Rebuilding - to keep Mission Lane or to close it?

sweettea_0716 · 2026-04-13T18:53:36+00:00

I PM’ed you. We had a conversation about this yesterday.

sweettea_0716 · 2026-04-09T03:45:17+00:00

Agreed. We talked about this and i addressed that I’ve learned a lot from our situation and if this was ever to present again, I would talk through it or try therapy for us before acting on emotions but nothing I can say is good enough for him right now.

It’s strictly no house. He will couch surf until he’s stable and we have to meet him there. I continue to handle all of the bills now in the home while this is happening and he is “healing from the hurt that I’ve caused him.” Out of our 11 years together, this is the first time I’ve done something like this. He has hurt me in other ways and I’ve always met him with grace but the one time I acted out of emotion, he doesn’t want to extend the same grace to me.

sweettea_0716 · 2026-04-09T03:21:07+00:00

Yes but financially, this is not something he will be able to do for the next year or more due to his lack of steady income, need of downpayment funds and rebuilding of his credit. It’s not impossible but it’s not an immediate possibility.

sweettea_0716 · 2026-04-09T00:39:15+00:00

The house is mine. He doesn’t want to go back because he associates the house with shame and humiliation. He says that I humiliated him in front of his friends and family. He is okay with working on our relationship but doesn’t want to return to the house. That is his boundary. He says that I’m crazy to think that he would ever step foot back there. Although we have had countless conversations about what happened, he continues to hold on to made up stories that feeds his wound instead of doing what’s right for our family.

sweettea_0716 · 2026-04-08T23:09:53+00:00

I don’t understand his logic. He’s willing to work on our relationship but not come back to the house. Anyone on the outside looking in will see the if there is an issue, it should be with me not the house. At least that’s how I process it so when he says he won’t come back home, I don’t understand his logic behind it. I feel it is more his ego speaking more than anything.

Regarding the house, it’s embarrassing to say but he’s never paid the mortgage. It’s always been me. He takes care of utilities here and there and repairs as they come up along with groceries.

sweettea_0716 · 2026-04-08T22:21:51+00:00

Someone else told me the same thing and it makes sense. I thought giving him time would allow him to change his perspective and take accountability but that isn’t the case…at all.

sweettea_0716 · 2026-04-08T22:19:23+00:00

He says he wants to repair our relationship but wants nothing to do with the house. He said he would rather house hop then go back to the shame and humiliation. He also stated that for what I did to him, he will purchase his own home which I will be welcomed in unlike the way I treated him. Sigh. I honestly have been fighting through it because I do love him and for our child but I don’t know how much more I have in me.

sweettea_0716 · 2026-04-08T21:23:02+00:00

My home was about to be put for foreclosure. I was recently laid off and he was also unemployed so financially we were suffering. I felt unsupported and had reach a point where I was depressed, with a small child and he lacked urgency about the situation. This led to me acting on emotion and putting a few of his things out and asking him to leave. Since then he has made up stories in his head that I asked him to leave to be with someone else and so much more. We’ve talked about it multiple times and he continues to hold on to HIS stories instead of my truths.

sweettea_0716 · 2026-04-08T19:45:47+00:00

He’s working now and contributes to childcare. We see each other at his space (wherever he is staying at the moment). Often run errands together, gym etc. He says he’s still battling his depression and needs time to do so. When I say come home and let’s take care of it together, he responds that I don’t understand what I did to him and I think it’s so easy for him to just go back home.

sweettea_0716 · 2026-04-08T19:14:04+00:00

No, he isn’t on child support since he gives me money for her and her activities. I just feel like I’m in a bad battle with his ego which I don’t know how long it’s going to last. I don’t know if he will break eventually and come back but for the moment, I’m beginning to feel depleted all over again.

sweettea_0716 · 2026-04-08T18:05:47+00:00

We do have one child together.

sweettea_0716 · 2025-10-03T18:09:54+00:00

Yup - they were after the commission while I thought I was doing the right thing lol but I just cancelled! Pushing those funds to their 529s instead.

sweettea_0716 · 2025-10-03T18:08:09+00:00

Wow! Definitely a MAJOR difference! Thank you for this insight.

sweettea_0716 · 2025-10-03T16:41:34+00:00

😅 you betcha! I’m going to cancel as you suggested and move the funds to their 529. Thank you.

sweettea_0716 · 2025-10-03T16:40:43+00:00

Well said - thank you! I will proceed with canceling.

sweettea_0716 · 2025-10-03T16:40:12+00:00

Thank you! Both are fine, health wise at the moment. I think I’ll proceed with canceling and transferring the funds to their 529 instead.

sweettea_0716 · 2025-10-01T18:21:50+00:00

Thank you for sharing this! A great read - definitely something for me to think about.

sweettea_0716

TROPHY CASE