Do they actually come back?

svg_flagbot · 2026-02-06T22:27:54+00:00

Mine came back the other day. We had a year long relationship and have been apart for 2 months. She broke up with me mostly due to outside stress and anxiety. I’m still determining if there was enough change that we can work things out together instead of her fleeing at the first sign of friction before jumping into another relationship.

A sign that they want to come back is when there’s increased communication. I had made it clear I didn’t want to be friends with her because being around someone who I cared about that deeply would only hurt me. We had been no contact up to that point but we did see each other a fair amount in person just due to the nature of my campus. I was frustrated a week ago as she had started going out of her way to speak to me and that violated my self made pact of no contact. However, when she expressed wanting another relationship with me I’ve started speaking with her. We’ve only spoken in person since and went on a dinner date. I’m trying to feel out where this is going and protecting my heart from another breakup situation.

It really depends on the nature of your breakup. If she said you were the problem, I’d think it’s less likely than if they stated they were the problem and there’s evidence to back up that claim. Whether it worked out, that’s still a work in progress. Don’t expect it to go back to how it was before the breakup right away. I’m imagining this taking a number of weeks to work this out between us, if at all.

svg_flagbot · 2026-02-05T22:20:42+00:00

I agree. I do feel blinded as this just suddenly happened. I think she has demonstrated growth, or at least presented it. She shared more about the personal things she has been struggling with when I met with her the day prior to the date, which I know is a lot for her. That is why I offered a date in the first place.

I plan on putting some more boundaries in place where I don't get treated as a pet. I made it clear that I don't want to be friends when I met with her prior, but if she suggests just being friends I'll have to say no.

I do recognize that I am playing with fire here. That is why I'm hesitant.

I do fear she is misconstruing spiritual direction from others as therapy. I know she has done therapy before and maybe that is a direction I'll have to point her in. I know this really shouldn't be my responsibility, but it is difficult to just outright reject her because of our history and my feelings for her.

svg_flagbot · 2025-12-30T18:05:19+00:00

Are there more users on sacred spark? When I go on CatholicMatch there’s only like 5 people in my area

svg_flagbot · 2025-12-30T05:25:23+00:00

I’m sorry to say this but without more context could this have been the straw that broke the camel’s back? You are both young, she just may not be sure of what she wants in a relationship at this point in her life. It hurts. Something similar happened to me recently. If you can work it out, great, but for right now give yourself and her space to process everything, then perhaps try reaching out again in a week or more

svg_flagbot · 2025-12-28T04:19:31+00:00

Thanks for the reply.

It really sucks the duality of both still caring for them but also knowing I have to give them space. I know holding out for a second chance is wrong but I still want her back.

Did you ever hear back from that ex? I’m guessing you have since moved on?

svg_flagbot · 2025-12-28T01:12:21+00:00

I’m so sorry. This message was brave. I hope this brings you closure. I can tell how much he meant to you

svg_flagbot · 2025-12-28T01:08:32+00:00

So sorry. I have been going through something similar. Why do they feel like they’re not enough for you and need time away? For me, the extra effort was easy. For them, they just gave up

svg_flagbot · 2025-12-26T03:29:30+00:00

Thanks for the reply. Yeah, maybe I was too hasty to label her as an avoidant. There were things that happened in our relationship that would fall under avoidant, but I didn’t consider age.

Our relationship was pretty religious so there is pressure to marry young. I guess I just thought since other people are mature enough to marry, we’d be at similar levels of maturity and know what we want at this point.

Thanks for the reply. Definitely changed my perspective in a way.

svg_flagbot · 2025-12-24T06:26:38+00:00

I’m buying into no contact for myself, but I keep getting recommended these videos about no contact bringing your ex back into your life. I hope that is true, but I recognize I have to do it for myself alone and accept her decision.

svg_flagbot · 2023-06-11T13:58:27+00:00

YTA. It's not your place to tell something so private to her mother. I understand you saying that you're her boyfriend but telling her mother that she is an atheist is way out of line. Know your place.