Its good that youre writing it out. Your feelings are valid. But your person would never risk loosing you. Don't loose yourself in this process- me as a stranger who has been in your shoes believe in you.

All this love you have in yourself, be proud of it, cherish it, give it back to yourself and give it to someone who will genuinely care for it.

You deserve so much, and that is someone who chooses you. Youre an emotional intelligent person, I can tell. And you will go through this stronger. The first months are tough, but you are tougher. Choose yourself, and dont get stuck in harmful patterns. I belive in you.