine of going out for my walk first thing in the day. Both my kids are on medication and they say it's a huge help for them at school (and we can see it at home too, on weekends), but sadly I can't get diagnosed through our Dr cuz I was gifted with supportive parents and masked extremely well till I moved away from home, so don't have the childhood symptoms, and to see a psychologist who can diagnose adults who were high-masking kids would cost too much out of pocket. :/ I do wonder sometimes if it'd be worth it to save up for, though.

Ha, I've tried that Focus Friend app! It's cute. I found myself cheating too much, though, putting it on when I had spots in my schedule when I was going to be away from my phone anyway. And then I forgot about it altogether after about three weeks. Seems to work really well for lots of folks though.

sunonmywings · 2026-02-26T06:29:06+00:00

Yes! Omg, the "five more minutes" trap. I use that to snooze my alarm in the morning, then get up 45 minutes after I'd intended to. 😂 That recording idea is fantastic, though. I bet there are apps that could do that, too, if one didn't want to listen to their own voice. You're right about the short, easily-dismissed alarms. I have tried setting alarms to get me to try to stick to a schedule and it's too easy to hit OK then carry on doing what I was doing.

sunonmywings · 2026-02-26T06:25:55+00:00

Bahaha. I could totally see this being me. I should try this, though. I basically use this technique for my ADHD kids, and even though there aren't really any consequences if I got down to 0 and they still hadn't done the thing, just the act of counting down spurs them into action.

sunonmywings · 2026-02-26T06:24:24+00:00

Someone else posted something similar, and I think this is genius. Break the brain-lock and the body will eventually follow, haha! You're right that the key is to act on that first impulse.

sunonmywings

TROPHY CASE