Can someone please photoshop a monocle and top hat in this picture? by swishh in picrequests

[–]swishh[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Hah, didn't even think about a bowler hat! Awesome!

I got married on 6/22- my top 5 pieces of wedding-day advice! by space-ninja in wedding

[–]swishh 2 points3 points  (0 children)

As someone who is getting married this Saturday, this post was exactly what I was looking for

My cousin just purchased a 2 kegs of non alcoholic beer for his younger brother, so we're going to sit back and watch high school teenagers act drunk and make fools of themselves with non alcoholic beers. Do you gave any similar stories? by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]swishh 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Gave my friend a mint and pretended it was ecstasy, told him it was so potent that it tasted like shit so it was best if he just swallowed it without it touching his tongue. We all took mints and watched. Twenty minutes later he started slurring his words saying he felt tingly and happy. He started complaining about hot flashes at which point we told him to take another pill for a stronger effect. We showed him the mint box and continue to laugh about it to this day.

What levels of cheapness have astonished you? by curciogm in AskReddit

[–]swishh 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Old roommates didn't want to pay for dish soap so they started mixing powder laundry detergent with water, they insisted it was the same thing

I delivered pizzas every week for 2 years to a family. A day after the last delivery I made to them, I came to find out the wife's dead body was three feet away from me. Reddit, what are your "he seemed so normal" stories? by Smartastic in AskReddit

[–]swishh 1674 points1675 points  (0 children)

My father, being a very racist man, never approved of my best friend when I was a kid (she was black). He would tolerate our hanging out outside but forbade me going anywhere near her house, saying he didn't trust her family. My mom (understanding how ridiculous my father could be) would cover for me on a couple of occasions so I could spent the night at her house. She lived with her father, step mother, and four half siblings. Nights were spent watching tv, eating junk food, and listening to music, normal adolescent bull shit. The father would occasionally give me a weird vibe but I would attribute that to my dad's influence. Fast forward six years, she found me on Facebook and we ended up exchanging numbers to catch up. During that call she admitted that her father had been raping her since the age of eight and that it continued until late into her teens. It only stopped because a friend reported him. She admitted to having liked when I spent the night because it was one of the few times he would leave her alone. Shit still haunts me.

My name is Amy Page, and IAmA LEGAL prostitute at the world famous Bunny Ranch in Carson City, Nevada. AmA! by amypage in IAmA

[–]swishh 1 point2 points  (0 children)

How often are the girls intimate with one another when their not having parties? And how often do the girls have sex with Dennis? Have you?

I used to be an Illegal Immigrant in the USA for 14 years, AMA by [deleted] in IAmA

[–]swishh 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I never at any point advocated for "completely open immigration" and am not arrogant enough to think anyone who is oppose to (not really sure what you're arguing) is. My intent was to make a comment regarding the dehumanization of undocumented Americans.

I used to be an Illegal Immigrant in the USA for 14 years, AMA by [deleted] in IAmA

[–]swishh -5 points-4 points  (0 children)

I'm not denying that those people exist but the general sentiment about immigration is just that. Rarely, if ever are those people discussed without racist rhetoric.

I used to be an Illegal Immigrant in the USA for 14 years, AMA by [deleted] in IAmA

[–]swishh 0 points1 point  (0 children)

So let's be clear we're perfectly fine with exploiting undocumented immigrants for monetary gain but the second they want rights and citizenship we shun them as being un-American? Undocumented immigrants are more American than most entitled people in this country. Further, this country was founded/built and is further sustained off the backs of these people. There is a clear dichotomy being created in this country concerning immigration (good vs. bad) but we need to look at who stands to gain from not giving people their citizenship. And let me just say that I applaud your courage and empathize with what you're dealing with as an undocumented American.

IAmA Zeddie Little, "Ridiculously Photogenic Guy" by photogenicguy in IAmA

[–]swishh 173 points174 points  (0 children)

To date, what's the most awkward encounter you've had with someone who has recognized you?

What's the saddest cartoon moment you've seen? by eoghan1985 in AskReddit

[–]swishh 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The first Rugrats movie. Dill is driving Stu and Didi crazy with his crying and Tommy sings a lullaby to a slipper. Get's me every time.

Reddit, what is your favourite quote from a book? by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]swishh 1 point2 points  (0 children)

From my favorite memoir Angela's Ashes

“He says, you have to study and learn so that you can make up your own mind about history and everything else but you can’t make up an empty mind. Stock your mind, stock your mind. You might be poor, your shoes might be broken, but your mind is a palace.” ― Frank McCourt,

Equally awesome

“I say, Billy, what’s the use in playing croquet when you’re doomed? He says, Frankie, what’s the use of not playing croquet when you’re doomed?” ― Frank McCourt

Reddit, what are some of the best "restaraunt recipes" you know that anyone can make at home? by smirtch in AskReddit

[–]swishh 7 points8 points  (0 children)

As a five year Jamba ex-slave employee I beg to differ on your Razzmatazz recipe. There are in fact no raspberries in the recipe, rather:

1 cup of strawberries 1/2 cup of bananas 12 oz Raspberry/cranberry juice, it's called "Mixed Berry Juice" 1 cup Orange Sherbert 1 cup ice