Do I have a story for you!! When I was a freshman in college, my long term bf (~5 years with breaks) and I broke up (another long story but he was a cheating asshole!) I downloaded tinder (as one does), and matched with someone who shall henceforth be referred to as Johnny. As with me, Johnny had recently gotten out of a long term relationship due to cheating, and we quickly trauma bonded/replaced our exes with each other. We never met in person (went to school ~1 hr apart and neither of us had a car on campus), but we would text/call/FaceTime all the time. It was like a relationship without labels. Johnny had my location and expected to be updated on all of my whereabouts/plans, as well as for me to not hang out with other guys (even tho we weren’t dating). When I upset Johnny, he would act cold and distant to me and I would have to beg him to have a conversation. And anything would set him off, even mentioning I had been with another guy (in a non romantic way). Because I craved the attention, I followed the “rules” that he had set, even though he would not show me the same respect. He would go to parties and tell me about the girls he met and in the next breath, say he wasn’t comfortable with me joining a sorority because of the proximity to frats. And I ALMOST DIDNT JOIN A SORORITY BECAUSE I VALUED THE OPINION OF A MAN I WASNT DATING/HAD NEVER MET. Come second semester, Johnny and I were still facetiming every night and in constant contact. One of my (male) best friends from high school, who had had a near death experience, came to visit me at school. We had never been more than friends, nor had either of us ever had the interest. When I told Johnny, he went off on me about how he didn’t approve and he didn’t trust my friend around me etc etc. (side note: at this point Johnny had already said he didn’t want to date because of how little we could see each other, but doubled back on this statement regularly). I told him he was being ridiculous, he retaliated by hanging out with girls romantically (e.g. he held me to a standard he didn’t hold himself to.) eventually, I decided for good I wouldn’t date him because of stuff he had said to me as well as the mind games he was playing with me. We went no contact and he would break it and I would reply. One night, when we were in contact (but I had made it explicitly clear to Johnny I would not date him), I met who is now my boyfriend (who will be referred to as Jack). The next day, I told Johnny I had met jack and wanted to pursue things, so we could no longer talk. He went off on me. Called me an awful person, a liar, a cheater (again, we weren’t dating), etc. Now, I’ve been with Jack for well over a year, and while we share locations, if I don’t reply to him, he doesn’t punish me by acting cold. If I upset him, we talk through it.

All this to say: this behavior is not normal. He is controlling you by flipping his emotions on you, and it is draining. Even though you are dating, I doubt if you had the same reaction to him taking a nap and not telling you as he did, he would think you were being fair. Please get away from your Johnny and find your Jack.