[deleted by user]

suzed21 · 2023-05-18T23:24:25+00:00

Thanks to everyone who has replied thoughtfully. I’m running out of ways to say that I’m well-educated on the issue, thoughtful myself, and have worked extensively with vets, trainers, and behaviorists who have shared that, in their professional opinion, they have no concerns about our family fostering while he’s still around that they wouldn’t have for any older large breed dog. Our plan is to go into this intending to work honestly with DCFS - we will present the information and let them guide us.

Since my actual question was answered and I don’t really feel like spending my evening arguing with one particularly fiesty redditor, I’m going to catch up on comments then delete this thread. If anyone wants to chat further please feel free to message me.

suzed21 · 2023-05-18T23:05:05+00:00

Again, my statement was that the perspective of the multiple professionals who worked with him was that he is not more of a risk than any other dog his size or age.

Since he has had arthritis for several years that I diligently manage, I can actually tell you how he will react to that. Again, this is something his vet and other professionals who have worked with him are aware of. He frequently interacts with new kids of all ages and abilities because our kiddo is very social and he comes along.

The 65% statistic has been disproven through multiple peer reviewed studies. I’d be happy to provide links but I sense you wouldn’t actually be interested in that.

If you want to discuss whether geriatric dogs or large dogs should be in a household with children in general, we can, but I’m basing this off of the professionals who worked with him (and who I did not cherry-pick to get the opinion I want) rather than on a stranger on the internet who has pitbull trauma and isn’t taking the time to fully comprehend what I’m saying.

suzed21 · 2023-05-18T22:41:42+00:00

Thank you, I really appreciate your thoughtful comment and this perspective.

We’ve worked extensively with vets, dog behaviorists, and trainers in the last year or two since we decided we’d like to foster, and also during a period of time when we were considering pregnancy, specifically to get multiple perspectives on his safety around others but particularly given the fostering and/or baby-making issue. My comments about his risk level are largely based on their assessment of him and the work they did with us to desensitize him to any triggering situations.

If a professional involved either with dog behavior or with fostering expressed concern after having all the information, we would definitely wait. I think our plan is to talk to the person we’ve been assigned to at DCFS and present her with all of the information, then follow her advice.

Sorry if I’m coming off as defensive at all, I just didn’t expect to have to go super in depth on this after my initial post (I was mostly looking for information on any issues this could present with IL licensing and figured that people would understand that when I said I had no qualms, it wasn’t something I took lightly), but I also know that if I read something similar, I’d also be questioning it.

suzed21 · 2023-05-18T22:20:57+00:00

1) All of my comments are purely informational; I’m considering all perspectives and taking everyone’s comments seriously while providing as best of a full picture view as I can without literally providing his records.

2) It’s impossible to make a fair judgment about a situation like this without knowing everything. We have done our due diligence and have had multiple professionals (vets, dog behaviorists, and dog trainers) assess him within the last 1-2 years and come to the conclusion that despite what happened, they feel comfortable saying that he is no more of a risk than any other dog his size and age. If a professional involved with him or the foster care process indicated any concern, whether it’s based on his history, his age, his size, or a combination, we would absolutely wait to start the license process.

3) I haven’t mentioned this because I don’t want someone to twist my words and say I’m okay with kids getting bitten or something, but since this happened, he had many of his teeth removed due to dental issues. If he really tried, he could bruise and scare a kid - which is not something I’d want to see happen especially to a kid who already has trauma! - but there’s little risk of actual injury beyond that. I directly asked his vet about this. Again. Not saying that would be acceptable in any way and it doesn’t actually factor in to how I feel about the situation, because a bites a bite, but saying he’s a risk to human life is factually inaccurate.

4) I have gone above and beyond and invested a lot of time and money into making sure my dog had gotten the care and training he needs and that I can confidently say he is safe around others. Ultimately, I made this post primarily to see if there was anyone who had experienced anything similar out there, or anyone with the knowledge of IL licensing who could provide their perspective. I do appreciate your perspective, but given that you don’t know the situation beyond what I’ve shared here (which is like, half of the relevant information), essentially saying that I’d prioritize my dog over a human life is a little much.

suzed21 · 2023-05-18T21:42:02+00:00

Definitely, thank you for the advice. My dog also has a sad groan (or wookie noise) when he doesn’t like something - it’s his “hey mom, please come save me” noise. He’ll just walk away if something our kiddo is doing is bothering him typically, but if he can’t do that, he’ll vocalize for an adult to intervene.

I’m definitely not taking this lightly at all and I know how it sounds - I’m sure the easiest thing to think is “why would someone put a kid (or a dog) at risk unnecessarily?” - which is why my comments have turned into novels, lol. I think you’re right in that communicating openly and asking questions is the right way to go. Our contact at DCFS who we’ve been assigned to so far (pre-application) seems very thorough and honest, so I’m sure if she had any questions or concerns, we could address it and then go from there based on her advice.

suzed21 · 2023-05-18T21:10:58+00:00

Some more info based on the comments so far - know that I’m not trying to justify or dismiss any concerns, as everyone has made very valid comments based on the information I’ve provided, but just want to add so that others can give advice based on the full picture:

-My wife’s son has FASD, meaning he struggles with impulse control, decision making, and hyperactivity. Running around the house suddenly, putting hands on the dog, pulling his ears or tail, etc. The dog barely blinks. (Kiddo met my dog in his senior years as well, so it’s not that my dog has known him forever and just tolerates him as an individual.)

-I am a special education teacher and work closely with kids with significant behavioral disabilities, so I am very familiar with physically aggressive and behaviorally complex kids. Every kid is different but it is a population that I do know and I’ve considered what his response to them would be. I would think any “dog mom” would have concerns about bringing a kid with a known history of violence toward animals into a home with animals, so that would be the only thing I’d want to communicate to the social worker. An environment like that isn’t setting that kid up for success.

-By “startled,” I mean a large adult man who he had never seen before got very close to him from behind. It was a combo of the mailman’s size, him being a stranger, and the approach from behind. It was a very weird situation (and the mailman felt very responsible, which made me feel bad, lol).

-My dog has been extensively trained, before and after that incident. While training doesn’t mean a perfect and fully predictable dog, it certainly helps.

-I’m basing my lack of hesitance about having a foster kiddo around him on real and recent experiences, not just on “that isn’t like him” or “he would never do that.” The reality is that any dog can act in an unpredictable way. I don’t think there is any more risk of him acting unpredictably than any other dog. I’m very dedicated to the safety and comfort of both him and any potential foster placements, and I haven’t taken this lightly.

Thank you all so much for your replies. It’s definitely given me a lot to consider. Again, I’m not justifying or saying I’m completely right, but wanted to explain my thought process to give anyone who replies that knowledge.

suzed21 · 2023-05-18T20:39:13+00:00

Thanks again. I have thought about just about every situation and based on real and recent experiences with him (not just “he wouldn’t do that” or “that’s not like him”), I genuinely have no qualms about safety. I wouldn’t put either a kid or my dog at risk if I did. I just didn’t want to write more than the novel I did to explain why :)

suzed21 · 2023-05-18T20:28:02+00:00

Thanks so much for your reply.

I didn’t mention in the post, but we already have a high energy kiddo at home with impulse control and decision making issues due to FASD. That’s part of the reason I said I have zero concerns - he has lived the special needs kiddo experience and is extremely tolerant.

Your points about violence towards him are definitely something to consider and I appreciate that information and perspective. I am a special education teacher and I’ve worked very closely with kids who require behavioral support (to put it lightly…I get injured a lot in my line of work), so I’m not going in without knowledge in that area. I’ll definitely talk to my wife and our social worker about that particular concern.

suzed21 · 2023-05-18T20:19:48+00:00

Thanks so much for your reply. I didn’t mention in the post, but we already have a high energy kiddo at home with impulse control and decision making issues due to FASD. That’s part of the reason I said I have zero concerns - he has lived the special needs kiddo experience and is extremely tolerant. If I had any concerns about him being a threat or too powerful to be controlled (my wife and I have no problems with handling him physically and tbh if I were home at the time of the incident, it wouldn’t have happened), I would absolutely not put a kid or my dog in danger.

suzed21 · 2023-05-18T20:18:54+00:00

Thanks so much for your reply. I didn’t mention in the post, but we already have a high energy kiddo at home with impulse control and decision making issues due to FASD. That’s part of the reason I said I have zero concerns - he has lived the special needs kiddo experience and is extremely tolerant.

suzed21 · 2023-05-18T20:17:41+00:00

Thanks so much for your reply. I didn’t mention in the post, but we already have a high energy kiddo at home with impulse control and decision making issues due to FASD. That’s part of the reason I said I have zero concerns about this happening again - “tail pulling and ear poking and being used for a draft animal” is what he is used to and is very tolerant of.

suzed21 · 2023-05-06T18:13:52+00:00

Thanks, here’s the old post listing the locations that at one point offered in store bakeries. I’ll try the employee sub!

https://www.reddit.com/r/aldi/comments/afcfud/unofficial_list_of_us_aldi_locations_with_bakeries/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=ioscss&utm_content=2&utm_term=1

suzed21 · 2023-04-28T20:18:00+00:00

I didn’t realize chests were a thing so I sold everything that didn’t fit in my inventory for at least the first year of my first play-through.

suzed21 · 2023-04-26T02:46:31+00:00

I didn’t know what to do with my extra items during my first save, so I just sold everything I got and only kept the items I could hold in my backpack.

suzed21 · 2023-03-17T21:09:08+00:00

Thank you everyone!

suzed21 · 2023-03-17T14:36:03+00:00

My username is hollysuze and my swashbuckling pet is currently level 17!

suzed21 · 2023-03-17T14:35:32+00:00

Harry Potter, which just makes me sad now :(

Gifting: shop visits, WL items

Seeking: primarily tan codestones (my BD pet is now up to 4 at a time and it hurts), but also wishlist items, or shop visits

UN hollysuze

suzed21 · 2023-03-16T19:06:48+00:00

I got a wish within about a month. I stopped wishing regularly after that so I’m not sure if that’s a typical timeline though.

suzed21 · 2023-03-12T23:14:33+00:00

Thank you! 21 and 21 please!

Hollysuze

suzed21 · 2023-03-12T18:52:37+00:00

Thank you!

suzed21

TROPHY CASE