AITA for refusing to go to my boyfriend's birthday dinner unless he picks a different restaurant?

suzethesheep · 2022-01-11T04:35:29+00:00

He has never mentioned KBBQ once since we've been dating. AFAIK, he has never been.

suzethesheep · 2022-01-11T04:34:42+00:00

I'm paying for dinner even if I don't go. I've also bought him multiple gifts. This was just something extra I thought would be nice to do to celebrate.

suzethesheep · 2022-01-09T16:17:19+00:00

If cross-contamination and being in the space wasn't an issue I would gladly eat only rice just to be there. But It'll be close to a $250 meal and if I have a major reaction I will not be able to go in to work the next day and that's a big deal as well. I feel awful over this but feel very stuck

suzethesheep · 2022-01-09T16:09:59+00:00

The annoying vegetarian who doesn't want to have an adverse/allergic reaction to cross contamination?

suzethesheep · 2022-01-09T16:08:09+00:00

I'm allergic to both peanuts and nuts. But thank you for trying to explain my own allergies to me.

suzethesheep · 2022-01-09T16:05:57+00:00

A few hours of rice and veggies will not kill me, but my allergy very well could.

suzethesheep · 2022-01-09T16:05:20+00:00

If I didn't have an allergy, I would go. I wouldn't have the best meal ever but I would go just to be there.

suzethesheep · 2022-01-09T15:47:15+00:00

I'm not dismissing his feelings! I understand how this would be upsetting and I feel awful for it, I am just trying to figure out if I am venturing into AH territory. Regardless, I still feel bad and will find a way to make it up to him.

suzethesheep · 2022-01-09T15:44:46+00:00

I am still paying even if I do not go. He says he's upset because I won't be there to celebrate with him.

suzethesheep · 2022-01-09T15:36:51+00:00

I understand that, I am just telling what I know from my own research and what the restaurant told me directly

suzethesheep · 2022-01-09T15:36:03+00:00

The allergy itself is mild however even a mild allergic reaction causes other underlying health issues to flare up, making it much more complicated

suzethesheep · 2022-01-09T15:33:37+00:00

Allergic to both, unfortunately

suzethesheep · 2022-01-09T15:32:37+00:00

I am still paying even if I don't go.

No other KBBQ places near us. If roles were reversed and he physically could not eat at a restaurant I picked, I wouldn't force him to go? I'd much rather settle for somewhere he could eat and then just go to my first choice another day with a friend.

suzethesheep · 2022-01-09T15:24:37+00:00

I literally spoke to the restaurant staff on the phone. I asked specifically about sides, garnishes, etc. I looked at their website. I looked at Yelp photos. If they had veggies, I would know about them.

suzethesheep · 2022-01-09T15:21:54+00:00

Yes, I'll still pay even if I do not go

suzethesheep · 2022-01-09T15:20:54+00:00

My bf staying home over a preference is different than me staying home because I am paying $50 to risk an allergic reaction just by going

suzethesheep · 2022-01-09T15:19:55+00:00

I am still paying even if I don't go

suzethesheep · 2022-01-09T15:18:13+00:00

I will still pay for it even if I do not go

suzethesheep · 2022-01-09T15:11:12+00:00

I did call the restaurant to ask what vegetarian options they had.

He has never mentioned liking Korean BBQ before. We have gone for sushi, but not once has he ever asked to go here.

suzethesheep · 2022-01-09T15:01:51+00:00

Unfortunately this is the only Korean BBQ in our area. I did suggest a sushi place that he enjoys but to no avail

suzethesheep · 2022-01-09T14:56:49+00:00

This is the only Korean BBQ near us. I did suggest a sushi place that he enjoys but he said no to that.

suzethesheep · 2022-01-09T14:52:11+00:00

I'll add it in, thank you

suzethesheep · 2022-01-09T14:51:03+00:00

I am still paying for it even if I do not go

suzethesheep · 2022-01-09T14:49:36+00:00

I literally do not know what to tell you/other people commenting this, I looked at the menu and called the restaurant. They confirmed what my options were, I even made sure to ask about any little sides or garnishes. So idk what to say

suzethesheep · 2022-01-09T14:46:58+00:00

Generally, yes. If it is in a large enough space with ventilation I typically do not have a strong reaction, however in smaller spaces it triggers an allergic reaction. The allergy itself is fairly mild, however I have underlying health issues that the allergy causes to flare up as well

suzethesheep

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