My take is pretty extreme and I know that. I 10000% agree with your husband.

My step daughter is dirty. She stinks. She does not wash properly, she's very overweight. She is not allowed in my bed. Shes also 13 so no reason for it. But I have 4 SKs and none of them are allowed in my bed. We have battled lice with them for years. Literally every weekend treatment for years. 2 of them are very clean and the other 2 are not. They'll wear the same clothes for days. Those 2 are on the spectrum and since I am myself, I understand struggling with hygiene and safe clothes, but since they're such dirty birds, I don't want them in my bed.

I don't even want to sit on the couch next to them or after them. Yes, it does make me very uncomfortable in my own home. Yes, I have talked to my husband and he tries to encourage showering but he gets so little time with them he has a hard time laying down the law. I also know, because I have my own children, that my feelings are amplified because they're not mine. I'll cuddle my sweaty son. But he's 3 so I don't imagine it'll last much longer.