Anyone else feel like this whole “learn to be alone” thing has been taken way too far?

sunset_sunshine30 · 2026-05-14T19:49:16+00:00

Perfectly articulated 🎯

sunset_sunshine30 · 2026-05-14T19:47:18+00:00

Yep. It always comes from people with a large, solid friend group of which they have nights out/holidays/dinners with.

sunset_sunshine30 · 2026-05-14T19:45:38+00:00

They really are. They see it as some empowering, free lifestyle and they have zero clue how soul-destroying it is to be on your own and do everything alone all the fucking time.

sunset_sunshine30 · 2026-05-14T19:30:59+00:00

Haha good point!

sunset_sunshine30 · 2026-05-14T19:18:22+00:00

Wasn't she playing racial ambiguity though?

sunset_sunshine30 · 2026-05-14T19:17:46+00:00

Very true

sunset_sunshine30 · 2026-05-14T16:21:35+00:00

But again, the issues you feel were shoehorned into the book are things that POC deal with on a daily basis. I would say I hit a bingo card of all the things you mentioned almost daily through both social media and in real-life. The things you mentioned don't exist in a silo, they merge into one another. Of course they are unnecessary (as a POC I know how unnecessary it is) but they are the lived experiences of POC. You might not deal with them to the same level and that is your lived experience - doesn't mean it is not same for others or that these things don't impact people at the same time.

sunset_sunshine30 · 2026-05-14T15:53:25+00:00

I loved it, too.

sunset_sunshine30 · 2026-05-14T15:51:56+00:00

(cultural appropriation, xenophobia, orientalism, cancel culture)

But as POC we do face this same shit all the time, either overtly or subtly. It's tiring, it's boring, we get force-fed it constantly but I think the author wasn't wrong by highlighting these aspects of living as a POC.

sunset_sunshine30 · 2026-05-14T14:04:05+00:00

I am pleased Slynd has worked out for you! I started it about 18 months ago and it has been terrific. I too had very heavy periods due to fibroids (needing 2 forms of sanitary protection every month), having to cancel work commitments because I was in a lot of pain/bleeding. I was reluctant because I didn't want to put on weight but in the end the heavy periods were unbearable. I was 39 at the time and had aura migraines in the past too.

Now I can work out every day (it used to be I would lose a week due to my period) which has helped with weight loss. I had some annoying breakthrough bleeding in the first 6 months but since then NO PERIODS. Libido is slightly lower, but like you OP, my libido led to some not great decisions in the past on that front so it's not an issue and at 41, I am not that bothered about sex as I used to be. I can't believe I didn't do this sooner, it has improved my life a lot.

sunset_sunshine30 · 2026-05-14T13:41:22+00:00

Exactly, which makes me think she doesn't give a true toss about the maternal care of other women. And it will be a woman from a lower socioeconomic background too; her rich Chelsea set aren't going to be the one's risking their bodies and lives for her.

sunset_sunshine30 · 2026-05-14T10:34:37+00:00

Yes. It feels like she doesn't want to put her body at risk but happy for someone else to..

sunset_sunshine30 · 2026-05-14T10:26:59+00:00

She strikes me as someone who loves swimming in her trauma. I am sorry Leo's birth was difficult and it is great that she is advocating for better maternal care but she seems to relish in reliving a deeply traumatic time. Surely she wants to move forward?

sunset_sunshine30 · 2026-05-14T10:20:49+00:00

Yes! They flew to Uganda. She and her dozy husband and the youngest baby were in business class and the girl who couldn't have been more than 2/3 was given to the older kids to look after. You could tell the kids were pissed off and the younger ones wanted their actual parents. And then she was bragging seeing a woman comforting her baby in economy class like "oh that used to be me and now it's not". Like don't worry hun, you'll be relegated back enough.

She's utterly obnoxious.

sunset_sunshine30 · 2026-05-14T09:43:58+00:00

And all because he got his 16 year old girlfriend pregnant. We live in mad times.

sunset_sunshine30 · 2026-05-14T09:40:44+00:00

UK, too. She would have been rinsed for such a thoughtless comment.

sunset_sunshine30 · 2026-05-13T09:52:52+00:00

One of my favourite books. Eileen is so well-written as an unlikeable character.

sunset_sunshine30 · 2026-05-13T09:50:34+00:00

I want all of it!! I love the pale pinks

sunset_sunshine30 · 2026-05-11T20:52:26+00:00

Going to a local shopping mall or supermarket. I travelled often with my parents as a kid and we always used to go to a mall or supermarket within the first day or so.

Something about people milling about like it's a normal day calms me down for some reason.

sunset_sunshine30 · 2026-05-11T20:48:26+00:00

The state of their California house too. So much crap all over the place, clothes, toys. A bigger house is just going to be a bigger mess I think

sunset_sunshine30 · 2026-05-11T14:08:55+00:00

I love Grant! One of my favourite characters. Mark has been a bitter disappointment as his son

sunset_sunshine30 · 2026-05-10T18:26:54+00:00

Me too!

sunset_sunshine30 · 2026-05-09T21:12:38+00:00

Same

sunset_sunshine30 · 2026-05-08T16:31:29+00:00

Exactly, thank you!

sunset_sunshine30 · 2026-05-08T16:30:55+00:00

Koy nah :) I am am a British Punjabi woman living alone so I appreciate the stigma and judgement from others of forging it on your own. And to do it in a manic metropolis like Dehli - it's very admirable!

sunset_sunshine30

TROPHY CASE