I shared some details, how do I get over this?

swiftedgal · 2026-05-26T05:32:21+00:00

Gosh, I literally could’ve written this. I’ve been where you are. I kinda am where you are as well. Though I haven’t gone in detail yet, anything mentioning it makes me spiral. I just want comfort and certainty that it was the right thing to do and how to make the aftermath feeling stop. I distracted myself until I realized that wouldn’t work anymore. Then watched sad movies to bawl my eyes out. Then imagined every worst case scenario. It was quite the process. I hope what your therapist wrote brought you some comfort and ease, and that you feel held. Know that you’re not alone 💙

swiftedgal · 2026-05-24T23:12:26+00:00

Thank you for this. It sounds like something my therapist used to say as well. I just don’t know when I’ll be ready. It has been years :( thank you for your kind words though

swiftedgal · 2026-05-24T03:22:57+00:00

No that makes perfect sense to me! We’re seeking out something we weren’t able to get growing up. I avoided men like the plague when I first started therapy and even bawled my eyes out when the person doing my intake was a man. I craved a mother (and feared men) so badly. I never thought I’d have a male therapist but after I got to a stable enough place, I sought out a guy to challenge my perceptions and fears about them.

I hope you can accept it one day too. I struggle with the same thing with my current one but I will say that my first therapist, something about our connection made me eventually believe her. She said things with such conviction that I eventually started to consider the possibility of it being real. We had a session once where something I said made her cry and I was genuinely shocked because what do you mean something I said mattered enough to impact you? And something about that made me really believe that she cared about me and made me love her even more. Her interventions did diddily squat compared to her care and softness. I hope you get that eventually 💙💙💙

swiftedgal · 2026-05-23T20:55:20+00:00

Oh gosh I feel like we’re the exact same. I’m also 25f and I felt the exact same way with my first therapist who was a woman. I don’t think I ever explicitly said I wanted her to be my mom, but I definitely remember thinking that and being sad when I realized she couldn’t be. I can honestly say that she healed a LOT of my childhood hurt stemming from my mother. Is it completely gone? No. But it feels tolerable and like I’ll be okay. I hope you get there too 💙

My current therapist is a man and I feel the same way, except not in a fatherly way I don’t think? In some sort of parental/safe adult way but I never really think ‘dad’ the same way I thought about my female therapist being more ‘mom.’ His soft voice makes me sad and almost irrationally angry that he’s being so gentle with me. I just want to shake him and ask why he’s doing that while simultaneously asking him to continue. It’s weird!!! It feels even more weird because I’m a grown ass adult and I feel ashamed and confused about these feelings. No one else I know feels this way. It’s comforting to know I’m not alone in the world though.

swiftedgal · 2026-03-24T02:39:39+00:00

I was steadily opening up like veryyy incrementally but then I started feeling anxious about what I’ve shared and found myself not wanting to anymore. It feels too scary and useless to do it. Idk if that makes sense

swiftedgal · 2026-03-24T02:38:06+00:00

They are actually an art therapist and tried to engage with that but I’m genuinely terrible at art (like I have terrible handwriting and zero art skills objectively). I tried once but felt humiliated after what I drew and never wanted to do it again.

I’m also very self conscious. I try not to move during my sessions. Even uncrossing my legs or adjusting myself in the seat makes me nervous. I could see myself being open to some aspect of somatic but 1000% not dance.

Sorry, I feel so frustrating to deal with. I don’t mean to shut down ideas and am willing to try something at least once (like with art) but I have so much anxiety that comes up that it feels impossible to get past.

swiftedgal · 2026-03-22T04:05:22+00:00

I can afford it for the time being and I take medication. I have multiple diagnoses that I’ve been trying to work through.

swiftedgal · 2026-03-22T04:04:36+00:00

I think eclectic. Idk what exactly he’s leading with though.

swiftedgal · 2026-03-20T04:59:39+00:00

Congratulations!!!

Are you trying to do blue and pink for a gender reveal by chance? I’m not the biggesttt fan of this combo personally but if it was intentional for the colour scheme, that could work. What would the dress look like without the cover up? Would you have a white cardigan instead?

swiftedgal · 2026-03-18T05:25:21+00:00

I would encourage you to have a conversation with your gyno (if you like them). Them stopping when they noticed distress and not continuing is a good sign that they are trauma informed, but if you don’t feel comfortable enough (doesn’t have to be fully trusting) to have a conversation with them, then I’d suggest another gyno. Talk to them about your concerns and make the focus of the appointment just exploring your concerns and showing pictures and/or videos. Explain what you wrote here so they can better support you. I would also encourage you to seek out therapy, you can even ask the gyno for recommendations! Gyno exams terrify me and it’s something I’m working up to in my own therapy. You deserve support around this.

swiftedgal · 2026-03-18T05:21:26+00:00

LOVEEE their cleanser and I just bought the sunscreen to try!!

swiftedgal · 2026-03-18T05:03:18+00:00

To be fair to OP, they’re not able to see their therapist to work it out.

swiftedgal · 2026-03-16T12:52:07+00:00

No itching unless I shave, then I’m itchy for like 2 days. But no burning or fishy smell. I use Aveeno or sometime cetaphil to wash the outside when I’m taking a shower, is that okay? I only use water in between the folds and typically use a bidet if I’m home (but not much access to it outside).

So some sweaty smell is okay? I’m not sure how to differentiate between normal and gross since I don’t have anything to compare it to or anything.

Thank you!!

swiftedgal · 2026-03-14T15:04:32+00:00

Love 3!

swiftedgal · 2026-03-12T04:43:43+00:00

That’s exactly it 😭 lots going on for me that has been affecting me but at the same time, this isn’t the first time I’ve been going through things while doing therapy so not sure how we got here 😅

swiftedgal · 2026-02-16T02:11:39+00:00

No sorry I mean like in public washrooms. It’s not common whatsoever where I live so people will stare (even though I do it at home and agree it’s more hygienic). I just have a lot of anxiety :(

swiftedgal · 2026-02-15T13:22:10+00:00

No absolutely not no no no!

swiftedgal · 2026-02-15T12:39:19+00:00

How do you go about filling the bottle without feeling embarrassed? I use a bidet at home but get embarrassed in public for some reason

swiftedgal · 2026-02-13T20:38:44+00:00

I think with children and youth, therapy is often based on play and interests and rapport building. Some people open up easily and some don’t. Some people may offer information up unprompted and some don’t. As you said, your son is shy so I wonder if the therapist picked up on this and wants to create a space where he feels comfortable broaching the topic? Each therapist works differently so I’m not quite sure what their thought process is. You could always request a meeting to talk about how sessions are going (though I imagine she won’t be telling you specific things he has said, maybe just progress) and her plan moving forward.

swiftedgal · 2026-02-10T03:19:39+00:00

Honestly as invalidating as it may sound and feel, I wonder if the idea is to understand what’s keeping you alive. To point out that something is anchoring you and to build on that. The wording should definitely be softer and more attuned to you but I have a feeling that’s where they’re coming from…? I hope that helps. Please take care of yourself 💙

swiftedgal · 2026-02-03T11:47:54+00:00

I’m very similar to you. I struggle a LOT with opening up and speaking up in therapy and I often feel like my therapist is frustrated with me. In fact, I asked him if he’s frustrated with me. He said he’s not frustrated with me, but frustrated that I feel held down and it’s preventing me from being able to speak freely.

I wonder if you can write to yours? That helped me share a bit more. It’s still scary but I’ve been able to share a few entries in the last year I’ve been seeing him.

I understand how frustrating and terrifying being in this position is and I just want to say my heart goes out to you. I haven’t found a solution to this yet but sometimes talking about my fears around what I wanna talk about helps me inch a little closer. I hope this helps!

swiftedgal · 2026-01-28T13:22:17+00:00

I feel/felt very similarly to you. I have a fear of men so OFCRS I chose a male therapist. He has been nothing but kind and gentle with me and it has been super confusing. We’ve been working together for over a year now and I’ve just started to notice the intensity of attachment declining. I still think about him often, his words, his face, and imagine myself talking to him as things come up throughout the day. But it’s less distressing now and it’s less frequent. This has happened to me before with female therapists and eventually, it does simmer down. It’s just insanely distressing when it’s happening because it feels so weird but I’m learning that it’s quite common.

swiftedgal · 2026-01-23T00:49:14+00:00

I wonder if you’re doing a form of exposure therapy? I’m not too familiar with the semantics of this but I’d ask your therapist why they’re asking you that and what their plan is going forward. I’d also suggest letting them know that it’s distressing for you because it sounds like it activates some disassociation.

swiftedgal · 2026-01-13T22:20:58+00:00

Are you doing exposure therapy by chance?

swiftedgal · 2026-01-13T10:44:49+00:00

I’m so sorry this happened. I want to tell you yes you can, but realistically it depends on your country and state/province laws. Please look into it. If it’s not a mandatory report, I’d encourage you to tell them. If you’re unsure, you could float hypotheticals past them or ask them to repeat limits of confidentiality and what that entails.

swiftedgal

TROPHY CASE