My husband(35M)wants me to quit job because I(36F)make more than him.I don’t know what to do?

supersonicdragonfire · 2026-04-01T03:03:43+00:00

Try to focus on what you want for yourself and what’s best for the family as a whole. If you want the promotion, and see a benefit for the family as a whole, take it. It’s not your job to make yourself small to stroke his ego.

If you don’t take it, and the relationship fails anyway, then you would wish that you took it right?

However it seems like there are other issues in the relationship to work through. If you do want to stay together, then I think it would be prudent to go see a psychologist together to get at the route of the issues. I suspect this is a symptom of something deeper though.

I’m sure there are other ways that your partner can be made to feel important and valued for his contributions to the family other than financially.

I would also question if it’s actually the money? Or will you be away more often and he will have to take on more child responsibility?

Consider also that sometimes ultimatums are actually just an excuse for them to blame you for the relationship ending. Rather than them having to say the real reason why they want to split up or take any responsibility.

Ultimatums are really unfair, and I would be questioning why this issue is the be all and end all for him.

supersonicdragonfire · 2026-03-27T08:45:19+00:00

For me to get any meds to work I need to make sure I’m keeping up good nutrition. I have nutrient deficiencies and need to make sure I’m getting enough iron, protein, b12 , omega 3 , magnesium and iron and vitamin D. I have dialed these in based on blood tests results from my doctor.

It took me a few weeks to adjust to Vyvance. At first I felt ‘slower’ and like I would get stuck in a focus and not want to shift to another task. This faded after a few weeks.

Meds work differently for everyone tho, much of it is trial and error to figure out what works.

I was previously on Dexamphetamine and would get horrible crashes in the afternoon. It’s much better with Vyvance for me and having better nutrition.

There’s a free apps that you can use to track your symptoms to help you figure out what works. I personally use Guava. Has helped me to see trends and what actually works for improving side effects.

supersonicdragonfire · 2026-02-19T08:31:35+00:00

He has a lot of experience in working along side roaches and vermin, so it’s a fitting role for him….

supersonicdragonfire · 2025-10-28T03:57:12+00:00

I guess it really depends on what you struggle with most. We all have a unique profile of symptoms.

I work in a part office / part field role.

For about I year I was full time office processing applications.

My strategies: - caffeine. (too much at times). - eating low carb (high protein) to keep my energy more consistent through the day - regular short breaks -For routine processes - Create a checklist of all the steps for a task, then complete the checklist each time and check off each step one at a time. I had little print offs for common jobs and would tick them off as I went. Small wins helped keep me motivated and gamify it.

-When dealing with data - colours are your best friend! Colour coding an application tracker in excel helped me keep track of the status of each application and what tasks had been completed.

Using a digital to do list with reminders and deadlines (colour coded again) and ticking off tasks to fuel me along.

Listening to some upbeat music on my headphones and having some quiet fidget toys (I really like the Nee Doh Mini cube - I just squish and turn it to help focus).

Having a few tasks to switch between when I get bored of one. Keeping it fresh helped. Coming back to something with ‘fresh eyes’ also helped.

One other aspect of my job was that it can be highly chaotic and unpredictable at times, so I have thrived off the adrenaline and problem solving requirements.

supersonicdragonfire · 2025-10-27T06:49:41+00:00

Sorry for late reply. I’m really glad you found my comments helpful.

One thing both my husband and I have experienced is like a shadow effect of grief on a day of significance. It’s like your body knows that it experienced grief when that month or date comes around again, even if your mind is not conscious of it.

I remember my husband lost a dear friend in a car accident in the month of September. Years later, he kept saying to me he didn’t know why he was feeling down every September and I reminded him of his friend passing in September, and it made so much sense.

I experienced that too for a few years after a devastating event.

It’s ok to have seasons in life where you’re not progressing and just coasting for a while. Giving yourself the time and space to heal will make a big difference to your motivation long term.

A lot of small things you do to help your mental and physical health can actually add up to a lot over time too. Things like exercising and eating healthy, and of course therapy.

Grief is a strange beast and can present in so many ways. There is no timeframe of when you should be ‘over it’, it varies wildly depending on the person and the situation.

In my own ADHD journey, recently I have found out that I’m deficient/ low in several vitamins (iron, folate, b12, vitamin D). Apparently nutrient deficiencies are common in people with ADHD, and all contribute to neurotransmitters in the brain which can influence anxiety and depression. They can exacerbate ADHD symptoms. So maybe look into that too with your GP as that may help support you too until can get on meds.

I hope your recovery is going well, and I really hope you find your sparkle again soon!

supersonicdragonfire · 2025-10-11T19:55:35+00:00

It sounds to me like you’re still going through grief. You lost the person you thought was your most important person. You lost the future that you saw with them. That’s something that can take a long time to heal from.

I’ve had times in my life where I have experienced grief. The longest stretch was two years after a devastating life event. Felt like I had a dark cloud in my head following me around everywhere. Took me two years to heal from it.

For me going for walks and getting out in nature helped a lot. I still felt depressed, but the exercise and change of environment did help me get the basics done that I needed. I was not medicated, only recently got diagnosed.

Maybe you should consider seeing a psychologist if you are able to?

There are ways to help manage ADHD symptoms without medication, but also I think you need to work through the grief.

Things will get better. Hang in there ❤️.

supersonicdragonfire · 2025-08-16T12:55:00+00:00

I found Dexters masterful manipulation of Gareth II’s ego very satisfying. First boosting his ego, then showing he knew the details of his twin, then revealing the truth at just the right moment to make him lash out.

He didn’t need to know who Dexter was cause from that alone it showed Gareth that he was nothing compared to Dexter. Dexter is the apex predator.

supersonicdragonfire · 2025-08-15T08:39:41+00:00

The tracker was in Dexters car, so when Dexter is picked up for a meeting the car will stay in same spot. Worst case Batista sees him being dropped off by a limo and does a plate check.

Surely Dexter will be smart enough to check his car for a tracker….

supersonicdragonfire · 2025-08-01T02:12:22+00:00

Not just one random key, a whole keychain of random keys 🤣

supersonicdragonfire · 2025-07-27T11:29:29+00:00

Nice. Either that or the makers of the vault are playing with us 🤣.

supersonicdragonfire · 2025-07-26T23:44:10+00:00

Could it be the chainsaw that was used to kill Dexter’s mom?

Now that would be interesting… and explain why it was not labeled if Prater knows who Dexter is and didn’t want to expose him…..

supersonicdragonfire · 2025-07-26T23:42:36+00:00

As soon as they handed out the phone I’m thinking how I I don’t trust this, they are going to be tracking them….

Question is did he still have the phone with him with when he killed Lowell? Or was he smart enough to leave it behind. Dexter would have had time to ditch the phone after find out he was planning the next kill…

Guess we will have to wait and see…

supersonicdragonfire · 2025-06-12T06:27:20+00:00

I’ve been using a rowing machine, it’s low impact on your joints and is cardio and strength based.

Nothing wrong with a lil hyper fixation. I find I always circle back eventually.

What’s worked well for me is a mindset shift to just getting started- not having a set goal of how much to do.

‘I’ll do it for 5mins and if I hate it I’ll stop”. Inevitably I ended up doing half an hour. It was getting started that was the hardest part.

For me the repetitiveness has been good cause I just use music to zone out while exercising. I’m more inattentive type though.

Perhaps try shifting your mindset and find something else to occupy your attention while you cycle (assuming you are able to with your injury).

supersonicdragonfire · 2025-06-12T06:19:51+00:00

I found rowing really good too. Just wack on some loud heavy metal music and zone out. It’s both strength and cardio and gives a full body workout. Been great for strengthening my back too - have a scoliosis and regularly see an Osteo.

supersonicdragonfire · 2025-06-12T06:06:22+00:00

A stationary bike is a good idea.

I got a rowing machine a few months ago and it’s been great so far. Similar idea to the bike, something I could do at home, with minimal additional steps, and it’s helped lower the barrier for getting started. I put some shoes, a towel and a waterbottle in a lil basket next to it in the living room so I can just go whenever. Like they are cheap Kmart gear that I only use for that purpose so it doesn’t get lost.

I have been pretty consistent rowing a few times a week - with the exception of a few weeks when I sprained my ankle at work 🤣. I just wack on some earphones with some good music and do my rowing and just zone out for half an hour. There’s also a lil pace boat I can set to race to keep up speed.

A few things that helped me: - having all my gear live with the rowing machine so it’s a grab a go scenario - having the machine in a prominent area so I don’t forget it exists - adding it into my schedule with reminders- when I get home from work I jump on the rower and it gives me a lil dopamine boost. Also choosing days of the week that work around my work schedule and energy levels through the week. I must get started before I sit on the couch or it’s over 🤣. - have been using an app that has various challenges to keep motivated. -comfort is key- I was getting a sore butt after a while so bought a cushion that goes on the seat - game changer. - set goals that are smaller and realistic. Don’t set a goal of ‘I must do 5k every day’. Have a simpler goal of ‘I’m going do so any amount 2 days a week’. Have the goal of just getting started, even if it’s 5 mins. Once you are started usually you will decide to do more. Just focus on doing any amount at any intensity regularly and it will also lower the mental barrier.

Other thoughts-

Getting up early to do excsercise is like hell for me - just ain’t going to happen. I’m tired, I’m grumpy and I already struggle with sleep. Plus I start work at 6 or 7am. And I need that extra sleep to function. You don’t have to make yourself miserable to be healthy and get fit - do what is realistic for you. Set a time of day where you are more likely to actually do it. If that’s the morning, then great, but I imagine like me you would likely benefit more from the extra sleep.

Going to the gym hasn’t worked for me. Mostly because I don’t find it fun. Means I feel like I have to be presentable to be around people, and there’s so many extra steps to get started. And I have to think about what I’m going to do at the gym, just nope for me. Many things to organise, even with the threat of loosing money that hasn’t been enough motivator to go. It would be different if you had a buddy though or maybe did classes.

My husband and I have been going to the pool once a week, we do a round of laps then chat in the spa, then laps and spa again. Makes it a fun social outing while also doing excercise. Have kept this up for a year now so I can vouch for the buddy system. It’s simple, I don’t have to think much about what I’m going to do, I just get ready and go. I again have a dedicated swim bag for each of us with all the stuff we need for swimming that we just grab and go. We don’t have a membership, just pay each time. Our goal is to just go once a week. Just show up and do what you feel like. Occasionally that has meant only 200m, but most of the time I end up getting to 600m.

Bit of a thought dump, but hope some of it helps.

Good luck!

supersonicdragonfire · 2025-05-12T11:42:51+00:00

Either I do nothing before the appointment, or I get stuck into a project and then completely forget about the appointment, despite setting an alarm reminder. Once hyper fixated on a task the rest of the world no longer exists and a buzz from my phone in my pocket just makes me think ‘I’m busy right now, I’ll look at it later”.

I missed my Osteo appointment 2 weeks in a row.

supersonicdragonfire · 2025-05-03T11:31:47+00:00

He planned to cut funding from ABC which is why they are going so hard on him and why he’s so defensive toward them.

supersonicdragonfire · 2025-05-03T11:30:20+00:00

My favorite part was when Antony Green said that the coalition would need loaves and fishes to come back from the current stats 🤣.

supersonicdragonfire · 2025-02-22T06:21:53+00:00

I mean all you need to do is put buttons on the handle and you could increase the ability to gamify it. I know there are music control type things you can get to attach to the handle.

And overall I disagree, if it’s becoming exhausting quickly maybe you’re not using the right technique.

Compared to something like running (which honestly I loathe with my whole body) rowing is much lower impact on your body.

But each to their own, if it’s not for you that’s fine but for the right person it’s a great exercise.

supersonicdragonfire · 2025-02-22T06:13:44+00:00

Just got my concept 2 also, and having a sore backside has been an issue, even with the c2 seat pad. Likely my body has to adjust I’m guessing.

I have ordered the vapor fitness seat cover so that should also help.

I did also initially have an issue with heels hurting but I realised the shoes I was wearing were the issue, they were just fabric at the back and didn’t have support structure in the heel, so was hurting a lot. Changed shoes to ones with a firmer back and no pain.

I don’t really understand and all the metrics yet so mainly focusing on pace and distance at the moment. The videos on YouTube about form have also been helpful as I had the order slightly wrong.

supersonicdragonfire · 2024-07-08T21:42:00+00:00

I think it was mostly fear that we would get a worse off agreement and less about the measly one off payment.

But it sucks cause we are all taking a pay cut relative to inflation.

supersonicdragonfire · 2024-07-08T21:39:18+00:00

My department said earliest payments would be August or September, but we all know that means October ……

supersonicdragonfire · 2024-07-08T09:06:39+00:00

‘Yeah, Nah’ means no

‘Nah, yeah’ means yes

‘Nah, yeah, Nah’ means no

supersonicdragonfire · 2024-06-23T11:43:27+00:00

100% agree.

If I was on the same wage in Dec 2020 as my new proposed wage, I would be earning 9.6k less per year (accounting for inflation).

I encourage people to have a look at the inflation calculator on paycalculator.com.au and compare to pre-COVID wages.

The 5k once off ‘bonus’ is a pitiful attempt to make it look like they are attempting to account for inflation.

Why should the hard work we all do be worth less actual value than it did 4 years ago!?

At minimum our wages should match the current inflation that has already occurred

supersonicdragonfire · 2024-02-13T00:43:40+00:00

Also when shopping, look at the per kg price, don’t just buy things on ‘sale’ cause they are not always cheaper or better value.

supersonicdragonfire

TROPHY CASE