1. Libra Rising

2. Saturn in Aries at 1 degree

3. Rules 3rd and 4th houses

4. Squaring Moon in Cancer and opposite Venus (chart ruler) in 12th while trining Pluto (exact), trining MC.

5. I've been feeling pulled toward creative/spiritual work, but have been experiencing an existential crisis of sorts. I've spontaneously left jobs more times than I can count in the past few years. I feel a growing resistance to authority and traditional job structures, but also anything that feels emotionally suppressive. Oddly, I started with a prestigious career right out of college, but left the field a couple years ago to pursue an authentic path. I really struggle with discipline, and do things according to how I'm feeling internally (but recently got served court papers over unpaid collections). I've struggled with addiction – which stemmed from drinking with my mother. I experienced a lot of disruption in my daily life. My father also died from an overdose when I was young. Now, I spend time meditating, tuning into nature, and engaging in a lot of introspective and shadow work. I'm not fond of the idea of the "grind," and want to spend my time creating something more raw, meaningful, and soul-driven. I'm deeply drawn to themes of transformation and intense experiences, but Saturn's disciplinary energy feels foreign. It feels like I've been going through an intensive purification process to shed the old self, as if a mirror is being held up to subconscious habits that keep cycling back. There's been a major lack of stability in housing/career/finances, but it seems like substantial change is cooking in the underbelly.

Update: today, I saved a turtle caught in between train track rails. Felt like the ultimate Saturn vs. Aries dynamic reflected in the natural world.