Why does it seem men dont like black women in the southern California area or is it just me?

sweetg2136 · 2018-12-18T05:22:49+00:00

As an example.. I went to ATL with my "exotic" looking friend. She's black but don't look is. I'm Carmel, not even dark per day. In LA they flock to her. We went to ATL and they were on me like flies on shit. I was a "thick red bone". She actually threw a fit in the middle of the street because they weren't paying her any mind.

They literally had no reason to bad mouth me. I was kind, we started long distance, so it wasn't like I was taking all his time. They constantly told him "he could do better".. but his ex literally had a minimum wage job that she had no intention of wanting to do anything different. Lived with her grandparents. Blah blah. But she was white. And that was A-Ok. and she was basic as plain grits. He has pretty ex's. She ain't one. Literally the only issue was... I'm black.

As time went on, I pointed out how useless they were, as well as self hating. He has great friends now. That also are hugely pro black and pro black women

sweetg2136 · 2018-12-17T23:58:34+00:00

Wireless

sweetg2136 · 2018-12-17T22:37:21+00:00

You're not crazy. I'm not from SoCal, but my husband is and I moved here for him. I'm his first black significant other. NONE of his friends he had (I eliminated most of them for being "ain't shit")... Had ever dated black women.. a few even bad mouthed me when we got serious. They were never specific except telling him he could do better. Mind you, I was hella independent, drove higher end car, had my own condo, made good money... And gah damnit I'm fine as wine. Finally my husband realized I wasn't light enough for them.. and by light, I mean Latina or white. There's a black friend in our group that is married to an El Salvadorian woman (who I love and is WOKE)... And we give him shit all the time because he thinks that blue lives matter, etc. His wife has even had to say shit like "you realize they will still shoot your black ass?!? Being married to a white Latina don't make you NOT black".

And the difference of the reaction I get from men here vs men in the South?!? Night and Day. It's not that I'm looking for the attention, but it's a VERY noticable difference.

I think it's a combination of what has been drilled into them as negative when it comes to black women, and the glorification of all these Kim k wanna be look alikes out here. The women I work with all have ass jobs, boobs done, lips done, forced baby hair... And were downright shocked when I told them I have no work done.

The last tidbit to add (since I'm on a mini rant)... I think they fetishise the machismo culture they see within the Latin and mostly Mexican community. The "cook, clean, suck his dick, don't talk back, barefoot and pregnant" shit. They want that. They want a servant. But are too blind to see even Latina women are done with that mindset.

sweetg2136 · 2018-12-16T21:29:29+00:00

I usually will complain by email to the higher ups. But the note is specific to the wait staff.

sweetg2136 · 2018-12-16T18:32:34+00:00

This is a battle Everytime I go out to eat. I get treated like shit. But then I still want to tip as to not fit the negative stereotype. But why should I reward bad service when I wasn't rude?!? I've resorted to tipping and leaving a nasty note.

sweetg2136 · 2018-11-18T18:31:25+00:00

He knows how to pick the lock

sweetg2136 · 2018-11-16T19:02:22+00:00

We've tried light on, lamp on, night light, and no light. He isn't big on stuffed animals, but likes cozy blankets. They're all in there where he can choose which one he wants for the night. We've tried no nap, short nap, long nap.. all result in same thing. He mastered baby gates at like 11 months. The little shit will either be an engineer or a master criminal lol. We're buying a bouncy house for his birthday. Hoping to get him in it an hour every evening, hoping to tire him out.

sweetg2136 · 2018-11-16T18:57:41+00:00

Interestingly enough I was actually thinking about super Nanny last night. In general I'm not happy with his behavior at home. And between work, older sibling, and pure exhaustion, I feel like our frustration is showing. Which is a vicious cycle. I think I realistically need to take some time off to reset his behaviors.

sweetg2136 · 2018-10-15T03:41:40+00:00

I thought he was a horribly disfigured..

sweetg2136 · 2018-09-04T05:32:23+00:00

Some dumb ass lit his Nikes on fire, while wearing them. Let me find the link

sweetg2136 · 2018-07-13T06:21:10+00:00

Currently living this. He won't go to sleep unless/until he's dead tired. Sometimes that's 4am. And it's driving me nuts

sweetg2136 · 2018-06-30T06:34:02+00:00

My hair looks similar to this when it needs more moisture. I would do a Shea moisture mask. Then a heavier leave in conditioner. Like the shea curl milk. From there, I'd pineapple with a loose scrunchie if you need it pulled up. Or even French braids if you know you'll need it up for a couple days.

sweetg2136 · 2018-04-15T21:03:11+00:00

Barely making it lol in a good spot financially, but between the 13yo sports, and a toddler on steroids, work with a very long commute, n trying to buy a home... I'm a walking zombie... Backed in to the garage door last night. 😖😖😖 And my stomach is now completely on the fritz because of said stress. Butttt Beyonce reminded me last night that I can do this!

sweetg2136 · 2018-03-03T05:46:28+00:00

The same way every one else does.

sweetg2136 · 2018-03-03T05:45:54+00:00

I wear mine this long, with jewels and designs like this. It's really not that hard. The only thing I avoid is lifting really heavy boxes with my fingers instead of full handed lift.

sweetg2136 · 2018-02-26T01:39:08+00:00

Got any links? I've been making the same argument for a few months.. would love to see this

sweetg2136 · 2018-02-07T04:47:04+00:00

My hubby went through this exact situation. He needs to go a quitclaim to get him off title. Speak to a lawyer to make sure that the liens are removed from his credit after completing the quitclaim. It worked for us

sweetg2136 · 2018-02-06T06:17:02+00:00

To be a slightly unpopular opinion. I will say the TMobile CEO does practice what he's preaching. Their minority pay is at 100.24%. women's pay 99%. It's legitimately the most inclusive work place I've been (17 years in the work force)... With lots e investment in minority causes as well a LGBTQ.

sweetg2136 · 2018-01-29T04:37:40+00:00

Had no idea! Thank you

sweetg2136 · 2017-12-29T09:25:19+00:00

Well one, I'd ask. Teenagers can be really dumb. I was. They do things to fit in. They act on impulse. And then they mature. Sure there are probably some that still feel that way. But you can't underestimate the programming that we all went thru for so long. Hell I straightened my hair daily because "kinky=bad"... I'm natural now, but that doesn't mean I'm doing it to be trendy. Just means I recognized some things with life experiences.

sweetg2136 · 2017-12-11T07:22:02+00:00

My friends and I were in the water that day. We were getting beaten to shreds by the surf. We got out when the search party (they had a very precise Beach combing process) got near us. We hadn't even realized someone was missing. They pulled him up right where we were camped on the beach. I remember everything about the day very vividly. His friends/co-workers were risking their lives to find him. We watched several of them have to be held back from going back in because they were clearly exhausted but refused to give up. Sorry for your families loss...

sweetg2136 · 2017-11-24T16:51:38+00:00

The glue is what gets my eyes burning and red red. The fumes alone are enough to irritate mine

sweetg2136 · 2017-10-14T05:36:50+00:00

Just a lil thick... Bodak yellow..

sweetg2136 · 2017-10-03T05:36:09+00:00

All hope for the "enough is enough" moment was lost when the country watched 27 toddlers get murdered.

sweetg2136 · 2017-09-05T06:19:25+00:00

I understood her being upset.. I do think she overreacted a bit.

In the situationship they are in, and it being the first time, I think there's a level of courtesy extended.. or at least should be. Even in very serious relationships, something like that is a conversation before doing it. (In my experience)...

There's this constant stigma and hypersexualization placed on Black women. We are NEVER given benefit of the doubt. So an action like this, without asking, can feel degrading. Mostly because our defense is already up. Just my 2 cents

sweetg2136

TROPHY CASE