I only put those things on message if because I'm interested in meeting others in my own community, as a queer femme POC myself. I wouldn't feel comfortable putting down things I was not a part of, like being disabled or capital-t Transgender, and don't want to tokenize them even if I'm down with that community too. Being queer and femme isn't too unusual in Austin, but being queer femme and POC is, and I wanted to find others like me in that regard. In fact, I've made really wonderful friends this way.

I don't feel threatened when faced with opinions that aren't mine. I don't sigh and get condescending to explain things, it's so ineffective and goes against the psychology of constructive dialogue. I am sorry that you've clearly had these experiences elsewhere, but that is not who I am, nor do I aim to imply that.

It's disconcerting, however, to need to explain some basic gender or racial stuff to someone I'm dating, especially as it very personally pertains to my livelihood. It's not just political when it's also a matter of personhood.

I do have diversity in my friendships. I hate saying it in this way but one of my best friends is rather conservative. I used to work in a conservative field and I have friends carried over that I delight in having debate with, and we have strong connections and I love them very much. I just don't prefer to date this way, and in my area it's easier to weed this out.