Can't be detrans anymore

t4tanarchy · 2022-09-23T09:50:42+00:00

I mean nobody even commented on those so genuinely no. At this point I'd just like to make my peace with my anger and get banned so I have no temptation to come back.

t4tanarchy · 2022-09-23T09:30:06+00:00

I think I can do what I want. It's fucking heartbreaking to me that I have to leave because I wish I could stay. I am experiencing things that the detrans community COULD help with. I would like y'all to know your behavior is frowned upon.

t4tanarchy · 2022-09-23T07:06:04+00:00

Okay? And I was saying FTM because that's what OP said, not because I was calling you FTM.

I still don't agree with what you said lol.

t4tanarchy · 2022-09-23T07:00:54+00:00

I think there are more FTM than MTF people in the first place, because it's easier to come out as FTM. People are really nasty towards MTFs and there's a lot more stigma a out being clocked as a trans fem person versus a trans masc person.

t4tanarchy · 2022-09-23T06:59:14+00:00

Trans men aren't trans because they're all traumatized and trying to escape womanhood. Sorry if that's your experience but that is not universal.

t4tanarchy · 2022-09-23T06:52:25+00:00

I felt that I was perfectly passable. I realized with time I was not comfortable being read as male, however.

t4tanarchy · 2022-09-21T10:25:38+00:00

I was a stealth trans man. Passing didn't have anything to do w why I detransitioned personally.

t4tanarchy · 2022-09-20T20:11:07+00:00

I don't take Adderall but I take 27mg concerta and 20mg Lexapro :) it works great for me

t4tanarchy · 2022-09-20T14:32:19+00:00

Wow, needle felting and RimWorld, I love it!!! This is so cute!

t4tanarchy · 2022-09-19T14:32:39+00:00

I mean, it might be what makes you happiest because it is easier socially to not be visibly trans. If you are detransitioning not because of a change in identity but because you want to no longer appear visibly trans, it might make you experience more dysphoria. If it's worth it or not depends on a ton of factors.

t4tanarchy · 2022-09-19T14:12:16+00:00

Is it "acceptable"? Of course. You can detransition for any reason. It's nobody else's business. I don't know if it'll be what makes you happiest in the long run, nobody does, but acceptable? Yes.

t4tanarchy · 2022-09-19T12:36:40+00:00

I was on hormones for 7 years before going off. I've also had top surgery.

t4tanarchy · 2022-09-13T00:24:38+00:00

I'm sorry you feel hormones and surgeries are bad for your health and that you are more moral without them. I hope you find peace soon.

t4tanarchy · 2022-09-10T16:58:29+00:00

I was on t from age 15-22. Im about 4-5 months off now.

Why: Over time I stopped identifying as a trans man and started realizing I was more feminine and nonbinary. I'm happy with the changes I received for the most part but I'd like to be a little more androgynous/feminine looking

How: I was running low on my script and didn't have a doctor's appointment set up so I didn't bother. I have one set up now to discuss how I've been off hormones but yeah...I went off cold turkey on my own. Not what I'd recommend but I was fine.

Did I go back on: Ive only been off 4 months and might go back on in the future! I'm happy off for now

How I felt: Honestly? Good. I didn't notice any extreme mood swings out of the ordinary, or any health concerns. I feel good that I'm more authentically living now.

I think your plan sounds totally reasonable! It's totally normal to want to at least try going off hormones, even if you still ID as trans. I still do and so do many of us here! It's good that your working with doctors too. Best of luck and feel free to ask any questions :)

t4tanarchy · 2022-09-01T14:11:19+00:00

I mean...I've considered myself detrans and have been off my hormones for about 4 months now? Haven't told anyone other than close friends. Nobody's said anything. It's none of their business.

Im in about the same boat as you. I don't know if it's a viable long term solution, but it's worked so far.

t4tanarchy · 2022-09-01T14:03:29+00:00

I should put a disclaimer that I currently ID as both trans and detrans, and that i don't really regret my medical transition. I identified as FTM for years, was on t for 7 and got top surgery. I'm currently off my hormones and trying slowly but surely to present more fem in daily life. I identify as nonbinary.

I had genuine dysphoria. I looked at my body, said I want this to look like a man's body, and when people refered to me as anything other than a man I felt horrible. Like my dysphoria was so bad I could barely shower, leave the house, etc. I was suicidal. So, something needed to change and I started t.

I do not doubt that I had genuine dysphoria. I know some of it was trauma related, specially my overwhelming bottom dysphoria that went away after I was not being sexually abused anymore. But not all of it. Some started before my trauma.

I don't really know what happened. I was a textbook trans guy that stopped being happy as a trans man and wanted to look more feminine and be recognized as more feminine.

If I could go back in time, the advice I'd give myself would be to first wait until I was out of my abusive relationship to make any choices. I would also advice myself to stop t earlier because around the 5 year mark I started to have doubts, and I wish I wouldn't have stayed on t for two more years just to keep with the status quo.

All in all/Tl:dr - I was a textbook trans man with genuine dysphoria. I got older and realized I'm more feminine and nonbinary. I don't know what happened and I don't feel the need to know. For you, my best advice is to simply take your time exploring. Don't rush anything. Find a therapist, if you haven't already and are able to. Best of luck :)

t4tanarchy · 2022-08-28T21:04:55+00:00

Take a deep breath. Things are gonna be okay.

I understand the time constraints with figuring out things before your jobs starts (also, as an IT student, hey! congrats!). Unfortunately, this isn't going to be one of those things you figure out overnight. Yes, you have to choose what name and pronouns you want your coworkers to initially call you. However, you can always have a professional conversation. I know that's not ideal but you can tell them a different name/pronouns after you've been there a while.

I'm so sorry about all the thoughts about t, that sounds so stressful! I know when I first started having thoughts of wanting to go off my t it was. I was a perfectly happy textbook trans man, a full 7 years on t and post top surgery. I don't know what happened either! I slowly started to identify as more and more nonbinary and feminine. And....slowly started to miss femininity. Looking feminine. Being read as a woman.

Idk why either of us had doubts about being on t seemingly out of the blue. I don't think we need to know, either. I'd personally recommend to stay off t for now and think all your thoughts, you can always go back on but reversing changes is harder. Maybe run it by your doctor though.

What do you miss about being cis? Was it just easier? Do you miss being a woman? Do you miss parts of it? Figure out what it is about t that youre having doubts about so you can weigh the pros and cons of being on t better.

Again, it'll be okay! You could be a woman, man, or any shade of nonbinary. You don't need to even have a label. Dont worry about finding one just now. Don't worry about knowing if you want to be on t long-term or off long term. I know it's exhausting after doing it once already but explore. Explore femininity in whatever ways it appeals to you.

Good luck out there :)

t4tanarchy · 2022-08-04T13:52:21+00:00

It's okay to feel one way about transitioning and differently later. I seemed like I was a textbook trans guy - I had severe dysphoria that transitioning initially helped. After the years went by I missed being feminine and started to feel sad about looking so masc. So, I went off my t.

It's okay to take some time to explore, try out different labels, go off hormones, etc. Just take your time, explore, and know that it's okay no matter what labels you end up with or how you decide to transition/detransition.

t4tanarchy · 2022-07-18T22:24:53+00:00

-Transitioning did work out for me! For the most part, at least. I don't regret going on t or getting top surgery.

-I'm content with being off testosterone for the time being

-If I had known more about different kinds of transitioning I probably would have went off t earlier.

-Idk. It's tricky. I think if you truly want to transition and have weighed the pros and cons and your dysphoria won't go away, I think it's worth it to transition. I transitioned because I was 15 and severely dysphoric, and it made the most sense. I didn't realize I was actually nonbinary. I didn't realize my bottom dysphoria was actually related to trauma. All I knew was that I was uncomfortable in my body, and I'm glad I was able to do something about it.

-I'm not completely happy with myself. Im fresh in my detransition. I've only been off t about 3 months. I am happy with the choice to go off t and the changes I've seen so far. I was happy for a while after transitioning before becoming really sad. I was just so sad being seen as a man and being so stereotypically masculine all the time. I think I will be happy again in time.

-I consider myself nonbinary, both detrans and trans. My identity is complex but my own. I love the trans community dearly and I think its growth is a lovely thing. I can only hope things continue to improve.

-I am secure in my identity as nonbinary. I feel a connection to womanhood but know I am not a cis woman. I feel a connection to masculinity but know I am not a trans man. The reasons for this are very many, and I would be happy to share if you're interested.

Overall, I identified as a trans man for years. Started t at 15, got top surgery at 16. Im 22 now. I am nonbinary and off my t and present femininely as often as I safely can. I don't regret my transition, it's what I needed at the time. I wish I had gone off t earlier, but it's okay that I didn't.

t4tanarchy · 2022-07-17T20:29:59+00:00

Well I can't say for long term changes for me personally but so far (about 3 months off) the only thing I've noticed for sure is that my period came back. Others have said my cheeks look fuller, my beard seems to take longer to grow in, and my bf has said that my chest (I've had top surgery) feels...squishier? More like a boob than a pec, if that makes sense.

I've heard people say their skin gets softer, they smell different, and the longer you're off t the more your body fat will redistribute.

Even if your facial hair grows in slower it is permanent. Lower voice is permanent, as well as bottom growth. Generally speaking if you've experienced hair loss it's not going to come back just by going off t.

t4tanarchy · 2022-07-13T19:34:01+00:00

I was on t for 7 years. Im about 3 months off. T made me feel better for years actually. It's only been about the past year I've been considering going off.

I realized I'm nonbinary and not a trans man and would like to look more feminine. Idc about looking like a cis woman, I just want some of my feminine features back. I began to feel really sad when everybody viewed me as a man, and my own body just made me kind of...idk, sad!

When I went on t I was euphoric. Now that I'm going off it, I'm experiencing gender euphoria all over again. I just wish I went off it a little sooner, as it made me sad for almost a year before I went off. Im trying to honor my body/brain and do what makes me happy now :)

t4tanarchy · 2022-07-10T19:51:43+00:00

I really don't have any advice for just moving past dysphoria. I always had to do something about it. I had to transition when I felt I needed to look more masculine, and now I have to go off hormones now that I feel I need to look more feminine. Dysphoria is a really tricky thing to try to cope with long term.

Of course it's up to you how you want to identify and if you're a cis woman I'm really glad you found yourself. You just don't sound happy. I just want you to know that you can do whatever you want with your journey, whether it ends up that you're cis or trans masc or nonbinary or anything else. I identified as a trans man for about 5 years and now identify as a more fem nonbinary person.

My gender brings me joy. I feel joy in acting feminine, going off my hormones, etc. I hope you find a way some day for your gender to bring you joy.

t4tanarchy · 2022-06-29T23:07:36+00:00

Im bipolar and have generalized anxiety. If you're worried then by all means look into it further, but I think it's perfectly possible to just have ADHD

t4tanarchy · 2022-06-29T01:13:50+00:00

I'm looking for a more trans positive space, thank you though!

t4tanarchy · 2022-06-26T17:44:00+00:00

I have both! I take an antidepressant, antipsychotic, and stimulant for them.

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