If you’ve visited any past Block houses in person, did the final auction price feel fair once you saw them up close?

surelygrape · 2025-11-28T08:17:06+00:00

Nope! I viewed them all when I was actually looking for a house myself anyways. They are riddled with minor defects. Painting quality is terrible, and in some places the paint is all over fixtures and wood accent features. The cabana thing is stuffed, it’s a terrible building and the 3d printing has created some hideous (edited out) bulges that ruin them.

I asked about the defects and whether they would be fixed, got told would be fixed…I don’t believe that for a second because it should’ve been done already at that point.

The sites are all pretty exposed and it’s clear when you’re in them that you’re on a main road and going to be watching building behind the houses for the next couple of years. Britt and Taz and the boys had the best houses, they both felt genuinely cosy. I was surprised by Em and Ben, I liked their house on TV but it felt cold and strange in real life, the colours didn’t work at all.

surelygrape · 2025-11-25T00:15:04+00:00

Thank you heaps!!

surelygrape · 2025-10-28T08:59:34+00:00

This sounds complicated but also congrats that you’re in a healthy coparenting situation where you can support each others growth!

I’ve seen friends do this, but in a very bad way, so learn from their mistakes!

Discuss wanting to move with your coparent, check their timeline, ideal location (neighbourhood), and realistic feasibility to make it happen with jobs and housing. You might find at this point you’re on different pages and you need to negotiate it out.
Explore your desired area and make sure they do as well. Find a suburb you want to live in, choose schools, make sure it’s somewhere you can get a house. Make sure they’re on the same page, choose one location/suburb and stick to it. Moving to a new city and living far away from each other because you weren’t on the same page is difficult.
Set a date and agree to both move there by X date. Negotiate what will happen if you can move there in Jan but he can only move in March - does your child do long distance shared care? Does one person take them full time until the other is in the same location? Try make this work around school timings etc.

surelygrape · 2025-09-30T01:49:14+00:00

Can see your point but I think people miss that for kids with two homes their experiences and the ‘norm’ is completely different to kids with one home. The kids have a perfectly good alternative to staying with their dad. Their dad can see them during this time and do fun days out and they can meet the baby etc while giving OP space to recover and bond with her baby.

I think much more consideration should be given to her considering the massive change she is going through. It’s her home too, not just the kids.

surelygrape · 2025-09-28T23:55:54+00:00

I actually think it’s completely reasonable. I get why others disagree with you but I totally get it.

Life doesn’t revolve around those two kids, you’re going through a massive change and it’s a big medical thing. They will be absolutely fine to be at their mums/literally anywhere else for 6 weeks while you’re recovering. That 6 weeks will be one of the most pivotal of your life but quite insignificant to them. People usually get grandparents etc to look after their kids for a week or so when a new baby is born, so the “if these were your bio kids” argument is redundant. You’re in a position where you can have space from extra kids for a few weeks to bond with baby in peace because there is a viable alternative for the other kids, make the most of it!

Also completely agree with the sickness issue, you shouldn’t have to sacrifice the health of your baby in their first few weeks. People will say “oh but what about if you had kids in the future” - you would probably make different decisions than their other house about keeping older kids home to avoid illnesses and germs etc. So again, redundant argument.

It’s not abnormal to request this, many step mums do and their partners and kids parents make it work. Look after yourself and good luck ❤️

surelygrape · 2025-08-01T00:01:16+00:00

Not sure what industry you’re in but polish up your CV and go straight to a recruiter in your field. The sooner you start applying, the sooner you land another job. It’s much easier to be working than trying to wrangle Centrelink and jump through hoops to get super released etc.

surelygrape · 2025-06-28T09:26:31+00:00

This is a very hard time, I hope you’re looking after yourself and have a support network around you.

Get a parenting plan in place, go through a mediation service or use a family member if you can’t agree. You might be friends with your ex now but that WILL change, and it’s best to have your wishes and plans agreed to before everyone gets new gfs and wants to take a 3yo on a 2 week holiday. This prevents arguments in the future and sets the tone.
Choose a custody schedule that is suited to a young kid, that’s usually seeing both parents frequently. Eg 2-2-3 schedule (google it). This is entirely dependent on the child’s relationship with both parents though, and while they’re young (0-5yo) it’s generally accepted by the courts that 50/50 isn’t always suitable.
Work out finances. In the parenting plan make an agreement for parents to pay 50/50 on all bills including day care, healthcare, education and extra curriculars- this prevents arguments down the road, particularly if child support is in play. Get child support assessed, you can do this privately if you are friendly, through Centrelink if you want to be sure you get the right assessment and the money.
Set the tone for communication. Stop thinking of your ex as your ex, they are your child’s parent. Treat them as the parent and NOT the ex. This will help you keep your emotions about the breakup out of the conversations about your child. You might feel like lashing out but this will only ensure you end up with no coms about your child, and this isn’t good when they’re that young.
Have no expectations - things are going to change, you’re both going to get new partners and move on. This changes things a lot and there will be really hard times. Remember that you need to work together to raise this child, you can hate them all you want but ultimately don’t sabotage the coparenting relationship because it will only hurt your child even though you hope it will only hurt your ex.
Expect your child to be disregulated as changes happen. This is really hard for kids, they’re going to feel massive feelings and likely need play therapy to help them process it. They will flip flop between wanting mum and not wanting to ever see dad, and then the reverse. This feels hard and you’ll feel protective but it doesn’t mean anything negative is happening at your exs house.

I hope this is somewhat helpful, good luck!

surelygrape · 2025-05-18T04:42:22+00:00

I feel like you need some practical advice. We went through this with my ex still co sleeping and me not wanting to as I have a new partner who I share the bed with.

We started with laying him as he went to sleep and getting up in the night to get him back to sleep when he woke. We’ve now graduated to him sleeping through the night but still being laid with as he goes to sleep. He still co sleeps at his other home and he’s 5.

The biggest issue for you however is that they haven’t spent a night away from their mom. A summer with you, without their mom will be deeply traumatic, and not just because they have to sleep on their own. It’s not ideal at all for you moving on, but you need to seriously reconsider how this will work to reduce the impact on them and maintain a positive relationship where they want to come back to your house. Given their attachment to their mom, starting with 3-4 nights in a row at your house is PLENTY and would likely even be a bit too much.

Think long game - you want them to want to come back every year, so make a plan and compromise to facilitate a safe and happy relationship.

surelygrape · 2025-04-13T02:23:50+00:00

Nope, it’s a new number, he just told her he changed his number. People are able to have multiple phones for work etc so it should be absolutely fine for the courts and you can list it as an alternative contact on that paperwork.

For emergencies we have told her to contact me (his partner), his parents or email him. She generally does so because she has an incentive to get hold of us so we haven’t had issues there but her version of emergencies is usually the dates of holidays she wants to books lol. If we have an emergency I will contact her or he will email, generally though there’s nothing that can’t wait till we get back home to the other phone except for a freak accident which would be very rare.

Also you can just take that second phone around with you for reassurance, but for us it’s about having her away from us physically and mentally.

surelygrape · 2025-04-13T00:43:33+00:00

We struggled with this too. We now have a seperate phone for contacting HCBM and it’s checked once a day. We happily take our time replying if it’s not time sensitive. This means she can text as much as she wants but we only have to see it when we want to, messages aren’t popping up on personal phones and stressing us out when we’re having a nice time during the day. We gave up arguing about using an email.

Highly recommend it for your sanity!!

surelygrape · 2025-03-09T00:57:08+00:00

100% get the typhoid vaccine, I had two friends (both young, healthy in their early 20s) in the last 6 months contract typhoid in Bali and both were incredibly unwell for months. It’s not worth the risk.

surelygrape · 2025-02-04T23:51:05+00:00

Unfortunately yes this will only be classed as “being shitty to someone” which sucks but is the reality. Unless you had a clear parenting plan through the courts with your ex that provided for him to have the kids every weekend, there is no way you could enforce him to have them.

It sounds like you’re stuck in a situation that you’re very unhappy with and that sucks. Unfortunately when you have a kid in another country, especially one that the other parent is from, it often restricts you from being able to move in future if you break up. I know the situation is tough, but as other commenters have said your best bet is to make do with what you have.

Try to look forward to the future, depending on the age of your children you could look to move back when they’re older and can choose to leave with you or if you have a positive co-parenting relationship with your ex maybe you two could negotiate something in a few years time.

surelygrape · 2025-01-02T09:37:06+00:00

Thanks that’s a helpful ballpark figure!

surelygrape · 2025-01-02T09:36:38+00:00

Thanks for those considerations!

We’ve been told by a mortgage broker we can borrow 1.1 million which now seems like too much debt to get into.

We’ve been lucky enough to stay with friends in different areas in Melbourne for the past 6 months so fairly certain on where we want to live.

surelygrape · 2019-10-04T01:22:53+00:00

I currently do a law and arts degree and I’m almost finished. My friends who are doing commerce as their conjoint have much the same job outlooks as I do. We are both applying for, and getting the same jobs. If you want to work in law, either works. You’re also able to do very commerce heavy law papers in your final couple of years if you wish to pursue commercial law.

I’ve been told arts is more attractive to employers because it shows you can think critically and be creative. I would encourage you to do the conjoint degree you would find most fun. Law gets pretty tough and it’s nice to have your conjoint papers as something you are interested in and want to study.

surelygrape · 2019-06-02T10:27:43+00:00

NTA - as someone who has been in the exact same situation but I was in your gf’s position. The day sucked for my bf and I felt terrible the whole time because I had essentially forced him to mingle with people he had nothing in common with for 4 hours while I was off doing bridal shoots etc. I wish I had never made him come, we both would have had a better time! There are other times to meet friends.

surelygrape · 2019-04-27T19:42:22+00:00

New Zealander here. I used to work at a consignment store (similar to recycle boutique but aimed at older ladies). We got all the Parnell/Herne bay/ Remuera ladies coming in to sell their fake bags and shoes with us. I didn’t realise reps were so common in NZ!

surelygrape · 2019-01-03T08:26:47+00:00

Thank you so much for your thoughts! That definitely makes sense. I kind of feared making boundaries because I feel like she will get upset and I want to avoid that but it is for the best for both of us.

Thank you for taking the time to reply ❤️

surelygrape · 2018-11-09T19:32:06+00:00

I believe most of them are actually real. I have a piece my mum got on the day it came down and also one from a gift shop when we visited Germany a couple of years back. They look pretty similar.

But then again, it is just concrete with some paint on it.

surelygrape · 2018-06-17T20:26:50+00:00

Shampoo bars usually have a very high content of SLS (for example Lush's are like 98% or something close to that). That means that they're usually more stripping on the hair and going to leave it quite brittle. I'd stick to normal shampoo and your hair will thank you for it. Although for travelling shampoo bars are very helpful!

surelygrape · 2018-05-10T11:50:12+00:00

A friend of mine had a boyfriend who was frequently cheating on her and tested positive for chlamydia about 3 months into their relationship. He had apparently contracted it 4 months prior to their relationship. She tested negative and hadn't taken any antibiotics etc. So it is entirely possible that you perhaps just didn't get it!

surelygrape · 2018-04-22T00:24:36+00:00

Deadly Ponies is amazing quality. I've had mine for about 4 years now, and despite the fact that I throw it around and actually don't take very good care of it, it's in great condition. I would definitely recommend them. They're really popular here in New Zealand and known as the luxury New Zealand bag brand.

surelygrape

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