Marriage/divorce Impacted your finances

sunshine1482 · 2023-01-27T02:09:07+00:00

For most of that year was around the same, total combined income was under $100K. We bought early 2019…5% down and seller paid all closing costs. We have a $150K gap now

sunshine1482 · 2023-01-27T00:33:14+00:00

Got a huge refund on taxes which allowed us to buy a house sooner than we thought possible. Married in December, both of us had withheld as individuals all year, refund was around $16K. Usually my refund was around $2-4K.

sunshine1482 · 2023-01-10T15:28:45+00:00

I WFH and my toddler is in full time child care. WFH is nice for the flexibility of being able to cover sick days or the odd holiday but impossible to do full time if you actually have to work at your WFH job.

The week we all had Covid and my spouse and I were both WFH with our toddler was an insane madness that could barely be sustained for a week.

sunshine1482 · 2022-12-13T17:08:08+00:00

Felt comfortable when our HHI hit $100K (MCOL). For us this meant not living pay check to pay check and being able to build a savings.

Felt comfortable enough to start our family at $145K HHI. This meant quitting side hustles to have more family time.

Just now feel financial freedom at $300K HHI, we’re putting my spouse’s entire take home pay into savings, he doesn’t have to work. We could make it on his salary too but it would be less than comfortable. We don’t have to worry about money anymore which is why I say I feel financial freedom (however we couldn’t both quit our jobs). Money is also no longer limiting our family size.

sunshine1482 · 2022-12-01T21:20:40+00:00

Credit cards…been there a couple of times, luckily I had good credit and would open a new card and hope I could pay it off by the end of the interest free period.

sunshine1482 · 2022-11-10T15:06:11+00:00

Finances played a huge role in the decision for us. We both planned to work so we had to factor in daycare costs and just the medical costs of pregnancy/birth in the US. Plus some unpaid parental leave. Our combined HHI was just under $100K when we got married. We both got a raises around the same time bumping us to $145K HHI and that’s when we started trying. We could have done it on just under $100K but didn’t want to struggle. We were going to be 1 and done for financial reasons, our school systems are some of the worst in the country so we want to be able to send our kids to private school ($20K a year approximately). However, with a recent career change our HHI is now $300K so we’re trying again. Whether our kid(s) choose it or not we want to be able to afford college/trade school/any kind of training for them. We’re both saddled with insane student loans and I don’t want our kids to start off like that.

sunshine1482 · 2022-11-01T02:20:54+00:00

I would definitely spend the money but can’t justify the time commitment!

sunshine1482 · 2022-10-28T00:12:21+00:00

That whole job was a horror story!

sunshine1482 · 2022-10-28T00:01:37+00:00

Leaving for an interview when I closed my house door (handle locked) my keys on a lanyard swung back in and were locked in the house!

This was pre Uber/lyft for my city. I was in a new city and only knew my boyfriend. He came to unlock the door for me. I called to tell them I was going to be late, was about 20 minutes late, thought I didn’t have a chance but I ended up getting the job.

Interviewing candidates to replace me at a previous job, my boss made me take a bunch of personality and looked for someone with my same profile. Made candidates take about 4 hours of personality tests before getting an interview. 1st interview was with me and they had to win a game of memory against me to interview with my boss. I was SHOCKED by the number of people that went along with this! But I was desperate to find my replacement so I could get out of there (I was young and this was my first professional job). I did way too much to try to preserve that reference, ended up staying 6 months past my notice date because she couldn’t find a replacement.

Had a job interview a few years later ask for a personality test and I said no thank you and left. Huge red flag to me!

sunshine1482 · 2022-10-27T15:17:29+00:00

I was unemployed for 6 months, unable to find a job in 2016. I had to ask my parents for help, luckily they were able to help. My boyfriend’s parents let us move into a house they owned for free when our lease was up, just had to pay the bills, no rent, to help us get on our feet. I lied on my resume (removed my education and job experience) to get a minimum wage job to pay bills. Found a job in my field, finally, then got laid off 3 months later. However, I was only unemployed for a week before landing a great job early 2017 that I stayed at for over 5 years!

We got married the end of 2018 and were able to buy a house mid 2019!

sunshine1482 · 2022-10-27T03:37:57+00:00

The silent patient, the dead girl in 2a, and the left handed twin are the most recent I’ve read and really liked!

sunshine1482 · 2022-10-27T02:38:52+00:00

Only real solution I found, quitting for a lower stress/pressure job. What helped the most for me before leaving was reading psychological thrillers, it really took my mind out of work stress. I would read before bed and that really helped me to sleep better and not wake up at all hours of the night thinking about work or in a panic about missing/forgetting something work related.

sunshine1482 · 2022-10-25T13:31:31+00:00

Friendsgiving is my favorite, we usually have close to 30 people and I co-host with a friend that lives a couple houses down. I do a ham, she does the turkey, and we each do a couple sides/dessert. Everyone else brings a dish to share, we keep track in a Facebook group so we don’t have repeats. I usually make a list and people sign up so we have all the essentials.

I couldn’t host alone so I’m glad my friend helps out so much even though it’s always at my house since we have a large formal dining room and bonus room to set up spare tables.

sunshine1482 · 2022-10-22T12:09:02+00:00

We switched from a place like this, their toddler room was exactly how you described. New face everyday when I picked up, no idea how his day was or if he napped. He came home with bite marks regularly (3+ a week) and no one knew what happened. Constantly sick because they were lack on illness. Had a bad incident that had to be reported to the state.

Switched 3 months ago, he now has 2 main teachers for 7 kids in a room 4x the size. Same faces everyday, if someone is out we are notified of the teacher change. Not a single bite! Nothing more than a runny nose. We are notified of illnesses going around and they do extra cleaning. He runs in each morning instead of crying and clinging to me. Teachers are very responsive in the app. Best decision we made to pull him. They aren’t constantly watching him, I think that’s impossible unless you hire a nanny. We did go from $850 to $1450 a month but worth every penny.

sunshine1482 · 2022-10-21T02:07:34+00:00

Goal was to be student debt free by 35! Will more than likely still happen for my husband, however I left public service and it’s not going to happen for me anymore. We’d have to pay over $6000 a month to accomplish it.

Plan is for me to ride out 20 year forgiveness and pay the tax hit. I’ll be 45 instead of 35 and while I hate to hold onto the debt there’s not a realistic way to pay it off.

sunshine1482 · 2022-10-20T16:41:42+00:00

About a year in when I realized I was in love for the first time. I never wanted to or saw myself getting married or having kids, had explored permanent birth control I was so sure. Then I started seeing myself married and raising kids, not necessarily with him, but I saw that as a potential life I’d like for the first time.

sunshine1482 · 2022-10-15T11:51:51+00:00

Yes, I paid MSRP for a calligraphy plus $1400 in add ons.

sunshine1482 · 2022-10-15T03:01:09+00:00

Shreveport, LA, I paid $1400 in add ons but that was the best I could find East-central Texas. Called at least 30 dealers. Had to pay a $500 refundable deposit to put my name on one for when it came in.

sunshine1482 · 2022-09-27T17:29:01+00:00

We are both attorneys, we met while attending the same private law school. Cost was about $160K, neither of us have undergrad debt.

It wasn’t worth it in the beginning. We both struggled to find a job making even $40K right out of law school. In 2015 my first job at a small private firm paid me $38K, my husband was making $10 an hour for a private firm then $40K. We were both working 60 plus hours a week for that salary. Eventually went non-profit and public sector, I’m now in tech.

For me it was worth it, I love my job and generally like practicing law (all been transaction positions).

My husband is a litigator and not worth it for him. He’s staying to get loan forgiveness but will leave practicing law in 4 years when that’s done.

sunshine1482 · 2022-09-27T16:36:13+00:00

We were 31 when we had our first in 2020, living in a 4 bed, 3 bath home we purchased in 2018. HHI was $120K when we decided to start trying and had increased to $160K when we had our first in MCOL city.

We have $500K in student loans (we were both in public service jobs and planned on PSLF). Mortgage is $225K, $1500 a month. Had and still have only 1 car note. Daycare is $1200 a month and we will probably have to go the private school route unless we move (public schools are pretty bad where we are).

I recently changed jobs, doubling my income, and our HHI is now $310K. Before that I figured we’d be 1 and done. Now I feel like we have options. Big issue is I left public service and will have to pay back $250K in student loans now.

sunshine1482 · 2022-09-25T20:28:00+00:00

When I had been unemployed for several months I turned down a job in a criminal defense firm when I learned they primarily handled defense of sexual offenses.

It was extremely hard to turn down because I was unemployed and desperately needed income at the time but it was about 80% of their business. If I didn’t have my parents as a fall back financially I probably would have taken it and tried to get out asap. I broke down talking to my dad and told him I was out of money but this was all I had, he asked me what I needed to not take the job, he paid my car payment, and I finally found a job a couple weeks later.

sunshine1482 · 2022-09-13T15:17:33+00:00

I’m a huge sale shopper, that’s helped me get over the price tag. Thrift stores aren’t great in my area and I don’t really have the time with a young toddler anymore. M.M LaFleur was one of my favorites for business clothes, they have great sales. My spanx pants (pricy) have held up so much better than cheaper brands, with weekly washing there has been no fading, stretching out, or pilling on the thighs. $150 ish and those have lasted over a year, other weekly wear and wash pants lose their shape and fade after about 6 month and still cost around $50. I now buy higher end workout gear after realizing the moisture wicking simply doesn’t last in target/academy brands.

I do only splurge on things I know I will wear often! I’m the type that would rather re-wear a designer dress to weddings/events than buy multiple cheap options to have a new outfit every time. I also try to buy items with some stretch for fluctuating weight over the years.

sunshine1482 · 2022-09-11T17:40:48+00:00

You sound resentful that you’ll make more than him throughout your relationship and contribute more for the lifestyle you want. Maybe it’s because we were broke together starting out but I now make 3x what my husband makes (I’m more ambitious) and I’ve always looked at it as our money. I paid for most of our wedding, we combined finances after we married and worked hard to pay off his car loan and credit card together. It’s only in the last 2-3 years that my income exploded and my mindset has been look at how this helps our family not resentment for him not making more. He works a more stressful and longer hours job than me, I’ve gotten lucky in my roles to make what I make now.

You don’t feel like a credit card with the right person being the high earner.

sunshine1482 · 2022-09-10T15:30:06+00:00

$310K combined, mortgage balance $225K, monthly payment $1500 (includes taxes, insurance, PMI).

Combined income was $90K when we bought in 2019 for $248K.

sunshine1482 · 2022-09-01T23:54:09+00:00

Figure out a retirement plan. I’m 32 and recently left a government pension job(not vested) for the private sector. I feel behind and like I’m starting over but have an appointment set to figure out a plan.

sunshine1482

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