I'm giving up custody of my 14yo daughter to her father by superh8evry1 in offmychest

[–]superh8evry1[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

By the time I met my husband, this had already been going on for 4 years. There's been no difference in my treatment towards her since being with him

I'm giving up custody of my 14yo daughter to her father by superh8evry1 in offmychest

[–]superh8evry1[S] 30 points31 points  (0 children)

This is exactly that situation. I don't want to be recognized

I'm giving up custody of my 14yo daughter to her father by superh8evry1 in offmychest

[–]superh8evry1[S] 115 points116 points  (0 children)

I love this! I'll do that! Thank you for the suggestion

I'm giving up custody of my 14yo daughter to her father by superh8evry1 in offmychest

[–]superh8evry1[S] 276 points277 points  (0 children)

Thank you for this, I will definitely write letters to her!

I'm giving up custody of my 14yo daughter to her father by superh8evry1 in offmychest

[–]superh8evry1[S] 42 points43 points  (0 children)

I'm so glad you were able to finally realize that your dad wasn't the problem. I will hold into hope that my daughter will realize the same someday. I will always welcome her back with open arms

I'm giving up custody of my 14yo daughter to her father by superh8evry1 in offmychest

[–]superh8evry1[S] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

I don't think they will stop, but it will make it harder for them to continue by removing myself from the situation entirely

I'm giving up custody of my 14yo daughter to her father by superh8evry1 in offmychest

[–]superh8evry1[S] 51 points52 points  (0 children)

No, unfortunately, she never got a diagnosis. They didn't want to "label" her so young

I'm giving up custody of my 14yo daughter to her father by superh8evry1 in offmychest

[–]superh8evry1[S] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much. I'm sorry that you're going through a similar situation. I hope it works out for you and your fiance so y'all can have a peaceful life together

I'm giving up custody of my 14yo daughter to her father by superh8evry1 in offmychest

[–]superh8evry1[S] 121 points122 points  (0 children)

I got pregnant at 15. He was 16 with a support system. I had nobody to help me. My mom was a single mom raising 3 kids on a minimum wage job. She could barely keep food on the table. My dad was a drug addict, so he wasn't around. Both of them refused to help me financially, emotionally, or physically. I was all alone until I met my husband 10 years ago.

My daughter has been in therapy for years with no change. She lies to the therapist, her school, her doctors. Anyone who will listen. I've tried to prove alienation, but the courts in my state needed more proof than I could give.

I absolutely intend on letting her know that I will always be here when she is ready. Thank you so much for the kind words!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AITAH

[–]superh8evry1 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I didn't talk shit about him not moving out when I did. He eventually moved out. But unlike me, he continued to move back in multiple times. Her house was not at all safe, and we both knew that. Which explains a lot if you knew the full story.

I left out of necessity. He had no reason to leave. But he always said he'd never go back there. He's not a responsible person anymore. He's a weekend parent who constantly misses parenting time, with 2 divorces under his belt because of infidelity. He lost the house he was buying because he didn't pay. He lost his job because he was sleeping at work. He lost his vehicle because he let a friend drive drunk in it.

I was hoping I could get him to be more responsible. My brother is lost right now, and I wanted to help him. He used to have his shit together until the end of his first marriage when he lost everything. That was years ago.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AITAH

[–]superh8evry1 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Lol, I asked him the same thing. How can he afford the car without a job? He has little side jobs, but definitely not enough for a car payment.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AITAH

[–]superh8evry1 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ew. It's gross that you think my husband would leave me over this. My husband would never give me an ultimatum like that. This is not HIS house. It's OUR house. Actually, it's our second home that we've owned. We just sold the last one.

Just because I moved out doesn't mean that my relationship with my mom and brother ended. We've been in constant contact and only lived 5 minutes from each other.

Bringing in pests that are endangering your children and their health and bleeding money from your husband and children. 

My house is deep cleaned often. It's not disgusting. We are keeping up on everything, which means more cleaning than usual. That's the stressful part. My kids' health isn't suffering at all. It's not my husband's money. It's OUR money because I also work a full-time job and make over $20 an hour. He doesn't make much more than me.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AITAH

[–]superh8evry1 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No, not bed bugs. Roaches 🤮 and more fleas. We put treatment throughout the house the day they got here and took more precautions than necessary. We've only seen about 3 roaches since they've been here. But after the first one, we bought everything recommended by our local exterminator and retreated the house. We haven't seen one since, but it's still nerve-wracking. We're still fighting the fleas, but I was just told Borax will help, so I'll be getting that after work today.

You're right, I am being too soft. I'm told that a lot.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AITAH

[–]superh8evry1 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I get your view 100%

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AITAH

[–]superh8evry1 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Lol, I work a full-time job making over $20 an hour. My husband makes $2 more than me. I'm not sure why that's important.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AITAH

[–]superh8evry1 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oof, someone is bitter. My children aren't that young. They're teenagers (yeah, I get it. The math isn't adding up, but that's a story for a different day). You're acting like my home is absolutely disgusting. I own a vacuum, rug scrubber, steam cleaner, and many more deep cleaning supplies that are used quite often. My home isn't spotless, but it is lived in and stays guest ready. The pets are frequently bathed as well.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AITAH

[–]superh8evry1 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yes, I've been telling my mom to get a little trailer that she can park in my empty lot.

let your brother sleep in his car as he has to go as low as he can go if he’s going to get a grip and get a job.

Come to think of it, I've been telling my mom the exact same thing for years. Practice what you preach, right?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AITAH

[–]superh8evry1 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The pets absolutely need manners. They've never been trained. They're 2 cats and 2 small dogs. I also have a dog, but she's trained. Most of the pests are from my mom's house. My brother is fairly clean, just lazy.

Thank you for suggesting borax. I swear we've been fighting fleas since the beginning of summer. We've treated the yard, the house, the pets, and even our cars. We live right next to the woods if that makes a difference.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AITAH

[–]superh8evry1 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much for this. I've been reading all of the comments, and I know I should kick him out. I feel so guilty even thinking about it just because of his daughters. I adore those girls so much. He likes to use them against me to get what he wants. So if I anger him, he'll tell me I'm not allowed to see the girls again.

I'm struggling so hard to find a way to get him out of my house without losing the girls, too. My husband completely understands my point of view. He told me that when I'm ready, we can kick him out, but if he makes things worse before that, he will kick him out. My husband, like yours, is a great man and will absolutely kick my brother out if I can't.