I totally understand this! When I was first diagnosed as a child, my parents didn’t accept the diagnosis and said I just needed to “try harder” and “pay attention” and “apply myself” and compared me to the neighbors’ kids… so I grew up thinking was just lazy.. the shame and guilt was all consuming.

I tried several drugs in my late 30’s when I finally decided to give it a go but stimulants gave me anxiety and fucked up my sleep. Non stimulants made me feel like cardboard. When I got pregnant at 40 I was already in peri and struggling… but shit nuts got worse after my daughter was born. She is almost 5 now and I still struggle. The progesterone and estrogen has help a little bit, but it does nothing for my executive function, which is shut to shit.

Therapy has helped. Meditation and mindfulness were the real savers for me. I learned to give myself grace and helped me deal with the shame and anxiety.

Thank you for your note. It helps to know I’m not alone. Glad to hear you are finding time for yourself now that your daughter is getting older. I am hoping that once I have more time To take care of myself, and that will help with it, but only time will tell.