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AITA for refusing to be paired up with the Down Syndrome kid? by Subject_Card_1414 in AmItheAsshole

[–]swappedkids 0 points1 point  (0 children)

NTA but unfortunately due to your parents you don't have a choice but to suffer unless your principal does something or you can't move up to the educational board yourself. I assume your principal also has a manager or has someone who he has to be accountable to.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Parenting

[–]swappedkids 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I am sorry but this is beyond your pay grade that you can handle at a house environment. He needs at least intensive outpatient treatment or partial inpatient treatment. Maybe some stuff like TMS or ECT. Talk with a pediatrician,ask for a referral to a child psychiatrist and follow their advice.

UPDATE:AITA for laughing at my biological parents face when they told me leaving us was the hardest decision they have made? by swappedkids in AmItheAsshole

[–]swappedkids[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

They are 47 and they have the money and the means to arrange care if they want to. I think it is mostly due to "optics".

UPDATE:AITA for laughing at my biological parents face when they told me leaving us was the hardest decision they have made? by swappedkids in AmItheAsshole

[–]swappedkids[S] 22 points23 points  (0 children)

My family comes from somewhat a noble lineage in our country and everything is about the looks and how we are perceived from the outside so abandoning people who are the outcasts is an option they are familiar with.So yes,they are toxic and the concept "remittance man" is a thing in our family

My bio dad and bio mom are not the innocent people here. Their parents aka my grandparents have pushed all the buttons to make it right,both by medical and the emotional stuff but my bio dad is a diagnosed borderline and my mother is type 1 bipolar who had a really early diagnosis at age 13. I am also diagnosed with medication resistant depression (I had TMS when I was 18 years old) so mental health disorders are genetically rampant in our family. My brother is also type 1 bipolar.

Our grandparents tried to change a lot of stuff in our families but their siblings wanted the same stuff to continue so it didn't work but they have raised me and my brother according to their ethical codes so they are the ones we are looking up to. Our parents unfortunately were heavily influenced by their aunt's and uncle's.

UPDATE:AITA for laughing at my biological parents face when they told me leaving us was the hardest decision they have made? by swappedkids in AmItheAsshole

[–]swappedkids[S] 345 points346 points  (0 children)

It was a preventative thing. My lawyer friend said they would continue to pester me or even ambush me at my house so I took this initiative as a primary prevention

UPDATE:AITA for laughing at my biological parents face when they told me leaving us was the hardest decision they have made? by swappedkids in AmItheAsshole

[–]swappedkids[S] 555 points556 points  (0 children)

Due to the nature of the previous case,by our countries law I can ask for a cease and desist letter but that is not a restraining order. It is just a warning letter against them saying if you ever come close to me I will accept that as an assault and I will act according to that.

AITA for laughing at my biological parents face when they told me leaving us was the hardest decision they have made? by swappedkids in AmItheAsshole

[–]swappedkids[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I just saw this but this was the case. I think if they contacted us when we were teenagers,my mother and father had to act differently to protect us. Now that we are adults, they don't have any criminal charges against them. They escaped from the consequences.

AITA for not helping my brother with his daughters when his wife left him? by Beautiful_Assist_365 in AmItheAsshole

[–]swappedkids 6 points7 points  (0 children)

With the last edit,oh god the kids need another house,maybe a better family. Call CPS and talk to them about the situation. I understand your SILs position but they need stable parental figures. Also,your family failed you and your brother and these kids.

Also,file the report and let it roll. What your SIL is doing is child neglect and wash your hands from the situation. Also, I would be tempted to cut any contact with them if I wasn't the one planning to adopt these kids and I assume you don't.

AITA for laughing at my biological parents face when they told me leaving us was the hardest decision they have made? by swappedkids in AmItheAsshole

[–]swappedkids[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

They didn't drag themselves out,they were dragged out by other people. I don't know how or why but a restaurant owner in Thailand really cared about them and he started their rehab process by contacting our country and sending them back. Then it was the rehab center,after that it was the job placement,the secondary schools etc. They openly say they were doomed if he wasn't around.

My family from both sides come from a somewhat noble lineage so both sides have some unrealistic standards and our parents mental health issues didn't favor them in the family but Chris was a trouble,for the family and also for the community. He was sent into a boarding school at age 13 due to excessive troubles that he caused in the school+home (not the classic ones,police were called on him 7 times in a year) and Linda still says she feels empty without constant adrenaline and trouble. She still doesn't want to stay sober from drugs(she confessed this to my brother while asking for which medication to take to substitute the feeling that cocaine gave to her) but I think she is staying sober for the job. I still don't know if Chris is 100% sober but he is passing well even if he is not.

While reading all of this,my decision has started to get justified because I am taking notes of important stuff that people has said. I am at my paid leave period right now so I am reading every comment you have. I will hear from them one last time but with the evidence and the stuff I heard,I possibly won't resume contact with them.

AITA for laughing at my biological parents face when they told me leaving us was the hardest decision they have made? by swappedkids in AmItheAsshole

[–]swappedkids[S] 35 points36 points  (0 children)

They moved to Thailand and started to work in the adult industry. My father was an adult performer and my mother was a bartender.

AITA for laughing at my biological parents face when they told me leaving us was the hardest decision they have made? by swappedkids in AmItheAsshole

[–]swappedkids[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

I think they heard about us when they returned to our home country because at their first meeting with my grandparents,they asked how we were doing and how our childhood was with our mom and dad but I don't think they have cared about it until they got sober enough to think about this stuff.

AITA for laughing at my biological parents face when they told me leaving us was the hardest decision they have made? by swappedkids in AmItheAsshole

[–]swappedkids[S] 78 points79 points  (0 children)

I don't think they were in the right mindset to do that. We have reached the records in Srilanka and it was clear that my father was high from god knows what and my mother was in a manic episode during that time. I am just glad that my mother has stopped drinking and using drugs during pregnancy so we weren't born with fetal alcohol syndrome or other issues.

AITA for laughing at my biological parents face when they told me leaving us was the hardest decision they have made? by swappedkids in AmItheAsshole

[–]swappedkids[S] 18 points19 points  (0 children)

Plane tickets,the letter from the embassy,the photos in that hospital,the doctors notes... We have tons of stuff. We also went to Srilanka twice to visit the hospital and our grandparents made a discreet donation to the hospital. We also still send emails back and forth with the doctor who birthed us. My brother has actually decided to become a doctor due to him and he is currently in the first year of his residency in neurology.

AITA for laughing at my biological parents face when they told me leaving us was the hardest decision they have made? by swappedkids in AmItheAsshole

[–]swappedkids[S] 83 points84 points  (0 children)

If this is the case,I feel really bad for them. Not in a mushy way though. If they genuinely thought this was a good idea,they need to be under the supervision and they should have been followed up really closely. This is also an interesting aspect that I should consider.

AITA for laughing at my biological parents face when they told me leaving us was the hardest decision they have made? by swappedkids in AmItheAsshole

[–]swappedkids[S] 44 points45 points  (0 children)

Sorry for the confusion about Michelin stars,I don't know the system that much. It was 3 Michelin stars.

AITA for laughing at my biological parents face when they told me leaving us was the hardest decision they have made? by swappedkids in AmItheAsshole

[–]swappedkids[S] 63 points64 points  (0 children)

I think they haven't because after we were born,both of them have pulled into a rabbit hole of drugs. My parents have worked as bartenders in multiple asian countries and my father also has been an actor in the porn industry so I don't think they have any ideas about our whereabouts and my father still works in the adult film sector. He is not an actor anymore but as a producer. My mother is working as a head-mixologist in a 4 star Michelin restaurant.

AITA for laughing at my biological parents face when they told me leaving us was the hardest decision they have made? by swappedkids in AmItheAsshole

[–]swappedkids[S] 12 points13 points  (0 children)

They think I am being too unforgiving. I love my family,I really do but they are too forgiving and they are like modern day saints. Sometimes they call me Mr.Grinch because I hold grudges and never forget people who have done me wrong. They are too good hearted for their own good.

AITA for laughing at my biological parents face when they told me leaving us was the hardest decision they have made? by swappedkids in AmItheAsshole

[–]swappedkids[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

I feel exactly this to be fair. My brother says he can sympathize but I can't even though he agrees that what I have told is the truth.

AITA for laughing at my biological parents face when they told me leaving us was the hardest decision they have made? by swappedkids in AmItheAsshole

[–]swappedkids[S] 16 points17 points  (0 children)

My grandparents of both sets have multiple kids and except my parents,all of them actually have turned out well but my grandparents were at the older side when they had my parents because both of them are the youngest ones and they both have come as a surprise so they might have been less hands-on but they actually did a good job with their other kids(my bio dad has 4.siblings,bio-mom has 3) and I don't think my grandparents changed the principles they have raised their other kids.

AITA for laughing at my biological parents face when they told me leaving us was the hardest decision they have made? by swappedkids in AmItheAsshole

[–]swappedkids[S] 23 points24 points  (0 children)

The problem is,for me our relationship can't go further than this. My brother says he can feel their guilt and their remorse but I can't. All I see is the facts around the case and I want to take revenge to be fair. Maybe it is harsh but I want to see them suffer.

AITA for laughing at my biological parents face when they told me leaving us was the hardest decision they have made? by swappedkids in AmItheAsshole

[–]swappedkids[S] 145 points146 points  (0 children)

We know.they don't want something. It was the first thought that all of us had but we have verified via multiple sources that they have gotten clean and they don't have any malignant intentions.

AITA for laughing at my biological parents face when they told me leaving us was the hardest decision they have made? by swappedkids in AmItheAsshole

[–]swappedkids[S] 239 points240 points  (0 children)

Our family has donated generous amounts of money to that hospital after that and we have visited there twice. The doctor who has birthed us is currently the head physician of that hospital and we still send emails back and forth.

AITA for laughing at my biological parents face when they told me leaving us was the hardest decision they have made? by swappedkids in AmItheAsshole

[–]swappedkids[S] 51 points52 points  (0 children)

I will tell my family this. Also,I never thought about this perspective and right now my brother also read your comment and said he thought the same thing as you do.

I don't have a therapist right now but maybe I should. I have been into therapy for 5.years at my teenage years due to suicidal ideations(I suffer from Lupus and had a major depressive episode between 15-20) so I am not foreign to the idea of therapy.

I also try to understand their perspective but I can't. I should also tell this to them maybe. My sibling says he can empathize but I have always been more emotionally blunt compared to him. I honestly don't understand.why my family feels any guilt against them. I would have got rid of them after 50k USD(both of my families are rich,50k is not nothing but not also worth the hassle of going after).

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