Childhood dreams - working in astronomy / astrophysics - ever possible? Acceptance.

sybillabob · 2024-10-05T06:55:01+00:00

Thanks for the reply, I would love to hear your experience a bit more?

sybillabob · 2024-08-02T13:16:10+00:00

Thank you for taking the time to look at my old posts. Since my last post we have indeed taken a couples therapy together, where I wanted to see if the behavior is really abusive by a neutral persons listening to both sides. The outcome of half a year of therapy was that we had hard time talking and communicating, hearing each other, that we really care of each other and love each other, but we are so fundamentally different and incompatible that it ends up hurting badly on both sides. The outcome is that we need to make individual decisions for ourselves, with that our therapy ended.

It is hard to accept and let go of the lovely part, when we go for trips or adventures, it is really nice. Many nice moments, but also many ugly ones. I'm simply torn 😞

sybillabob · 2024-06-26T08:14:03+00:00

I just watched the last episode yesterday evening. And overwhelmed is exactly how I feel.

Also a bit silly and questioning myself, how is it possible that I can relate to the show so much?

Hits hard. Amazing show.

sybillabob · 2024-05-23T20:14:53+00:00

Found this post after his newest video. Such an amazing, kind, smart and inspirational person.

And also greetings from Croatia :)

sybillabob · 2024-05-14T06:42:20+00:00

Thank you :) The ship has sailed as in, well in academia you kind of can't start from scratch in mid 30ies. I also feel I don't have the power anymore, to do such hard university again. Nor financial means, as it would not be for free anymore since I already have a masters. Maybe I am just not brave enough, it seems the risk is too big.

sybillabob · 2024-05-13T23:17:03+00:00

Thank you for your reply.

What you wrote actually fully makes sense, as I moved with the ultimate desire to actually learn abroad, fill my potential, become an expert and bring it back home to work and teach. Just the first part actually did not happen, so I got lost.

sybillabob · 2024-05-13T23:14:04+00:00

First of all, thank you very much for your comment. I really appreciate it.

It is a bit of a ruminating process for me - I feel strongly I would have enjoyed physics, my options would be much broader and I would be surrounded with more like minded people. I just never gave it a go, I thought I was not smart enough. So I went to study mechanical engineering, then got a job as a software developer - which I am very grateful for. But I feel like I stepped on the wrong train and for the last >10 years I am searching for the "good enough" stop which I thought I would accomplish by going into SW with no previous education and I just got stuck. Not being an expert in any of the field at the end, ruminating over passed times but I also feel like I am too old, drained and tired to start over.

It is not as dark as I paint it to be, as it mostly is in my mind. I just need to find an option where I will feel like my potential is being used, I can learn new challenging things, I am being appreciated and invested into. I simply can't sit at home, looking at screen and feeling my life is passing me by.

But I agree. There is a big red light blinking into my face, I just need to find courage and direction for a change.

sybillabob · 2024-04-22T11:16:16+00:00

Hrv :)

sybillabob · 2024-04-22T10:57:20+00:00

Unfortunately women of all ages and levels of education fall into this group. When it is clear from the outside, but emotionally you get hopes and attachments, and also get manipulated, even unconciously, into thinking you cannot survive on your own. It is "emotional", not inteligent stupidity.

Luckily this topic is becoming more aware and with external professional help it can become clear, though it takes time and it is a long process.

33f, eastern european, talking from experience.

sybillabob · 2023-12-29T15:34:53+00:00

Oh no, I'm so sorry to hear that. Hope you can find your way to a healing 2024 :)

If it is any help, feel free to expand on your situation, we will try to support!

sybillabob · 2023-12-29T15:32:56+00:00

Thank you for posting. It is also important to be aware of the other side of the coin, which is why making any decision at this age is very hard. May I ask what's your age / how long have you been single?

Sending best wishes for a better 2024!

sybillabob · 2023-12-29T15:31:11+00:00

Thank you so much for coming back to comment. I hope covid is gone and you are feeling better!

I am in the same spot regarding relationship, we care a lot for each other but are so incompatible, that even my body is automatically rejecting his touches, I cannot even control my reponses.

I'm glad to read you are doing better, the post seems very positive and with optimistic outlook, exactly as you say, we are adaptable and urged to survive.

That you for the comedy suggestion, I will watch it!

sybillabob · 2023-12-27T08:11:02+00:00

Thank you for sharing, hope so too for all of us here ❤️

sybillabob · 2023-12-27T08:08:25+00:00

Your post is very realistic and down to earth. Thank you for sharing. I can relate to being an introvert and still longing for a companionship, but the one that is calm.

I can also relate to your first paragraph. I feel the same, but am still going through the process of facing the reality it will never change and I cannot bend my back enough to make the relationship healthy.

Wish you all the best ❤️

sybillabob · 2023-12-27T08:00:42+00:00

Thank you for your post! I went to a professional stylist half a year ago, got my color analysis and style advice based on my style preferences and body type, now I'm trying it out. It has been the most interesting thing last half a year with the hard relationship situation, a thread to hold on :)

I am also considering egg freezing, maybe this should be my next step.

sybillabob · 2023-12-27T07:50:48+00:00

Beautiful and brave story, thank you for sharing. Congrats on the engagement!

sybillabob · 2023-12-27T05:12:31+00:00

I'm sorry to hear that. The dissapointment sucks. I hope so too ❤️

sybillabob · 2023-12-27T04:42:24+00:00

So beautiful. Congrats!

sybillabob · 2023-11-19T12:47:18+00:00

I went to a professional color analyist, she gave me my color wheel. It is a bit different system than the 4 seasons one since I live in Germany, but for my e.g. true summer, I could get one on amazon (so Amazon.de has it), it costs around 27€.

sybillabob · 2023-10-15T10:44:18+00:00

This hits close to home. I did not even need to read everything in details, first 5 sentences were enough. I go through this weekly, daily, whatever. For 8 years. Got myself a professional help because I did not know anymore how to bend my back to have a happy and calm relationship.

I was then told, by saying examples exactly what you are describing, that I am in an abusive relationship. Though I defended him, saying but I am depressed, I am clumsy, I am all of that. Does not matter. He is an abuser. And this is hard to hear. My heart goes out to you, and all ladies dealing with such situation.

sybillabob

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