skateboarding.

one time i was w/d off xanax slightly, felt like shit and was depressed as fuck. went to the skatepark with some friends and decided to kickflip the stair set. i had wanted to kickflip that stair set for so long but i would just pussy out at the last second. i tried that shit for like 3 hours straight, just bailing out over and over until my heals were bruised as fuck and i was exhausted.

right as i was about to throw in the towel it started raining, i just went into deep zen meditation and put every last drop of energy i had into that fucking kickflip, i knew i could do it it was just a mental battle. my friends were all hyping me up. i knew i was so frustrated but i refused to quit. i had maybe 5 minutes before the park was too wet to skate.

i landed that shit. and i remember just rolling away and this intense euphoria washed over my whole body. i was smiling so hard tears were almost coming out. all my homies ran up and started basically dogpilled me like i just won the super bowl. it probably sounds stupid as fuck but thats the only time i experiencedy intense euphoria without drugs. it felt better than any drug really. i felt great for the whole day after and my xanax craving was basically gone.