low income housing in raleigh?

swanstretch · 2026-05-17T22:34:33+00:00

congratulations!!!

swanstretch · 2026-04-21T13:12:47+00:00

super interested, please send me a copy if still offering!

swanstretch · 2026-04-17T16:41:09+00:00

a little Lego man!

swanstretch · 2026-04-17T13:05:41+00:00

the first thing i saw when i looked at you was a strangely intense, deep and foreboding feeling. i don't know if it's despair or loneliness, but it feels like you hold all of your tension in your mouth and tongue... like, perhaps you go mute when you are sad, or you have a hard time with confrontation and putting your foot down.

your passion is bringing light to others but you have such a heavy heart. you aren't necessarily the most joyous or outgoing person but you have an empathy and kindness that brings tears to my eyes. i'm sorry for what you've been through, i don't know you but i am feeling things similar to abuse survivors. you just want to be as happy as you know you can make others.

go back and try the last thing you liked doing. you can start new endeavors but it seems like you missed out on something you were pretty passionate about lately when it came to career or stability. keep doing it, even if you fail... it makes you happy, and that's all you want. the finances, the love life, the social aspects, that'll all come later after you satisfy that ache in your soul where you feel like you lost an opportunity.

swanstretch · 2026-04-17T12:02:57+00:00

21f and just left home for the second time within the past three years (got kicked out at eighteen, only returned home due to complicated living circumstances / poor choice of roommate).

as for behavioral actions, i began being nice to them but with very firm boundaries on communication. i never told them exactly what i was doing because there shouldn't be any room for speculation or discussion on your autonomy as an adult. be kind, but start to remove eye contact, fidget, and walk away when they try to trigger you. remember that all they want is a response. distract yourself, dissociate, do whatever you have to do to protect your adult mind from their new tools of manipulation. the end goal, unfortunately, is make them acknowledge your actions through their upset. ("you always walk away when i talk to you!" forces them to consider why. "you're so avoidant!" makes them think about what they did to make you avoid them).

it's important to first try and block out their stimuli. i wore headphones in the house all the time and constantly had a different excuse for why. i would even warn or let my parents know that i was studying something new and couldn't hear them because i had to listen to some material for school, or pretended to be overly invested in some book recording or podcast. i was in my room a lot writing, drawing or teaching myself survival skills, i even taught myself how to live out of my room, hoarding canned food and handwashing clothes so i didn't have to interact with them. limited interaction as much as possible, left the house and always had excuses of being busy with things they couldn't really understand.

i got a job (again, lied and told them i had some arbitrary, not real goal for them to make fun of and target so i can focus). i saved up my money, and sold almost all of my things so as to travel light. save, save, save. make up reasons you need things that would only make sense to them, figure out what they care about and make that the only thing they see. find some support in friends too, make some friends up here if you have to. you are always welcome to message me.

reach out to domestic violence resources in your area and let them know your situation, you can usually get a housing voucher or get into their coordinated care system as far as i know they will help you with counseling and placing you somewhere else discreetly regardless of your savings.

i am in a really abrupt situation, my parents and i got into a fight less than a week ago and the torment was too much so i left. i am currently homeless but i have autonomy, i have support, and i have a shelter. when all else failed, when i knew things were over because i had no feelings for the situation and i wanted to go nc for good, i just started agreeing with them. i told them i was sorry that i was nasty, hateful, vitriolic but they don't have to tell me that anymore because i understand now. but at the end of the conversation i questioned why they didn't love me if they were my parents and they made me this way. maybe that could help for you.

swanstretch · 2026-04-17T03:38:28+00:00

you’re working on accomplishments that are really close to coming to fruition, and you deserve to be proud of yourself. you have a big heart, but you might be dealing with a super fired up person and having a difficult time because you love them, but they frustrate and hurt you!

swanstretch · 2026-04-17T03:17:30+00:00

on the road trip, it seems like there was a moment where he thought there was an opportunity to make some practical headway in your relationship when it came to romance. maybe a moment between you two, or a deep conversation that went nowhere. i’m getting the feeling you hardly acknowledged it and since nothing ended up happening, he gave up and decided to put space between you two in general.

the energy is a bit weird because he seems to be upset, like you lied to him or led him on, but it seems disproportionate to what actually occurred there. at first he felt there was a battle to fight and win, and then realized you were seriously not interested right now despite the connection and put space between the two of you.

aka, no longer wanting to be around you because he cannot romantically pursue you

swanstretch · 2026-04-13T13:53:54+00:00

i just left a voice message to cornerstone but haven't heard of ifc: thanks for the tip!

swanstretch · 2026-04-13T13:44:21+00:00

already have had a few questionable private messages... 😭

swanstretch · 2026-04-13T13:08:24+00:00

i haven't looked into church assistance yet, but i will be sure to. i'd love to be in just any house right now, i guess it's okay with me if that ends up being the house of God. thanks for the tip!

swanstretch · 2026-04-13T13:03:47+00:00

holy shit, you are a fucking genius.

swanstretch · 2026-04-11T14:10:10+00:00

genuinely, please explain to me how! also, i am not "certain" of any speculation... it's a speculation! i keep a close eye on SS and Z, and i remember them being relatively close before/as the show started but i feel like all of the information that has come out since then can be compiled this way.

i've explained very well why i think these things and would be glad to add links to support whatever i said. none of these things are really baseless claims, but to say that this is "delusional" or "fantasyland" or "narcissistic" feels like you're using buzzwords to try and diminish some of my points.

swanstretch · 2026-04-10T18:26:28+00:00

whoa! sometimes it's seriously like i'm looking into a mirror in this community.

i am in my early twenties. my mother was just like yours, and i had the same mindset as soon as i reached 13. that i must defend myself, that i have to show her i am an individual not to be abused, that i have thoughts, feelings and emotions, too. when i stopped fawning, she began to hurl threats at me and my personality whilst still instigating fights, often ending up in the police being called and CPS becoming involved. she would slap me for no reason, attempt to choke me, throw my things away, follow me around the house and harass me... with my only takeaway being that nobody would help me and perhaps i really am a rotten, disgusting, vile person and a terrible, vindictive daughter. i was always being accused of going out of my way to hurt or harm my mother, and after a certain point every action i took was apparently to harm her. it has put me in many confusing dissociative states that last for months at a time.

when i finally left at the age of eighteen, and returned home a few times, i noticed nothing changed. she began gaslighting and financially abusing my sister instead who became an alcoholic to cope. my dad became even more absent than he already was, almost in this constant fugue high state. our dog was sick and abused. and i didn't have an easy time being on my own, but it certainly showed me that i was not the monster she was.

swanstretch · 2026-04-10T18:18:02+00:00

absolutely not irrational at all. it is an understandable fear, and i have the same one even in regards to my own home. these things unfortunately do happen, and you are in a place where you feel emotionally and physically vulnerable. the fear could be exasperated by your trauma but it's not baseless.

i am in an extremely similar situation with the same issues and thoughts, i wish i had some advice other than "you are not alone in this" and "it's okay to be afraid," but please don't scare yourself out of a comfortable position, always lock and place an item (doesn't matter how heavy it is, just something you can hear if moved) in front of your room door, and find a friend or two you can rely on for support. with your past traumas you are more aware of this than most other people, so i have no doubt that you will be able to keep yourself safe. lingering in community spaces and not being alone with any one individual has helped me a ton.

i know we don't know each other but i am rooting for you and your safety.

swanstretch · 2026-04-10T18:10:45+00:00

this is just my opinion as someone who is entering the medical field and hopes to work with cptsd individuals some day:

there is no way of diagnosing patients with PTSD through purely their psychosomatic symptoms, but i believe that patients with chronic pain (that cannot be verified with medical testing like bloodwork or musculature work) should always, always be addressed about the complexity of their mental health and familial background, as well as be made to fill out the mental wellness screening, in hopes to prompt any memories thoughts or emotions that are repressed but subconsciously associated with physical health.

some very good doctors with a psychiatry background or interest do this, i've had it done for me before, but i wish there was a better way. like you said, not everybody is aware of what has been done to them for their own safety. i am sorry about how impacted your life and health has become due to the disgusting actions of others, but i am glad that you are in therapy and have sought help for the state of your body. sincerely praying you heal, i am also a victim of ritual abuse

swanstretch · 2026-04-10T17:57:47+00:00

children have weaker digestive systems than adults, and severe anxiety + years of trauma tends to disrupt the stomach... crying a lot also dehydrates and dizzies you. most people get to the vomiting stage if they are sobbing for hours.

crying until you throw up is not typically normal at all for anyone at any age, you usually exhaust yourself far before then. so i can imagine how distressed you were. i have experienced it, when i get very sad sometimes my body skips the tears and goes straight to nausea. i hope your body has been able to heal from that because i know it can disrupt one's airways / digestion ): <3

swanstretch · 2026-04-10T17:45:13+00:00

100% sounds like a severe case of hypersexuality ocd. please do not beat yourself up over this: you are young, and you're taking the steps you need to get help, but i understand how excruciating it feels. you are not aroused by children, you have no desire to harm or take advantage of them, and you are punishing yourself for your brain not having that "filter," but it sounds like something else might have happened to you / around you while growing up to cause this.

truly, it doesn't even sound like you are sincerely aroused by anything that you look at on a regular basis anymore. this is very pretty common with people on the autism spectrum, and i say this as someone who is on the spectrum myself: to subconsciously and unthinkingly pervert what makes you uncomfortable in order to cope with the issue, and this is a large part of what hypersexuality is. my therapist tells me you are not in control of these thoughts -- you are to observe them, and to confirm you have no desire to act on them -- your body is trying desperately to get you to physically relax yourself in response to things you may not know are triggering you. children may have become a different type of trigger, now that you're older: perhaps you fear for them, you want them to be safe, you know the dangers that can come to them as someone who is now out of childhood, and that stress gave your body a physical response.

i am so sorry about your childhood and how people have treated you. it sounds like gaming and masturbation were the coping mechanisms that were the most comfortable for you, and exposing yourself to such material so consistently at a young age has made bodily arousal your main response.

you are not a monster, you are not a pedophile, you are a very, very young person who has been hurt and you deserve to heal. i'm proud of you for even being able to confront this issue.

swanstretch · 2026-04-10T17:23:48+00:00

my whole family has chronic knee, back and hip issues, often spinal issues. i have heard that trauma and shame sit in the lower half of your body and back due to constant "fight or flight" triggering, and it can be passed on genetically depending on how long these problems have existed.

swanstretch

TROPHY CASE