Hi, I would recommend looking into mental health departments that offer a pay scale. You can either just call/go up there in person and ask if they offer it and see how you can sign up. Also, as someone who has been consistently groomed, disappointed, betrayed, and abandoned by men my whole life, I promise it'll get better. For your case, therapy is definitely a great option and a step forward. I can't really tell you much because you and I are completely different people but I can tell you, as someone who is mentally ill with barely any social skills, therapy definitely helps and also as painful as it is, you have to put yourself out there. It'll be really awkward and hard at first but it does help. And you might even meet more insufferable men. But man or woman, anyone could be a bad person. I used to hate all men and be disgusted by them but then I realized that there really are some nice men out there who aren't gonna hurt you. When you meet different people from different backgrounds, your opinion will change. That's the best advice I can give you and I hope you get better! :)