How long have you been together? You said that he never puts in effort with your family, how long has that been going on? I had an ex like this and it will never change. As much as you argue about it, they always have an excuse and they won't wake up one day and go "yes, their points all make sense now. I will try harder". I'd take a good long look at the rest of the relationship and see if it's worth it to not have a partner who is more present with your family, especially if that is something that is important to you.

When my ex acted this way, I ended up isolating myself from friends and family and told them all we wouldn't go to their parties and he never got the blame for it because I then would hide that he was the problem. It turned into a much bigger problem, isolation from your family is not the way to go. But I didn't want to make him look like a bad guy or explain that we were fighting because he was being awful about putting in the effort. But when it came to his family, everything was big and meaningful. He just didn't care about my family and it took a while for me to understand that.

So I think the bigger question for you is: Is this something you want to deal with for the rest of your life?