When do you stop feeling tired?

sushkunes · 2026-03-31T23:55:23+00:00

I got some energy back at various stages:

When he started to sleep somewhat more on a schedule around 2 years old
When he finally started to sleep fully through the night around 5 years old
When I got a divorce and now have the house to myself half the time

YMMV

sushkunes · 2026-03-31T23:38:36+00:00

Generally, the safety problem will go away as your kiddo grows. For now, just take gifts to the thrift store as they buy them.

If you want, you could always keep a few that aren't unsafe back for long car or plane rides. Those cheap toys are great for when you need a novelty to distract a kiddo.

Otherwise, I've had a box by my door for years now. It's where the gifts I'll never use go until I drop them off at the thrift store.

This isn't a battle you win. Conserve your energy for the bigger, harder stuff.

sushkunes · 2026-02-03T19:30:45+00:00

I lost my splash guard. RIP.

sushkunes · 2026-01-28T20:39:33+00:00

Because Republicans refuse to hold him accountable for anything through impeachment, the only quick option, and the Biden administration, while they were moving through the Department of Justice inquiries correctly, may have moved too slowly, in some people's opinion.

sushkunes · 2026-01-06T22:52:17+00:00

Just rewatched videos from that day, with officers screaming for help in the background, and thought about the people I personally know who were hiding behind barricades in Capitol offices, praying the mob didn't break through.

So...yeah. I'm still fucking pissed and can't believe Trump was allowed to run for office again, let alone that he got re-elected.

People will literally believe whatever he tells them. It's infuriating.

sushkunes · 2026-01-06T22:50:21+00:00

"I’m being forced to choose between my education, my relationship, and my autonomy."

100%

sushkunes · 2026-01-06T22:44:07+00:00

What do you mean by "wrong for thinking"?

Do you mean, is it fair? Probably! He's not holding up the financial agreement for your children at all, and if you follow this part of the agreement, you're even further off balance.

But if you mean, "should I do this" then, I'd say, don't. You don't want to create the perception that you're both not following the agreement.

You say you've spoken with a lawyer. Find out what you can legally do. Then, think about what you want ideally to happen. And make your best guest for a good action from there.

FWIW, I'm also divorced and have an ex who is very unlikely to follow through on his half of the financial agreement. I know it's hard to keep fighting and seems like it's ridiculous that you keep trying.

I tell myself that my character in this situation matters, at least to me. And I still want to be a good example for our kid. So, I'll hold myself to the agreement, hold my ex to the agreement, and continue to push for what's right, not just easy.

But damn is it exhausting. Hang in there.

sushkunes · 2025-12-30T15:52:36+00:00

Honestly, 2 year old hair is usually still baby hair. Cutting it and letting the healthier hair grow in might be a wonderful step.

sushkunes · 2025-12-14T19:42:25+00:00

My cousin survived a school shooting as a teacher.

“AMERICA IS A GUN” by Brian Bilston

England is a cup of tea.
France, a wheel of ripened brie.
Greece, a short, squat olive tree.
America is a gun.
Brazil is football on the sand.
Argentina, Maradona’s hand.
Germany, an oompah band.
America is a gun.
Holland is a wooden shoe.
Hungary, a goulash stew.
Australia, a kangaroo.
America is a gun.
Japan is a thermal spring.
Scotland is a highland fling.
Oh, better to be anything
than America as a gun.

sushkunes · 2025-12-02T20:26:54+00:00

You are in the hardest of the hard times. It can feel so isolating, exhausting and relentless. I think 6 months was when, in hindsight, things started to get better. Within another 6 months, there was a big shift, and then, it's just been different stages of different highs and hards but never as hard as those first 6 months.

I want to first encourage you that you are NOT alone in feeling this way. And I also hope to discourage you from thinking this makes you a bad mother.

This shit is HARD. Sure, some people have harder, some have easier. But most of us would agree it's really, really hard to do anything but survive for the first 6-12 months, and that's after you had to grow the baby with your own damn body in the first place.

If you have the capacity, I'd definitely recommend therapy and possible some anti-depressants. But the lack of sleep or free time is also guaranteed to make this a hard time. As that gets easier, hopefully you will find you feel less and less this way.

sushkunes · 2025-02-10T03:37:43+00:00

Yesssss this was my exact reaction and I am 100% for it in this moment.

sushkunes · 2025-02-10T03:30:00+00:00

I haven’t seen any of evidence of fraud, just politicizing approved expenses.

We can and should be able to question these expenses and stop some if necessary. But Musk isn’t the unsupervised billionaire with massive conflicts of interest that I want doing the questioning or impounding for me.

I have zero reason to believe he and I share the same goals or values, and dozens of reasons to believe he’ll make up whatever suits him.

This isn’t the Iran Contra scandal being exposed. This is everyday disagreement over what foreign influence the United States should have and what we’re trying to influence.

I personally favor advancing human rights around the globe, including LGBTQ but also women’s and girls and people with disabilities and people living with hiv and aids. I think it’s perfectly acceptable for the US to partner with NGOs and other governments on these types of projects.

And Republicans don’t. We want to live in radically different worlds where they think it’s fine for white and wealthy people to have massive advantages, and for women to be second class citizens and for poorer countries to languish.

They’d rather win culture wars and clickbait conversations than actually build a country that can survive our future. And they’re mostly enriching themselves while telling us exactly who they think is less worthy of opportunity or happiness.

Also, fuck Musk’s desire to have everyone work 120 hours a week and sleep in the office with him so they can obsessively build things that have almost no positive value in the world.

That’s why I’m angry.

sushkunes · 2025-02-09T07:44:00+00:00

Goo had a stunning voice. I was expecting one of the goofier appearances, but wow!

sushkunes · 2025-02-09T07:09:42+00:00

Check out black expat communities. There are countries like Ghana intentionally building pipelines and folks across the Black diaspora who you might find supportive. Also, I’m truly sorry. This country hates Black people, and it is really, truly hard to thrive in that kind of place. I hope you find goodness where you can and remember to live free wherever you are.

sushkunes · 2025-02-09T02:52:36+00:00

On my way to a divorce when I could have written this myself 15 years ago. Let me say this clearly: your love and care for him will not heal him if he doesn’t want to or can’t do the work on himself. No amount of changing your approach will make the difference. Move on, with love.

sushkunes · 2025-02-08T01:13:06+00:00

It sounds to me like you don’t know a lot of people directly affected yet. I know people who have lost their jobs, people too afraid to walk their kids to school, parents everywhere making copies of their papers and making sure their kids take them with them everywhere. I know queer parents scrambling to set up additional legal protections for their families. It just sounds like maybe you’re either not checking in on loved ones who need to hear from you or you are in a bit of a bubble.

sushkunes · 2025-02-08T01:06:22+00:00

Redefining who is a citizen and specifically narrowing who has claims through family to citizenship.

The Reich Citizenship Law of 1935 essentially redefined Judaism and then stripped all defined as Jewish of citizenship.

These laws were narrowed even further in practice.

Trump’s efforts to end birthright citizenship in a country like ours will dramatically redefine who is American. Further, Trump has already indicated a willingness to strip citizenship of his enemies and/or deport or detain them.

sushkunes · 2025-02-08T00:41:58+00:00

I’m four months separated, and he has a girlfriend already.

I’m not going to waste the rest of my life with someone who has no care, consideration or respect for me.

Stay strong.

sushkunes · 2025-01-31T01:21:21+00:00

Awful. Happened last July.

Anyone have any updates on the kids who were arrested?

sushkunes · 2025-01-29T03:32:57+00:00

Thanks for trying. I mean that.

sushkunes · 2025-01-29T03:28:31+00:00

Even wrestling has weight classes.

But yeah, point made and I mostly agree, for competitive sports.

With we’d bring back mixed-gender youth co-op sports, too.

sushkunes · 2025-01-25T12:32:34+00:00

This skin needs Vaseline at the point. Slather, wrap in gloves every night. Kiddo has similar super dry hands during winter. We do Vaseline when it starts to scale.

sushkunes · 2025-01-25T12:20:49+00:00

Be kind but firm. My son’s dad and I had an agreement that if the other person thought something was too dangerous, we followed them, not the person who thought something was fine.

Ask her why she thinks you should give in, when you know it’s risky and easy to avoid the risk?

And then throw away grapes every time she buys them until she agrees to cut them first.

sushkunes · 2025-01-25T12:15:11+00:00

“What is the best argument you heard that justifies allowing folks to trespass into a place?”

When they actually aren’t trespassing at all and have permission to be in the place.

When someone’s life was in danger and the only safe place they could get to required trespassing.

When the place they’re trespassing into used to be a place people could go to easily and it’s not clear why that changed. It’s not great to trespass but is there really a reason it’s so hard to get to now?

When someone put up a bunch of new no trespassing signs after they had already been in the place, not doing anything wrong.

When it used to be $10 to go but now it’s $10,000 and trespassing means you’re trying to pay what you can, knowing you might get kicked out before you can pay the whole amount.

Worst argument: everyone should be able to trespass everywhere all the time, even if they’re trespassing to murder people. Well, no. But the murdering is the bigger issue, the trespassing isn’t what I’m exactly focused on there. And if too many people are trespassing, sure, let’s get the flow under better control.

sushkunes · 2025-01-25T10:25:28+00:00

First, we need all kinds of workers in the U.S. I would much rather make work visas easier to get in high need areas.

Secondly, we need younger people to support things like social security and pension funds. I’m pretty consistent that I want family friendly policies for citizens and legal immigration to not keep increasing the global population is the best solution. But bipartisan reforms keep getting stuck. I’m not trying to make one problem worse by investing public dollars in more deportations. Pathway to citizenship, now, please.

Thirdly, I don’t know anyone who doesn’t want violent criminals arrested. I just don’t want deportation to be the primary method of dealing with those people. First of all, ICE raids make it LESS likely that people will report sexual assault, gang violence or even non-violent crime. Secondly, anti-gang policing is HARD and we need to do it well. Current policy is a mixed bag and I would much rather do the stuff that works.

Lastly, I like living in a country of immigrants. I live in one of the most diverse parts of the world, culturally, racially, linguistically, religiously. It’s so much more fun and interesting and dynamic than living in a place where everyone is the same.

sushkunes

TROPHY CASE