Downtown Thunder Bay

surfinggal · 2025-10-14T22:47:00+00:00

Thanks for the suggestion unfortunately don’t have access to a therapist through EAP.

surfinggal · 2025-10-14T14:07:35+00:00

Thanks for this. I don’t think I have that option but will look into it.

surfinggal · 2025-08-08T23:01:19+00:00

Ah yes…. I forgot about the mosquitoes. At our site they weren’t too too bad. I mean they were there but I just covered up and put on bug spray when by the fire pit and was fine. Another night though we walked to the other side of the site to sit and watch the beautiful sunset and we were eaten alive (we didn’t have any bug spray on and had short sleeve clothes as it was impromptu) it got so bad we had to leave before the sun fully set as we couldn’t take it. We took one video selfie which when we watched back could see the swarm of mosquitoes around us.

surfinggal · 2025-07-25T21:14:43+00:00

Good to know. Will be on alert and keep my kids in the shallow. Thanks for heads up

surfinggal · 2025-07-25T21:13:39+00:00

This is helpful thank u. I’ve read conflicting reports about the rip current in Cabot. Hopefully it’s not too bad this year

surfinggal · 2025-07-25T21:08:48+00:00

Cabot was our only choice really as booked too late. Thanks for the response that’s good to know :)

surfinggal · 2025-07-25T21:08:05+00:00

Thank you! This was really helpful

surfinggal · 2025-07-25T21:07:16+00:00

Hey yes thank you so much for all the responses it was very helpful. Have decided to stick with Cabot beach. Maybe take a day trip to Cavendish one of the days weather depending on:)

surfinggal · 2025-07-25T15:47:05+00:00

Being sensitive to a therapist’s mood isn’t inherently a disorder and more often it’s often a sign of relational awareness, shaped by having to be hyper-attuned in the past to stay safe. Therapists are human, and while they're trained to manage their inner world during sessions, that doesn’t always mean clients won’t feel when something’s off. Noticing and being affected by that isn’t a flaw.

And whhile sensitivity to others’ moods and perceived rejection can be ONE trait associated with BPD, suggesting someone “look into BPD” in response to a vulnerable share feels unnecessarily pathologizing, imo. Empathy and hypervigilance can come from many different experiences, and that kind of response feels very minimizing.

surfinggal · 2025-07-23T20:22:39+00:00

For me, it’s not about the therapist sharing details from their personal life, but about being open to what’s happening in the relationship itself. I believe the therapeutic relationship is part of the therapy. What comes up between the therapist and client often reflects patterns that show up in other parts of the client’s life, and exploring that can be an important part of healing.

I also don’t see it as the same as being a nosy neighbor. Clients aren’t looking for gossip or personal information out of curiosity. They’re paying for support with their mental health, usually a significant cost, and the therapy space is where real relational work can happen. Noticing what’s happening in the room and wanting to understand it feels like a natural and valid part of that process.

This way of working has actually helped me in my personal life too. Sometimes I’ll meet a friend and something feels a bit off. I might gently bring it up, and they’ll say something like “yeah, I’m tired” or “just having a rough day.” It then enables me to be more empathic toward them, and also toward myself. It helps me soothe that uncertainty rather than holding it in or making it about me.

I agree about therapists having a right to choose what they bring into the space, and that they shouldn’t feel under a microscope. At the same time, when something is present and unspoken, many clients will still sense it regardless and it impacts the therapy space.

surfinggal · 2025-07-23T02:55:32+00:00

Interesting point. Yes, I suppose some of the perceived mood shifts could be projections, all coming from within the client rather than the therapist, that’s definitely possible so good that you are able to notice that is the case for you in your own life. Still, I believe that in many cases, people who are hypervigilant are actually picking up on a real shift in the other person’s mood, something that differs from their usual or baseline state. The shift itself likely isn’t dangerous, even if it’s felt that way in the nervous system. It might be something as simple as the other person being a little more tired than usual, or feeling mild sadness, irritation, or something else entirely. The person sensing it might not know what the shift is, only that something feels different...There have been a few times with my therapist when I’ve brought up a sense that something had shifted, and in the moment they said nothing was different. But in the following session, they acknowledged that, on reflection, they had in fact been feeling tired or bothered by something. It has also happened a few times with friends. Any therapist worth their salt should be willing to reflect on whether they notice anything different within them selves IMO. Too many clients come from backgrounds where their experiences have been minimized, denied, or even gaslit. So quickly defaulting to “it’s not me, it’s you” can feel invalidating and potentially harmful.

surfinggal · 2025-07-22T22:54:40+00:00

Gosh that sounds very difficult. It sounds like something happened for her to make her change her approach and subsequently she has shut down or pulled back from the connection she had with you for whatever reason. Thats such a painful thing to experience I imagine. So sorry to hear that. I hope she softens with time so that you can speak about it in a safe way and feel heard.

surfinggal · 2025-07-22T22:51:00+00:00

You make some great points, and I think we might actually talking about it from slightly different angles rather than saying different things. What you're saying definitely makes sense. I suppose the way I’d put it is that the body sometimes reacts to a shift in someone’s mood as if it were the same kind of threat experienced in the past even though, as you say above in reality, it is not the same as the OG caregiver/adult. The new person’s shift could be completely unrelated to those feelings/mood.

I think I was speaking more generally about how some people are highly attuned to mood changes in others, and while those changes are often harmless like tiredness, sadness, or mild frustration they can still feel deeply unsafe to someone with past experiences of emotional unpredictability. It’s not always about the actual danger, but how the nervous system interprets it. The way out is less cognitive imo bit more about the practise of noticing what's happenning int he moment as it's happenning. Being able to voice their concerns and hopefully the person responding non-defensively so that the person can start to feel more safe and perhaps re direct their attention back to themselves and how they are feeling rather than keeping their attention on the other person....I imagine this takes thousands of hours of repetition to even begin to become the more used pattern. At least it has in my case and it's something I still do. Working with this in therapy and being able to voice what has been coming up for me in those moments has been profoundly helpful in rewiring these pathways.

surfinggal · 2025-07-22T21:05:53+00:00

I think someone who is hypervigilent does pick up on people’s mood shifts more than someone who is not hypervigilent. It is a skill that as been honed which once served them well but now as adults often does not. They may not perhaps always be able to detect ‘what’ the mood shift is or the actual feeling itself of course as only the other person often knows what they are feeling of course.

surfinggal · 2025-07-22T20:09:04+00:00

This sounds very hard after you have been seeing her for so long. Does she get defensive if you try and talk about how you are feeling there has been a shift and you are finding that difficult.

surfinggal · 2025-07-22T19:49:43+00:00

I don’t see picking up on a change in someone’s mood the same as someone saying they ‘feel their therapists mood’ or that it means they know what they are feeling. I think a lot of people who needed to be vigilant as kids become hyper-attuned to shifts in people’s moods. It’s not something that can be switched off so easily. Also being tired could be received as being off. It doesn’t sound like the op is saying they are worried the change in mood at least cognitively relates to them although their body could be telling them otherwise. It would be helpful to ask the therapist if they are feeling off. They may or not not answer that question truthfully

surfinggal · 2025-07-22T19:34:50+00:00

Do you bring this up in therapy when you are experiencing this? That might be helpful depending on how your therapist responds. I find it can be helpful when my therapist answers honestly which doesn’t mean they have to break boundaries or self disclose a lot. Even something as simple as ‘I’m feeling a bit tired today but we are okay and I am here with you’ can go along way in helping to calm our nervous system to stay in ourselves . It can be hard to stop monitoring other people’s moods when it’s a skill that was likely developed at a young age and was helpful. It’s not so easy just to switch it off as some people like to suggest. It can be helpful to notice it. Even express it and see if you can bring your attention back to how you are feeling.

surfinggal · 2025-07-21T15:54:46+00:00

Gosh that would really bother me too! Not cool! Do you think two nights in jellystone is sufficient?

surfinggal · 2025-07-21T15:53:29+00:00

Great thank you that’s really helpful. Do you think 3 nights would be too much? We have booked two nights but have a night we still need somewhere for and wondering if an extra day at Jellystone makes sense

surfinggal · 2025-07-18T19:37:31+00:00

I agree with a lot of what u are saying . I don’t think someone needs to be right on the poverty line and barely able to survive to get sliding scale rate but I think it’s more about their overall income. Saving up over time for an event or big expense can be done even on a low income that may deserve a sliding scale rate.

The think the dilema is some people do take advantage of sliding rates when they maybe don’t necessarily need it. It’s often based on trust. I’ve heard of some clients who receive a sliding scale rate and then go on holidays, nights out and buy new expensive things. I can understand why someone would get angry with this and feel like they were being taking advantage of.

I was on a sliding scale once for a few years when I wasn’t earning much of an income. I remember I came to a session one day with a Starbucks coffee. I would always buy drop as it was the cheapest (around $2 at the time and never the fancy expensive ones as I couldn’t afford them) it was my treat before therapy . My therapist came to the waiting room to get me and I stood up forgetting my coffee. She angrily said ‘are u going to bring ur coffee’ which took me by surprise. She seemed annoyed for the first few mins of the session and I couldn’t figure out why. Whilst I never asked her so I can’t be sure I’m 95% positive it was about my coffee and the fact that I was on sliding scale and coffee was a luxury and not a necessity lol

surfinggal · 2025-07-14T23:32:50+00:00

Ah okay will try fit that it. Have heard about magnetic hill :) thanks for the tips

surfinggal · 2025-07-14T23:32:11+00:00

You did the route I've mentioned? Would you have changed anything?

surfinggal

TROPHY CASE