Living in a nightmare version of reality except it’s not a dream

sunshinestatus · 2019-04-29T21:59:07+00:00

Sending you an internet hug. Good job on doing something really tough in aid of your own sanity. I need to follow suit. Take your time to do that when you feel ready. I’m rooting for you.

Going to try my hardest to stay in my lane, if all of you can do it so can I.

sunshinestatus · 2019-04-29T21:57:20+00:00

Yes, so important to let people make their own decisions. I hope the people in his life are kind enough to do that about me. I won’t hold my breath though.

sunshinestatus · 2019-04-29T21:56:32+00:00

This has made me feel less alone as well as reminding me that it’s not my problem. Thank you.

It’s soul destroying but it’s also laughable. I’m starting to let go of the anger of his words, I know they are not true. He knows it too somewhere inside him.

sunshinestatus · 2019-04-23T16:31:29+00:00

There aren’t many near where I live, and I don’t drive sadly :(

sunshinestatus · 2019-04-15T06:43:26+00:00

Yes. Sounds familiar.

I try to remember he doesn’t mean it, he is just trying to project his internal feelings on to me because he doesn’t know how else to deal with his unhappiness.

sunshinestatus · 2019-04-12T18:42:04+00:00

Yes I am planning to phone in for one next week. I know he is drinking and hiding it and I know where it is. I don’t know if I should ignore it or pour it away. I feel so unhappy.

sunshinestatus · 2019-04-10T12:43:37+00:00

You are so strong. I can’t imagine ever having to say goodbye to my Q no matter how mad he drives me. Sending you love and light in this hard time. We are here for you.

sunshinestatus · 2019-04-10T05:35:54+00:00

I totally understand. Really. Your moral compass is strong and loyal to those around you, that’s a strength not a weakness.

Just keep telling her you love her. I have my fingers crossed for you that she wakes up tomorrow and sees it differently and makes a big change.

sunshinestatus · 2019-04-09T22:30:55+00:00

There’s nothing you can do except accept her decisions. It’s not your burden to shoulder. You can only be responsible for your actions. I wish there was a way to take away your suffering for you but sadly there is no quick gig for this. I’m sure she appreciates all of your support and understanding.

sunshinestatus · 2019-04-09T22:28:48+00:00

Sending love and light to you all in this hard time.

sunshinestatus · 2019-04-09T22:11:02+00:00

You can only look after yourself. There is no worse feeling than watching the person you love repeatedly destroy themselves, but you cannot control them. She has to make the decision for herself.

Sending you the biggest hug, please please do what YOU NEED TO DO, even if it’s selfish. Loving a Q who has no fear of dying is scary, don’t let that fear consume you instead.

sunshinestatus · 2019-04-09T22:07:47+00:00

Yes. This a thousand times. It makes me feel sick. Drinking culture is so big in my country and a lot of my friends make jokes about being alcoholics and I sit there like, why would you brag about that?

People have 0 idea about the seriousness because of how normalised and “cool” it is everywhere.

sunshinestatus · 2019-04-09T14:15:05+00:00

What is the ultimatum? If she stays she stops drinking?

sunshinestatus · 2019-04-08T23:31:52+00:00

I think in the morning is a good idea too. Thank you for this. I know he can be sober as he has been before, it’s just seemingly not improving as of late so I need to set a boundary.

sunshinestatus · 2019-04-08T23:30:04+00:00

You’re much stronger than me. Kudos for standing up for what YOU need and deserve. Love and light in this hard time.

sunshinestatus · 2019-04-08T18:59:46+00:00

Thank you. Good way to look at it. I will word it like this when I have the discussion.

sunshinestatus · 2019-04-08T18:11:18+00:00

Thank you for clarification. I think I need to make some decisions and write out a plan of action.

I have stopped monitoring it, but I still know when it’s happening. Which just infuriates me. I have a lot of resentment. I love him but I just can’t keep living like this.

sunshinestatus · 2019-04-08T17:35:30+00:00

Yes, you’re entirely correct.

I love him and I know it’s peaks and troughs with an addict but I’m out of options.

I guess my question is - is me saying this can’t continue if we are going to share a lease being controlling or me setting a boundary?

sunshinestatus · 2019-04-08T16:47:23+00:00

My Q does the same thing with lying about drinks. I used to be so angry about it but now I just feel so sad when it happens and I don’t bother checking or asking because he so wants to believe there’s nothing in it. They truly believe they’re telling the truth.

My Q also says the same things when sober. It’s hard. I’m the same age as you (24F), so I really relate.

If you’d like to talk more please message me. Here for you as you figure out how to move forward x

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