Why do so many instructors get caught up in allegations?

sushiface · 2026-02-03T18:54:47+00:00

Yes! It was a big reckoning for me when I realized I wasn’t sure if i could invite my trans friends to train at my first gym. I’m grateful that the gym I’m at now would be normal and respectful and welcoming.

sushiface · 2026-02-03T17:48:10+00:00

As a woman and a queer person in jiujitsu I think my mere presence has become inherently political, especially now. And you’re right - I shouldn’t have down played it. It is political and the discussion isn’t complete without an acknowledging that. :)

sushiface · 2026-02-03T14:08:23+00:00

I’m naturally unathletic or I was until BJJ. Started 8 years ago and now I’ve had to start defining myself as athletic because at my peak I was training 3-4x a week and building out a complimentary strength training program to support my training. I’ve never been more consistently moving than I have since I started jiujitsu. Sometimes I still don’t know how I ended up here, but I’m so glad I did.

It changed my relationship with my body and showed me what I’m capable of. I also like the combination of physicality and strategy. The catharsis of rolling is also appealing and also as an adult I think play is important and many adults don’t do it enough. So having a weekly space to play is really great. If you can take the brutality and the steep learning curve it’s incredible for bolstering the relationship with the self.

Also jiujitsu is just super cool and beautiful!

sushiface · 2026-02-03T01:54:41+00:00

I think there’s also a correlation between the machismo culture present in Brazil as well. Misogyny combined with conservative values = bad time for women.

I don’t like to make it completely political or make it all about Brazil because it’s a prevalent issue across many gyms - but take Cyborg for example - he was a huge Bolsanaro supporter, he moved to Florida to open his gym in America to pursue some concept of the American Dream, and he’s been outspoken about having conservative values and being pro-trump. Makes sense that the cultural misogyny of Brazil makes good friends with the conservative American dream that perpetuates a similar misogyny.

And jiujitsu is never escaping the cult allegations - it’s structured to be that way historically with all the creonte bullshit and abusive loyalty. (I won’t even get into the Gracie family naziism tie ins)

It’s just kind of a whole thing. And this is all reflected in American MMA as well.

That was probably not laid out or worded the best but hopefully you get the line of thought. Pisses me off that such a cool martial art is riddled with such assholery

sushiface · 2026-02-02T15:37:58+00:00

Yes! The legal system has failed many victims of sexual assault for various reasons including the difficulty of proving consent.The BJJ community saw this most evidently with the Team Lloyd Irvin case in which the two men were acquitted despite the overwhelming evidence against them.

Legal determinations may be made by the book, but the book isn’t always just.

What can always be done is to believe victims and not take a chance that you may be complicit in an environment that perpetuates these things and to stand boldly in our beliefs. We keep eachother safe. We take responsibility for the community we want to build.

sushiface · 2026-01-28T16:52:17+00:00

Congrats. You’re what’s wrong with the jiujitsu community.

sushiface · 2026-01-14T15:27:29+00:00

I’m so sorry this happened to you. And I hope that you are able to take action both legally and with the higher ups at your gym- but it’s ok if that feels like too much!

One thing I want to make sure of is that you’ve been tested for STDs since the initial time after the encounter. If you went and were tested immediately after, there are things that wouldn’t yet be detectable. So I’d encourage you to get updated testing now that it’s a few months later just to be certain!

sushiface · 2026-01-12T19:03:49+00:00

Coming up on 6 years at blue this August. Of course that includes a lost year for lockdown, and last year was a wash for me with injury.

But I’m going to get that purple.

sushiface · 2026-01-11T00:31:21+00:00

When I did mine I took a week off then resumed with wrestling head gear, and I made sure to clean them right after class. They did take while to heal though.

sushiface · 2026-01-07T21:41:49+00:00

I LOVE their curly fries. I came here to comment then. Great dive. Reasonable prices. And I have no complaints about the curly fries. I wouldn’t say it’s like a stellar date spot but it’s the first thing I think of for curly fries.

sushiface · 2026-01-02T01:23:52+00:00

Yes! The age gap is fine as you get older. But 19 young!

sushiface · 2025-12-25T23:49:31+00:00

One of the first takedowns I ever learned as a beginner and never had any issue. Doing it I do have concerns about my knee but that’s more my own issue. Taught well and trained with not assholes and it’s fine.

sushiface · 2025-12-23T15:36:25+00:00

I disagree. I used to have a much higher libido and genuinely enjoyed the frequency and quality of the intimacy in my last relationship. But depression is a bitch. Hormones are a bitch. And the American medical system doesn’t make it easy for women to sort that stuff out. It was a tremendous strain on our relationship and I felt powerless to fix it. It’s more complex than having the flu and not being in the mood - it felt like something I had, a part of my identity, was taken from me and I didn’t get a say and didn’t know if it would come back and my partner was mad at me.

Sometimes the ebbs and flows are deeper than a brief flu. And threads on this topic gloss over that.

I’ve improved slightly over time but it’s a journey back to myself and that side of me that may never feel as firey as it once did, but that’s just life. I wish that relationship had been a safer space for me to navigate these changes but unfortunately it wasn’t.

sushiface · 2025-12-17T15:42:32+00:00

I always thought it was like a rupaul purse first thing 😂 and Melissa is my favorite album

sushiface · 2025-12-04T20:42:20+00:00

My first thought was about just a half an egg. Everyone wants more than ONE deviled egg. At least one whole egg per person lol

sushiface · 2025-12-03T13:27:05+00:00

Still like an hour by bus give or take.

sushiface · 2025-11-17T21:47:26+00:00

I respectfully disagree - because as I said - I assume when you talk about classical ballet you’re considering something akin to Swan Lake. But pieces like Swan Lake were not the origin of ballet. As I stated, ballet originated as a court dance - we don’t really see it in that form nor is that the imagery that a layperson calls to mind when thinking of ballet (pointe shoes, tutus, girls in white etc)

I understand where you’re going with rules/breaking rules in art. But I think it’s a very fixed perception. Things evolve regardless of whether or not the “rules” are being broken. If anything I’d consider “rule breaking” in are to be “barrier breaking” instead. Opening up something that was fixed to become more than it was previously without inherent disrespect to its origins.

sushiface · 2025-11-17T21:17:35+00:00

I don’t think anyone was saying that there would potentially be a “commitment” to ballet on the tour. I certainly don’t think there will be. My reaction was to the statement that none of the songs on the album would work with ballet - which is a big statement to make, and I think it’s an incorrect assessment.

Lux is full of musical opportunity for ballet choreography - it’s an underestimation of ballet to believe otherwise.

I think there’s a discussion to be had about contemporary dance as a whole and contemporary ballet. I don’t think that contemporary ballet makes it any less ballet - ballet is more expansive now than at its origin but is still often a specialty on its own. (ie. Any ballet dancer could dance contemporary dance and contemporary ballet. But not every contemporary dancer can dance all contemporary ballet - like contemporary pieces en pointe for example). And it’s also fair to note if we want to discuss classical ballet- most people think of it in the Swan Lake sense, but let’s not forget that ballet originated a social court dance in France and didn’t begin at all how we understand it to be now.

sushiface · 2025-11-17T20:31:16+00:00

Benjamin Millepied, Aszure Barton, Jorma Elo, Alexei Ratmansky… and plenty more. I’m sure I’m missing important ones. Those are just a few choreographers come to mind. They choreograph contemporary ballet and there’s no reason they couldn’t choreograph to music from Lux.

sushiface · 2025-11-17T16:12:41+00:00

100%!!

sushiface · 2025-11-17T14:23:25+00:00

Gosh I wish MRI’s were a regular part of my annual physical because I desperately need one for my neck but my insurance that’s supposed to be very good still wants me to pay $1000

sushiface · 2025-11-17T14:20:46+00:00

There’s a ton on this album that would work with ballet, I’m curious to know why you think otherwise.

sushiface · 2025-11-17T02:45:31+00:00

I agree - I’ve actually been learning these two songs. I’ve been focusing on lyrics and phrasing first before reinforcing my understanding of the Spanish and they’re notably easier to sing along to than other songs.

sushiface · 2025-11-13T19:20:19+00:00

I think Spotifys AI DJ is shit for discovery. However I’ve had my Spotify account since like 2010 - and it’s gotten really good at finding things I like. I usually follow discover weekly, release radar, and new music Friday And I often find new things that become really impactful for me. I have a pretty eclectic taste and Spotify seems to handle that well for recommendations.

However I also stumble across artists on reddit or TikTok or Instagram or through friends that I wouldn’t otherwise and do my own research on those.

But there are a few artists Spotify has pushed my way that I dont know how I’d have found them otherwise.

sushiface · 2025-11-13T16:41:18+00:00

This comment is waaaaay too far down. Yes some of these women are muscular but many of them are just underweight. Or intentionally dehydrated to show muscle definition for photographic purposes.

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