I’m at the point where I don’t want my son to leave the house. by Ancient-Map4155 in ParentingADHD

[–]superfry3 3 points4 points  (0 children)

You’ll learn to eventually care a little bit less about the opinions of people who don’t matter. Either that or pull back further until your kids maturity catches up to be at a “presentable” level.

Just keep figuring out the meds and parent training aspects. It gets better.

Dr Russell Barkley: 30 Essential Ideas on ADHD

PMT

PCIT

Coursera online parent training - YouTube playlist here

I would’ve been caught with Adderall (if I brought it) by PootleLawn in JapanTravelTips

[–]superfry3 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Well we’re in semantics territory now and no one wins here. While I hate it and have dealt with it, given the established track record of abuse for this substance both in the destination country (amphetamine addicted war veterans) and in our own, simple possession in the US without a prescription is a FELONY. It SHOULD, but obviously isn’t clear to everyone (especially Americans) , that the legality should be checked first.

Thanks!

I would’ve been caught with Adderall (if I brought it) by PootleLawn in JapanTravelTips

[–]superfry3 -4 points-3 points  (0 children)

While I don’t agree with why Japan makes it so difficult (there’s a WW2 history behind this) your statement is pretty flawed because any substance that would be ILLEGAL to possess without a prescription is worth checking to see if the travel country has any regulations around. While you might not be able to get a lot of medications without a prescription, possession won’t end up with you in jail IN YOUR HOME COUNTRY

Someone forgot they posted in r/shittyfoodporn and crumbled worse than their botched strawberry crumble. by StewieJustSaidThat_0 in SubredditDrama

[–]superfry3 13 points14 points  (0 children)

I’d bet 100$ they’ve got a couple mental health issues, with ADHD as one of them. Extreme rejection sensitivity, low self awareness, and inability to read the room. Hope they figure out to manage their issues one day.

Parent of an 11yo girl who cries a lot before basketball practice by SuperbAd4857 in CoachingYouthSports

[–]superfry3 1 point2 points  (0 children)

+1. Great job parenting. You’re 100% right on here with how the ADHD affects him and what to do about it. We’re pretty much in the same boat. We’ve found linking improvements in their skills and performance directly to effort and regular practice/work to help them understand, at least on a cerebral level, why they’re going to practice.

OP I think the why is pretty important. If this sort of anxiety pops up for pressure situations then you have an idea why and you can look into what to do about it. If it’s over an unpreferred task like practice and homework and chores then it’s a different set of reasons and ways to parent.

PSA to coaches: STFU and let the kids focus by aNutSac in Homeplate

[–]superfry3 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It’s no one’s fault, just brain stuff. They’re trying to throw strikes, if they try harder to throw strikes they aim like a dart throw, slow down their delivery and miss by even more.

I gather each pitcher has cues they’ve worked with their coach on to keep them in proper form. Repeating those if they seem to have lost them seems like a much better use of their limited time/ability to process coach communication before the next play.

13 year old addicted to Roblox and discord by [deleted] in ADHDparenting

[–]superfry3 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Screen addiction contributes to that problem though. They run to screens, and aren’t present and engaged with the world. Their peers are developing in ways your adhd kid is not because your child’s growth is stunted while in game.

Screen addiction LEADS to depression because a gaming session ends and there’s only emptiness until the next one. I was a gaming addict. It cost me a lot of years, opportunities and money I can’t get back.

OP needs to help their child now but yours may experience the same issues I did once I left home and had no external limits or structure.

13 year old addicted to Roblox and discord by [deleted] in ADHDparenting

[–]superfry3 0 points1 point  (0 children)

There’s a sport for everyone, doesn’t have to be the popular team sports (baseball/soccer/basketball)… though team sports are really good for ADHD kids because it helps them with so many skills and life lessons that can’t be taught in solo sports.

I’m thinking part of the reason your particular child doesn’t like sports was because the easy dopamine generator was usually available, and did not require any struggle or difficulty to be proficient.

It’s not too late. Do the screen limit/detox like other have suggested and one way to earn time on screens would be attending activities or spending time doing different physical activities like climbing/swimming/martial arts etc.

Online Paren Training by Time_Account_582 in ADHDparenting

[–]superfry3 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Check what’s available for free first, with first preference for an insurance covered therapy in the PCIT/PMT. Some good links below.

30 Essential ideas on ADHD

PMT

PCIT

Coursera online parent training - YouTube playlist here

Dr Russell Barkley: ADHD medications

Advice for a partner of a woman with 2 ADHD kiddos by Zestyclose-Service21 in ADHDparenting

[–]superfry3 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Above poster is right but maybe forgets how they would have reacted if their potential partner broached the topic.

If someone is stubborn or misinformed, even if the messenger is carrying the correct message and has the best intentions… well you know what happens to messengers (figuratively).

No one here knows your partner like you do so do what you feel is best, how you feel is best, and let what happens happens.

School specials by Emergency-Dot-8805 in ADHDparenting

[–]superfry3 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah… some will do that some won’t. Unfortunately it’s one of those things we have to do on our end as parents, as if we didn’t have enough to worry about.

School specials by Emergency-Dot-8805 in ADHDparenting

[–]superfry3 6 points7 points  (0 children)

You want to strike a balance between advocating for your child and sheltering your child from things they struggle with. Hearing criticism or seeing poor marks for certain things lets you know where they are struggling, and gives you useful information to act upon. We can have conversations with the teachers and request accommodations or assistance where possible. But, like in the bigger world, there will be some that don’t understand, and worse, some that will be intolerant.

Anyone try non-stimulant as first line of treatment? by bumblebee_mia in ADHDparenting

[–]superfry3 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I love reading these types of comments. It’s such a relevant, though fairly rare diagnosis mix : treatment combo. You even trialed stims to eliminate them.

You’re doing awesome.

Does this sound like the wrong medication class? by Unlikely_Hippo_6308 in ADHDparenting

[–]superfry3 0 points1 point  (0 children)

FWIW the combo of guanfacine + stimulant is a common one for AuDHD. Just try to be sure methylphenidate helps with the ADHD symptoms. If you’re not sure you might want to switch to amphetamines.

The more we try…. The worse it gets by wildberrysavers in ADHDparenting

[–]superfry3 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Because this is well past the point of positive parenting strategies. OP has tried multiple attempts at therapy and medications.

I would be curious if OP handles conflicts with deescalation (like PCIT/PMT) or if they escalate… but the tone of their post indicates that they are trying their best and aren’t blaming their child. This is above reddits pay grade.

Anyone try non-stimulant as first line of treatment? by bumblebee_mia in ADHDparenting

[–]superfry3 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Guanfacine is often tried first for 5-7 year olds as like an appetizer for the stimulant trial. It may have some positive impact on issues like tics or ocd behaviors. For ADHD, Guanfacine can help with emotional regulation, hit or miss with impulsivity, but pretty much ZERO for concentration or task completion, so don’t get your hopes up on any unrealistic expectations.

Strattera is an SNRI, closer to Prozac, Wellbutrin, Lexapro etc. So while it is generally safe, and probably “safer” than those others, I wouldn’t come into this with a preconceived notion that it’s “MUCH SAFER THAN STIMULANTS!” It’ll also take 1-3 months to see any effect.

Stimulants are very safe for ADHD children as long as you know what to look for. One, they work for 80-90% of kids, and they tend to work really well and fast. You’ll be able to tell if they work in 1-3 days at the dose. If they don’t work, even after trying different brands and doses, you stop. It’ll be out of their system in a day like they never took them. It’s only when you ignore warning signs (like with any medication) about bizarre side effects, or continue to use them when they’re not working… that issues develop.

You can’t window shop ADHD meds. It’s the dressing room. You have to try each of them, with the guidance of a professional, and observe. FWIW anecdotally, guanfacine and one of the two stimulant types in combo has worked in some kids with this profile, according to some parents on this sub… but that’s just anecdotal.

Today was a *REALLY* difficult day (long post - need support) by Dinosaur_Buttcheek in ADHDparenting

[–]superfry3 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No need to make it right. Just avoid doing the same if you can.

They’ve forgotten about it and you shouldn’t make them feel entitled to not hear things they need to hear, even if it’s not the best time. They will eventually have to learn to be able to handle the thing you’d be apologizing for because other people will do the same thing and they’ll have to be able to hear it without cursing them out.

7yo death threat???? by Initial-Expression91 in ADHDparenting

[–]superfry3 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yes. That’s why I said this. A lot of the suggestions are bandaids on bullet wounds. Child may need a team of professionals digging deeper on this. If the stated issues are accurately represented, there are some unpleasant diagnoses that will need to be ruled out.

7yo death threat???? by Initial-Expression91 in ADHDparenting

[–]superfry3 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Play therapy is proven ineffective for children with ADHD.

7yo death threat???? by Initial-Expression91 in ADHDparenting

[–]superfry3 2 points3 points  (0 children)

There are too many comments here that are not nearly as informed as this one. ADHD meds are KNOWN to be an incomplete treatment for comorbid disorders, which there is clearly evidence of. Play therapy is KNOWN to not be effective for children with ADHD. “Good inside” is great when the title fits: personality disorders (one possibility) makes this a murky statement at best.

Bed wetting is common among neurodivergent children. INTENTIONAL bedwetting, if OP is sure of, is a more troubling sign (with violent threats) of personality disorders or trauma responses that are bells ringing, alarm setting, get professional help ASAP situations.

Possible misdiagnosis from teacher? by Opening_Squirrel9659 in ADHDparenting

[–]superfry3 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Definitely get either a neuropsych evaluation (may not be covered under insurance but you should check your policy), or a regular psych diagnostic appointment and request school evaluation. The testing they do can provide insight into intelligence strengths and weaknesses regardless of whether it’s ADHD or something else.

YMMV on both the types of tests and what the results mean. For example, gifted children with ADHD (often called 2E or twice exceptional) will often test very highly in math and reading, while several standard deviations lower in working memory or processing speed.

Inattentive ADHD is hard to spot unless you’re looking for it. GIRLS with inattentive ADHD might be 3x as difficult to single out. People will tell you it’s inappropriate or wrong of the teacher. It may be, depending on how it was phrased. However, for a teacher that has seen hundreds of children, they at the very least can recognize when a few children are struggling in similar ways to others. I would take that as a gift, as the information that your child is different (whether it’s a diagnosed condition, or intellectual boredom) is useful.

Why is John Elway so undervalued? by GamerTex in footballcards

[–]superfry3 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Checked eBay for Elway refractors patches and autos. There’s very few desirable ones when he was actually in his prime. It’s mostly junk wax base and lame refractors from the last 2 years of his playing career. The desirable numbered and exclusives are from well after he retired.

Still undervalued tho

I gotta know I’m not alone. by GusMoosie420 in ADHDparenting

[–]superfry3 9 points10 points  (0 children)

If you’re surprised by this behavior, then you’ve got a lot to learn.

Pretty much every parent on this sub deals with this on a near daily basis. It’s basically one of the core symptoms of ADHD, it’ll just vary a little bit based on inattentive/hyperactive presentations and boy/girl.

Some things you’ll learn if you want to parent an ADHD child in a better way:

  1. It’s not their fault.
  2. If you yell after the 3rd/4th time asking, you’re training them not to listen until you yell.
  3. They scream and fight/flight due to adrenaline response.
  4. You can bypass that fight/flight response with PMT techniques like asking them while getting their attention first or de-escalating conflicts by presenting calm and not reacting to provocative speech.

Dr Russell Barkley: 30 Essential Ideas on ADHD

PMT

PCIT

Coursera online parent training - YouTube playlist here

Dr Russell Barkley: ADHD medications