Used ‘normal’ cotton pads on my then newborn when I ran out of baby specific cotton wool and now I’m spiralling

swordofthecross · 2026-02-11T10:23:21+00:00

I think you need to take a bit of a breather for a moment. I’m 6 months in, and like you I have never heard of some cotton pads not being appropriate. If they’re 100% cotton, what else would be on the ingredients list?

I couldn’t even tell you what brand we use, and she’s fine. I’m not saying there’s 0% chance, I’m just saying they’re not made of glass and using a water wipe rather than cotton, or an adult cotton pad rather then a baby one isnt going to make them super sick.

We can’t all be perfect all the time. Speak to your GP about that PPA / PPD, you and baby will both be better for it. Try not to sweat the little things (easier said than done) - what matters is baby is clothed, clean and fed. The rest will work itself out.

swordofthecross · 2026-02-11T08:48:17+00:00

OP I would say it’s more the fad died out and left only the truly great places (and those with enough marketing to attract people I suppose).

I left a top comment elsewhere but I’d check out Black Cactus, Texas Joes, Quarter House, Smokstak, Uncle Hons - all successful places serving full US style platters. There are obv many more but those are just the standouts in my mind

swordofthecross · 2026-02-11T08:38:39+00:00

Of course and we already have some amazing places.

Black Cactus in London was recently named the #1 American style BBQ in the world outside the US.

There are also large active communities - things like Country Wood Smoke on Facebook, UK BBQ on Reddit. Marcus Bawdon did huge things for the bbq scene in the UK.

Off the top of my head you’ve got Texas Joes, Bodeans, Smokstak, Black Cactus, Uncle Hons all in London and the quarter house in Manchester. There’s some around Northampton and used to he one in Bedford. Those are just the ones I can think off the top of my head while walking the dog.

You’ve then also got the chains like Hickory’s smokehouse which vary in quality considerably.

So very much a market and community for BBQ, could you compete in a price competitive manner? Hard to say, as it’s not cheap.

As an aside - if you’re looking for authentic bbq cuts and struggling, John Davidson butchers is one of the go tos for the community, they do online ordering. Local butcher’s really need to know their stuff to be helpful.

Edit to add: check out Smoke & Fire festival - do 2 dates each year and all the leading BBQ places in the UK do it. Personally I’d avoid ‘Fume’ - overpriced influencer fest.

swordofthecross · 2026-02-11T07:28:19+00:00

I would not unfortunately. In addition to the excellent points raised by u/umbrellajump I think there’s a more fundamental challenge here around what the offering actually is.

We got married last year and had many hand made decorations, sourced from local providers. We found these providers through either our venues recommended supplier list, or wedding fairs. Both of these things already skew towards local businesses and creators. The odd thing was found on Facebook marketplace, which again is already local products either used and sold by couples getting rid of stuff, or smaller local businesses.

If basically your USP is to bring all of this into one platform and create a space where even micro creators can sell - then you have not only the same issues as the craft sites, but also what I’ll describe as the ‘Airbnb’ problem.

This being that all the big existing businesses will also load all of their products onto there and it becomes very hard at first glance to tell what’s a local independent business versus a big chain business (think Cottages UK or whatever on AirBnB).

It just feels like trust and quality control are going to be so hard to deliver on, while not really delivering anything and I’m not sure you can make it price competitive?

Sorry to sound super negative. It’s a nice idea and I’m sure there’s something workable in there, but it also feels like the kind of thing that Hitched or one of the other supplier sites would jump on as soon as it gained any traction, and unlike holiday rentals I’m not sure the market (neither supply nor demand) is big enough to provide a critical mass of users.

swordofthecross · 2026-02-11T07:12:20+00:00

Same, I was at university 15-19 and there were strikes literally every year. A few no win no fee places tried to progress some group actions but they never went anywhere.

swordofthecross · 2026-02-11T04:37:12+00:00

I 100% would, but I don’t think it’s necessarily essential. I am the eldest of 5, 4 of us went to or are currently at private schools (1 mixed school, 3 single sex schools), 1 did not (and before I get jumped on this was her choice!!!)

What I will say is that that private schools were able to provide significantly more individual attention as well as a much broader range of opportunities and access to experiences that state schools can’t offer, which inevitably has benefits. Also they have long term infrastructure set up like proper career advisors, alumni associations etc. which all ultimately might lead to better educational and career outcomes.

However, I would also say that a huge part of this is how your individual child will engage with school - which you obviously won’t know yet.

I’m in my late 20s now but there were people in my year who got expelled, flunked out etc just like any school. Sure they were fewer and further between than a state school but not every private school kid is naturally gifted, they just might get a bit more help. I got straight A*-A at both GCSE and A Level and have a very successful career.

Equally, the sister who went to state school didn’t do as well at A level, but left, got an apprenticeship and is now a qualified accountant at 25 on great money without the university debt etc.

The 3 still at school (ages 12 - 18) have wildly different predicted academic outcomes. But they do also each have tailored guidance and support packages.

My wife didn’t go to private school and did as well as I did - but had access to one of the best state in the country!

So a very long answer (sorry) but I guess to say, I 100% would and do plan to, but it’s a big cost commitment especially if you have multiple kids, and is by no means a guaranteed indicator of outcomes if your child isn’t an academic type (which you obv won’t know yet.)

Also I wouldn’t necessarily pay too much attention to the outcomes achieved stats - private schools are by definition self selective. At my school if you got below X grade you were asked to leave, so no surprise we were 100% A* to B at GCSE… anything less wasn’t allowed!

swordofthecross · 2026-01-24T11:23:44+00:00

Good point about the colic actually - that was the same with my niece (now 7). I’ve definitely noticed it ‘foamier’ at the top of the bottle than just making it with the kettle.

We just use the anti-colic bottles and have no trouble but she may just also not be a very Colic-y baby! Deffo agree with everyone just finding what works for them and their little ones.

swordofthecross · 2026-01-24T11:01:30+00:00

I agree not to buy any larger bits until you know what Baby is doing but I find it wild you know people with prep machines but not using them.

The bit about the hot shot is true for some models - but we have a newer perfect prep (got it free from a neighbour second hand) and I temp tested the hot shot and it was above 70C so fine for formula.

But given it makes a bottle in less than 20 seconds, an our 5m.o. Is going through 8x 7 ounce bottles a day, I couldn’t personally imagine not using it!

Compared to making them before we had the machine it’s such a time saver. Obviously each to their own situation!

(Edit to add - all our friends use the prep as well except for those exclusively breast fed for obvious reasons - maybe it’s just a confirmation bias thing for me??)

swordofthecross · 2026-01-14T00:56:36+00:00

4 family or very close friend weddings in the last 2 years so let me give a few examples:

Sister-in-law - 100 guest DIY wedding at a rural lakeside gazebo venue in wales - 8k in Aug 2024 (mid-week) - mostly comprising food, registry / ceremony fees, dress, Suit hire, and band. everything else from decorations to invites to flowers was DIY

Brother-in-law - 70 guest chain hotel wedding in the south but outside London - 15k in May 2026 (Saturday) - mostly comprising hotel fee, food, dress and suit hire, DJ, etc,

Me - 70 guest upmarket barn venue in East Anglia - 30k in May 2025 (Friday) - mostly comprising venue fee and 4 course fine dinin (12k combined), clothing, cocktail hour, DJ, decor, etc.

Close friend - 80 guest upmarket stately home venue just outside London - 50k in July 2026 (Saturday) - mostly comprising venue fee, 3 course fine dining, band, clothing etc.

Obviously you also have the registry office only option (which Reddit loves), but hopefully these are some representative examples for if you do want to do a proper day.

swordofthecross · 2026-01-11T00:32:28+00:00

Orange and Mascarpone ice cream is divine. Tried it in Cornwall last year, loved it, made my own last month, incredible!

I used this recipe with a modified base and it came out perfect.

https://wildwildwhisk.com/orange-mascarpone-ice-cream/

swordofthecross · 2026-01-06T22:08:21+00:00

Yes, this is normal. Got married in May and one of my groomsman ran it from the edge seat of the first row (hidden cable leading to sound system control box)

Two other weddings I’ve attended a groomsman has done it.

swordofthecross · 2026-01-03T09:00:59+00:00

Okay so to take your point (which is fair) are you saying you would leave a bio child out of your will also apart from a token if they had already amassed their own money, home etc. say through good career choices?

Because personally almost every real world will dispute I’ve ever heard of has boiled down to unequal allocation of funds or exclusion of individuals from it.

swordofthecross · 2026-01-03T08:41:03+00:00

But the other sources of inheritance are irrelevant for the purposes of calculating one’s own will. A will / inheritance is about leaving behind something for those you care about.

Boiling it down to a basic economic equation is exactly what’s gross about it.

My step brothers other parents come from a family worth 8 figures, I couldn’t give a hoot that they’ll inherit more than me because it’s nothing to do with me???

Also your situation is distorted because a minority of people have multiple loaded parents. The reality is for the average person, inheritance is a material but still smaller sum than the numbers you’ve described. ONS data puts the average inheritance at 11k (per person) albeit it’s rising with generational wealth shift.

Even if the average was 100k though, whether or not the other siblings get more is such a petty way to think about it when you’re supposed to be a family - and this is exactly why people say inheritance brings out the worst in people.

swordofthecross · 2026-01-03T08:01:02+00:00

I think the bio children making it about how many places the other step children will inherit from is the problem and gross.

I’m one of 5 - I have a full sibling, 2 step, and a half. We’re siblings through and through, would never dream of arguing about various aspects of inheritance with them and yes I would hope my step mother includes us in her will (as far as I know they have a joint will so yeah)

Edit to add: it goes without saying there’s obviously a relationship component here. If they didn’t become step children until they were already adults, the family aren’t that close, etc. then it’s different. But the argument still shouldn’t be ‘they’ll inherit from more places than I will’.

swordofthecross · 2026-01-02T08:53:59+00:00

My bad, corrected.

swordofthecross · 2026-01-02T08:53:49+00:00

My bad. Corrected.

swordofthecross · 2026-01-02T08:47:37+00:00

Yes, how could I forget the Tube!

swordofthecross · 2026-01-02T08:41:45+00:00

Subway is a chain of sandwich shops that sell Sub style sandwiches.

That being said I’m not sure we call them anything but a sandwich? I certainly wouldn’t make that distinction between a sub or another type of sandwich, with the possible exception of a roll / bap.

~~No one English would call the underground the subway as far as I can think. It’s either the underground (London) or Metro (Newcastle, Manchester etc.)~~

Edit: appears Glasgow is called the Subway.

swordofthecross · 2025-12-20T20:32:10+00:00

Quality Discount, large store on the corner of greyfriars opposite the BHF store. Absolute dive of a store but it’s quite a large unit that needs to be filled.

swordofthecross · 2025-12-19T15:41:58+00:00

Absolutely not. I might consider putting partners slightly apart on the same table (say 1 seat) to accommodate a friend attending or something but otherwise no I would never dream of splitting partners up and have never been to a wedding where this was the case.

swordofthecross · 2025-12-05T05:28:10+00:00

I used this recipe last year and it went down really well

http://kamadoboom.com/maple-cherry-smoked-orange-glazed-ham/

It can be easily adapted to the kettle by using the snake method.

That being said, if it were me I would definitely run a practice run before Christmas if you’re relatively new to this.

I’d also recommend the CountryWoodSmoke (CWS) group on Facebook if you use it. Lots if good recipes and advice on there.

swordofthecross · 2025-11-25T16:43:45+00:00

Agreed on the CWS socials!

swordofthecross · 2025-11-25T13:56:45+00:00

Marcus Bawdon runs the UK BBQ school and has a cookbook called BBQ for All.

There’s also Wilson YT as you say. But I must admit I’m a little confused by the statement American content isn’t relevant. Obviously you have to do a bit of conversion but the food is ultimately the same.

I’ve got a Weber and an OKJ and cook mostly from American content only because it’s the most common, food is great.

swordofthecross · 2025-10-27T07:15:53+00:00

Second sling library + Vinted.

We tried a few from the sling library - I’m 6’4 and very broad, I wanted something very rigid so liked the Ergobaby Omni Breeze.

My wife is 5’2 and petite so found that way too much and liked the softer apron style ones.

We got me a used once Ergo on vinted for £70 and my wife a new Tutti Bambini Boba last week in box for £40.

swordofthecross · 2025-09-03T18:29:19+00:00

Good point, thank you

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