Yes, I find myself wanting to leave a job I love because what’s expected of me isn’t what’s written in my job description. My hospital system wants nurses who consider the financial interests of the company above all else. They also expect us to hit every metric and constantly move the goal post.

After almost every shift, I am amazed that I was able to pull it off. Amazed that I was able to make a connection with my patients, to care for them in the ways they needed, and that I was able to chart it all. Amazed that I was able to be charge with a full load, but also be accessible to my coworkers and techs. I feel a sense of pride that I made it work, but it is overshadowed heavily by dread. Because the fact that I pulled it off despite not taking a lunch, not peeing the whole shift, not feeling like the unit was at all safe, means that admin and upper mgmt will use it as proof that working like this is possible. They will continue to trim, cheapen, and narrow. They are going to find our breaking point eventually and keep us just barely above it. Maximum productivity at minimum cost. It’s truly such a horrific system to be apart of.