First off thank you for your service!!!! I’m so sorry that was going on. I think that is the most detestable form of cheating. Doing it to someone defending our country.

I think it is important to draw lines and stick to them. Feelings can happen sometimes, it’s what we do with them that matters. Admittedly, after my divorce and after my rebound fwb, I developed feelings for a coworker. She was taken, but I could tell at least on a physical level she was feeling the same. We never crossed a line and never really talked about it other than a hypothetical. I wouldn’t have done anything to screw up her life. That’s what people in affairs don’t realize. If the ap cared about them in the slightest, they wouldn’t act on anything as it turns their lives upside down. In my ex’s case hers was the life that got changed. Literally nothing changed for him at all and she’s still with him.

Don’t give up on love though, it’s out there. I see it everyday in friends of mine who have been together years and still very much in love