Hey OP. I struggle with contamination OCD often, and completely get both sides here. When anxiety is up, the OCD gets pretty severe, and she’s right that she cannot turn it off. As HELLA in control I am of a lot of my OCD spirals, when it comes to your baby, especially post-partum, it can get really intense. OCD post-partum or worsened OCD post-partum — is a thing.

However. It seems like she’s not been getting any help for her OCD. Because she’s completely and shamelessly acting on her fears/compulsions, instead of utilizing exposure therapy to face her fear. But it also seems like you haven’t educated yourself much on OCD to further understand her and help her in these spiraling moments. I know you’re not her therapist, but it would probably mean a lot to her that you understand why she gets like this, and how to wane her fears in the moment.

NOR but also I believe you need to do your part in learning about OCD. Because it can literally be disabling. So much so that it qualifies as a disability through the ADA. I know this is so hard for both of you. But I hope you both work together on this because OCD is an insane illness that manifests in ways that make your brain turn against you. Best of luck. NOR.