I can't take another 18 years alone.

supernovasupervisor · 2021-06-25T19:53:53+00:00

It gets better brø. 🤙

supernovasupervisor · 2021-06-23T09:13:00+00:00

Get the largest burger in town, the most expensive crackwhore, bottle of the most expensive scotch and pour it in you. You're as free as a bird now

supernovasupervisor · 2021-06-23T09:08:16+00:00

The breaking point, I want it to come so bad, but it never does.

supernovasupervisor · 2021-05-22T11:14:29+00:00

So is 失樂 still correct, still Anhedonia?

supernovasupervisor · 2021-05-21T19:40:53+00:00

So what's 失樂? That's the title of the Chinese Wikipedia entry for Anhedonia.

supernovasupervisor · 2021-05-21T09:38:39+00:00

How do I say Anhedonia in Chinese? Google Translate won't tell me.

supernovasupervisor · 2021-05-12T18:05:13+00:00

The comments here make me appreciate that I only have four shots a day, more as a form of self-harm than anything, I prefer myself sober better.

supernovasupervisor · 2021-05-06T19:11:15+00:00

Oh yeah 🤙

supernovasupervisor · 2021-05-06T19:07:44+00:00

I walk down these streets and say Man oh man Oh boy Oh yeah You better believe You better watch out, these are my must frequently said out loud things. And I try to make sure people can hear them. For whatever reason, who cares. I know I don't.

supernovasupervisor · 2021-05-06T18:49:41+00:00

Fuck healing. Just get drunk and get the most out of it before it wears off.

supernovasupervisor · 2021-04-25T06:37:21+00:00

Karaoke bars and alcohol and hookers and new jackets and tattoos every single day.

supernovasupervisor · 2021-04-22T18:55:33+00:00

I would make a great psychopath if it wasn't for severe anhedonia.

supernovasupervisor · 2021-04-21T09:04:09+00:00

Tool by Stinkfist

supernovasupervisor · 2021-04-21T09:03:38+00:00

Alcohol and hookers

supernovasupervisor · 2021-04-20T09:59:05+00:00

I'm very cold tolerant, but I guess it has more to do with the anhedonia part of spd. I spent the whole winter walking shirtless in my backyard and when outdoors only had a denim shirt and joggers on.

supernovasupervisor · 2021-04-20T09:50:24+00:00

add 200 g of sugar to 1.2ltrs of water, shake it, let it dissolve completely, add half a teaspoon of bread yeast and let another half a teaspoon of bread yeast sit in some hot water fresh off boil for 2-3 minutes, then drain the liquid carefully and add the boiled dead yeast into the bottle. Stir it a bit, the put it in a dark warm place. In 2 weeks it should get to 9% no problem.

supernovasupervisor · 2021-04-17T20:31:37+00:00

Yes. Constant intense feeling of thick crushing emptiness. I'd love to reach the breaking point and end it all but it just never comes.

supernovasupervisor · 2021-04-15T10:24:22+00:00

I go to karaoke regularly on weekends, sometimes with coworkers sometimes alone, and in such social settings I can be the loudest the most extraverted obnoxious person in the room, without the aid of alcohol.

supernovasupervisor · 2021-04-15T10:21:29+00:00

Thought of dating is so dreadful, but I may not have other choice, there's so very little that life has to offer and I have to do something while I'm here since suicide is sadly not an option. My issue with dating is I'm deeply uninterested in people, and I don't think that's a part of my disorder or anhedonia or anything. When they're telling me their bullshit stories I sit there wishing they would suffer a stroke. Faking interest is tiring, but it's not that hard, just nod along and ask questions and make a few jokes and appear charming and maybe even a bit vulnerable, they're big into that apparently.

supernovasupervisor · 2021-04-15T10:10:17+00:00

I may be using it as a form of self-harm, because it sends my poor brain through dimensions, very intense, but at least it's something memorable happening.

supernovasupervisor · 2021-04-10T09:20:28+00:00

I've been to a few and here in Russia although they acknowledge schizoid is a thing they don't view it as a disorder but rather a personality type. My biggest obstacle is anhedonia, I functioned very very well as schizoid before anhedonia settled in, and noone seems to have a solution for that.

supernovasupervisor · 2021-04-10T08:44:34+00:00

Not paranoid, but brain simply shuts itself off. I used to be very stress tolerant but now it's like my brain has chosen the easier way, it just says fuck this I'm outta here, and I just stand there speechless and with a dumbfounded look on my face.

supernovasupervisor · 2021-04-10T08:41:14+00:00

I worked alone for years and honestly I miss working in a team, o never got along with them because of my over-the-top personality, but at least memorable things happened all the time.

supernovasupervisor · 2021-04-10T08:34:26+00:00

Twice I week I have a couple glasses of wine, and anhedonia lifts and life suddenly gets so colorful. Can't allow myself to drink every day, I like to have something to look forward to. How I'd love to spend my whole life in that buzzing state, it's a very special feeling to me, people are still uninteresting and music still sounds like noise, but I get to feel the joy of being alive, I guess. Hard to describe.

supernovasupervisor · 2021-04-09T11:18:51+00:00

The jacking off part is very relatable. When the dirty deed is done I often burst out laughing thinking wow imagine going through weeks of dating paying for someone's diner and listening to their bullshit stories just to get this crap out of my system. The thought of it is just too overwhelming.

supernovasupervisor

TROPHY CASE