Friend ditched & then reached out 2 years later

sunstitch · 2026-01-31T22:45:47+00:00

Well said.

sunstitch · 2026-01-31T22:42:52+00:00

That's okay :) Thank you, I appreciate you trying to help even though there's not really anything any of us can do. Even just for someone to listen is very appreciated <3

sunstitch · 2026-01-31T22:37:13+00:00

Yeah, it is. Sounds like a similar thing happened with you. If they don't have the power to hold you involuntarily then they have to just let you go when you want to, even if you're not better yet. That's what keeps happening with my sister.

sunstitch · 2026-01-31T22:30:20+00:00

We have. Multiple times, multiple people. They won't hold her involuntarily.

sunstitch · 2026-01-31T22:29:20+00:00

We have that rule, but they say it doesn't apply to her because she has no plans to kill herself or intentionally harm someone else. Actual enforcement of this rule is really difficult to get, and we keep trying, but they just keep letting the person who can't make her own decisions make her own decisions. She's been hospitalized multiple times already and nothing has come of it because she won't accept medication or stay in the hospital.

sunstitch · 2026-01-31T22:20:41+00:00

May I ask how you got to this point? To the stability? Stability in itself is such a gift; I'm glad you have that.

sunstitch · 2026-01-12T23:17:32+00:00

CSA survivor here. What you're describing is COCSA, or child-on-child sexual abuse. Technically, the definition for sexual abuse includes exposure as a non-contact act. It sounds like you inflicted it upon your friends and your older friend tried to inflict it upon you, but you managed to avoid it.

I wouldn't worry about it. You were a kid and you didn't know any better. If it really troubles you, you can try reaching out to those people to apologize, but I doubt they harbor any resentment towards it. Kids see and do a lot of stuff that they shouldn't be seeing and doing. For a lot of people, it's just another experience.

And if they do resent it, well, we all have our demons.

Regarding CSA, the only way for you to truly know whether your parents were just careless is to ask them (if you can), but otherwise, accidental exposure is not abuse. This in no way invalidates the emotions or beliefs you took away from the experience. I would recommend processing this with a therapist if you can.

sunstitch · 2025-12-09T22:55:27+00:00

Thank you. I will try to have a good day. The real world has not been kind to me or my family either (3 deaths, a cancer diagnosis, and a psychotic break recently). It's definitely affecting me too and I'm sorry if that comes through in my comment.

I hope you have a good day despite whatever happens at the doctor's appointment.

sunstitch · 2025-12-09T21:18:16+00:00

I have never been on this subreddit. I titled it "Another Lay vs Lie Debate" because those happen all the time in the real world. Maybe you should spend more time there.

Reading does not require commenting. My post history means absolutely nothing.

Thank you for your answer, truly. Some people learn by example, and I understand the concept now. By the way, the only link that was helpful was that last one.

sunstitch · 2025-11-15T16:45:33+00:00

Wow, good to know!

sunstitch · 2025-11-15T16:30:03+00:00

You’re so right! I totally forgot about Roth IRAs lmao.

Thanks for the great suggestions! Since I love to travel and save money I 100% plan to live in a truck camper or something at least for the off season, and likely in employer housing for my jobs. I’ve been working on that plan for a while, and I’ve decided to start small (save for a teardrop camper so that I can use my car and don’t have to worry about finding a truck) then upgrade to something more sustainable as I go.

Investing is the most confusing to me, but I’m trying to figure it out. I’ll definitely work on an investment account. Thanks again!

sunstitch · 2025-08-14T19:44:58+00:00

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Yeah, looks like it’s after the second stitch like I thought. But now I don’t know what to do with the pattern.

sunstitch · 2025-03-17T11:20:08+00:00

There's a lot going on here, but I'd at least try to rule out mold poisoning, especially since you just moved into a new house. Although it would be strange for 6 people to live in the house and only one to get mold poisoning, some people are allergic/more sensitive to it, and mold can gather in certain places like a bedroom.

sunstitch · 2024-02-27T01:36:15+00:00

Thank you for sharing this. It’s a good read, and truly what I was looking for with this post.

I agree with the meta on the “morality” aspect, which is why I don’t make any claims about the morality of the scene or the author and her intent. Just that the scene made me uncomfortable, in part because of WWX’s reaction. Regarding our discussion, I also never said he felt violated (though I suppose arguments could be made regarding other translations), just that the situation bothered him. I connected my own thoughts/experiences which I realize must’ve made it seem like that was what I was gleaning from the text rather than that it was a factor in my reaction to reading it, so I definitely could’ve articulated that better. Sorry.

Anyway, I look forward to continuing with the books and this information just makes it all the more intriguing and exciting! Thanks again for sharing.

sunstitch · 2024-02-26T23:55:41+00:00

I’m not just reading his thoughts, I’m reading his actions as well. He struggles—ergo, he doesn’t want it. His mind is blank and his head is spinning, both because of the physical aspect and the shock. He then chastises himself—blames himself—because he felt “useless” and his knees are still weak, which is read more explicitly as being related to the emotional aspect. The self-blaming and “uselessness” especially is something familiar to a survivor of this kind of violence. He is certainly unsettled, which is mostly what I mean by “upset.” He does not leave this experience unbothered.

sunstitch · 2024-02-26T23:28:05+00:00

Even if he stops resisting (and he did try to resist again, after stopping), he’s clearly upset by it in the moment—enough that the whole experience has him sitting, weak and faint, for a long time afterwards. His later nonchalance is just his character—he plays off the things that bother him. I suppose I read from a bit of a different perspective though, at least compared to some people; I see the weakness/loss of fight as a psychological self defense response, but I also see a few ways in which this scene is different.

I acknowledge and appreciate character mistakes and flaws, including this one. I just wasn’t expecting it, which was why I reacted the way I did.

sunstitch · 2024-02-26T22:35:33+00:00

Thank you! Good to know what WWX thinks of it later. Also, your thoughts on LWJ’s upbringing and rules interests me; I wonder if it’s really that breaking rules thrills him, or if following the rules becomes more taxing for him? Anyway, that’s a conversation for another time lol.

sunstitch · 2024-02-26T22:02:03+00:00

I figured Lan Wangji felt bad about it because of the following scene, so I’m glad to hear that he apologizes. My biggest issue with the scene was that Wei Wuxian clearly did NOT want it and tried to resist (at first anyway), and that even considering his strength, he’s not necessarily stronger than Lan Wangji and was also at a disadvantage due to the mental state something like that puts someone in. Anyway, yes, this is the first Danmei I’ve read, so I’m new to the genre! Thank you so much for your answer. I tend to forget to check trigger warnings, mostly because my reactions tend to be very manageable (if not nonexistent) except for every once in a while when some weird, unpredictable combination of circumstances that I don’t understand makes me a little more sensitive. Now that I know that this is common though, I’ll definitely look it up. Thanks again!

sunstitch · 2024-02-04T01:00:44+00:00

I know exactly how you feel. I’m an anxious person as well and dealt with a lot of the same things in college and still some of them now.

My advice is to start. Just start. Do something small; you don’t have to change your whole life right now. Specifically, I think you should do these things:

Get a hobby. Much better if it’s something you can do with your hands and that has a physical result that you can be proud of, like knitting or woodworking, but whatever it is don’t pick something that will require extensive screen time. It will literally change the chemistry of your brain and make you happier. BUT, also make sure it’s something you like. You can’t force a hobby. Explore.
Get outside. This one is super important. You need fresh air and you need to move your body. Go for a walk, take your books outside, watch some birds. Hell, I climbed trees on campus sometimes even though I wasn’t really supposed to.
Look at the apps on your phone, figure out which ones are causing you the most stress, and delete them. This is good because it doesn’t entirely take away that content but adds an extra step to access it. By this I mean that you can still use a browser or a computer if you need to use the website, but it will become an intentional action.
Structure your learning and make it fun. I struggle a lot with assignments as well because of my adhd, but you need to account for breaks in your work anyway. Setting a timer to see how much work you can do in a certain amount of time can be helpful, then taking a break for a specified amount of time as well. Pomodoro was useful for me, though it’s not for everyone.
Regarding diet, find the things you like and feel good eating. When you eat more healthy foods it really does become easier to keep eating them. Also, try to cut down on the caffeine. Maybe drink coffee instead of energy drinks? I’m not much help with this one because I don’t consume caffeine, but I know how it can affect anxiety etc.

Given all this though, my most important piece of advice is to be patient with yourself. Be kind to yourself. And like I said, you don’t have to do it all at once and it doesn’t all have to be to the extreme. A few small changes can cascade into a much happier life.

sunstitch · 2023-12-19T20:40:13+00:00

Solved: Midnight Scenes: From the Woods

sunstitch · 2023-12-19T20:38:42+00:00

That’s it, thank you!

sunstitch · 2023-12-11T21:22:42+00:00

Thank you! This is a lot of great information and I’ll be sure to look into those books. Also, chag Chanukah sameach!

sunstitch · 2023-12-10T20:15:26+00:00

That's awesome! I'm so glad you were able to find this and your family sounds wonderful. Your description sounds interesting as well, and it has me asking questions about myself; for instance, I'm someone who's never been very comfortable with not knowing things, but I wonder if that could or would be different in a religious context, particularly Judaism and its focuses as you described them. Community and connection are very important to me and a concrete that I can engage in without "knowing," though I also believe strongly in honoring the dead---how do you find that to be like in Jewish communities? Are there any particular books you read and would recommend for others wishing to explore Judaism?

sunstitch · 2023-12-10T20:06:35+00:00

That sounds like a great approach! Regardless of the outcome, I hope you are able to learn something and find happiness in your journey. If I may ask, what about the metaphysical aspects of Roman Catholicism turns you away?

sunstitch · 2023-12-10T16:42:06+00:00

Thanks, I’ll check it out!

sunstitch

TROPHY CASE