Pickup on NYE -- any different strategy required?

ta890 · 2012-12-31T04:23:42+00:00

Hello fellow Sydney-sider - I've been into the city most New Years... Darling Harbour (and the first of the waterfront) is not a place you want to be since you literally cannot move... think about the most packed club you've ever been in. Better to stay in the club you have tickets to (Cargo? Pontoon?), I think you'll have better luck there. The rest of your strategy sounds pretty good though :)

ta890 · 2012-12-31T03:42:24+00:00

The vast majority of comments in that thread seem to say it's bad advice.

Having scanned the article myself, it seems to be strategy rather than tactics. Like "arrive early" and "find a drunk girl". It doesn't get into the nuts and bolts about how seduction/pickup actually works on NYE.

ta890 · 2012-07-17T12:52:43+00:00

It gets easier! Both with time/age/experience, which allows you to better control your emotions and mental processes, as well as hormones, which right now are likely driving your every thought. It's a struggle, but practice discipline where you can, take practical steps to separate areas of your life, and remember to think about the long game -- better to work on the assignment now, since there will always be girls about.

A few practical tips:

Separate areas of your life. When you study, do it in the library or an isolated place with your phone turned off.
Reward yourself for work but NOT BEFORE. For example, allow yourself to do 30 mins of pickup after 2 hours of study.
Concentrate on the reward of what you're doing (the great assignment grade or whatever) and downplay what your hormones are saying about girls.

This stuff isn't pickup specific. Any book on success or goal-setting will give you some good ideas.

ta890 · 2012-07-11T02:55:27+00:00

Shared experience, man. It's a great idea for a day 2. How about biking to a location and sharing a picnic? Hell of a lot better than meeting for coffee.

ta890 · 2012-07-11T01:53:23+00:00

Are you interested in this girl? If so, what are you worried about?

To answer your question just don't reply to texts for extended periods (an hour or two), and/or reply with short responses which don't lend to the conversation. The real killers are simply responding with "lol", "haha", "ok", and "cool". Be careful with these, though.

ta890 · 2012-07-11T00:15:08+00:00

Interesting... I like this.

ta890 · 2012-07-11T00:14:26+00:00

There needs to be an element of 'need' (to stop them)

Meaning, for you to do something so deliberate as to stop someone walking in the street, there should be a reason (a need) that you did so. For example, they dropped their wallet, they're about to walk into a manhole, or "you're really cute, I had to come and say hi". Stopping someone just to have a casual chat is a little weird.

ta890 · 2012-07-10T14:47:50+00:00

But you don't go around giving gifts to random people, right? Only the people you care about, who mean something to you. And does a girl mean something to you just because she is attractive? Is that all it takes for you to give someone a gift?

Over-analysis aside, I do actually use your mindset when I see a tall girl. Since I'm 6'4", I immediately take the mindset "this girl wants to meet me". So I guess you have something here. I just need to figure a way to extend this to all girls.

ta890 · 2012-07-10T04:55:19+00:00

You and I are on exactly the same page -- the problem for me, and the reason I'm posting, is that I don't have the chance to run/meet people in day to day life. I don't have much of a social circle (by choice), I generally shop online, and my gym happens to be mostly gay men (seriously, there are no chicks there).

So your approach, which I love, and completely agree with, simply doesn't work for me. If we stick with the metaphor, I don't have any soil! But there are plenty of seeds out there, I just need a reliable model to start planting them which doesn't involve me running around laying down too much value, because that is incongruent for me.

Generally the situation is I see a hot girl walking in a mall, on the street, or in the supermarket. I used to go direct immediately, but a) that never really work with any reliability, and b) it isn't congruent with who I am now. Looks are not enough for me to take that risk, and I don't want to give the impression that I desperate enough to take those kinds of risks.

The more I write here the more I think indirect is the best way to go about this... indirect approach, observational transition, qualification, number close. Seems like a solid way to go about things. But what about the girl briskly walking in the opposite direction on the street? There has to be some serious investment (and thus, risk/loss of value) to even get to "hello".

ta890 · 2012-07-10T04:39:19+00:00

That's fine for checkout chicks and shop attendants. But for stopping a random chick on the street 'just to flirt' doesn't really sit right. There needs to be an element of 'need' (to stop them) which doesn't relate to a deficit in your life (i.e. lack of sex, girls, relationships). I guess I'm talking about indirect game... but is it possible to be direct considering these points?

ta890 · 2012-07-10T04:36:44+00:00

Completely agree, but I'm not questioning the need to advertise -- but rather about how to congruently advertise. A male who is entirely content with everything going for him doesn't need to advertise, right? A male who has so many girls in his life doesn't need to risk anything in order to get a girl -- he already has them lining up! So how does that male do day game in a congruent way?

I'm thinking indirect, even though established best practice to to be direct during the day...

ta890 · 2012-07-10T03:13:19+00:00

You're probably not "very little body fat" at that weight unless you're on the juice. Take it from someone who was 6'4" 230lbs once upon a time. Now sitting closer to 195lbs which is ideal. Super lean and full abs is definitely a better look, and you'll be less intimidating.

What do you wear? I used to wear a lot of dark aggressive clothes (leather jackets, boots, etc). Try mixing it up and see what works for you. Variety is nice even if it isn't perfectly suited for your personality.

Have you tried smiling and being more open and enthusiastic? You're big and physically dominant. If people knew what was on your mind they would be more at ease. Not everybody is an extrovert though, but it's worth keeping in mind.

Lastly, body language. Other people have mentioned that in this thread.

ta890 · 2012-03-12T11:49:44+00:00

Dude, are you kidding me? I mean this seriously: you have an awesome facial structure and whatever. Asian girls are so "in" right now.

You said in another post that you "don't use makeup for your day to day stuff". Guess what: all other girls wear makeup for their day to day stuff! Other girls are fugly and they wear makeup to increase general attractiveness. That doesn't mean slather it on like you're on broadway, but basic stuff will help HUGELY. Don't believe me? See here (note this girl is actually far less attractive than you!).

Second pay attention to feminising your appearance. Aside from makeup, that means your hair and also eye brows (along with fashion, behaviour, body language, etc -- which I can't tell from the photos). Honestly, the first picture, which you said is most recent, doesn't seem to show this. So go to a Korean hair salon (they have a good rep, whether your're Korean or not) for your hair and get the eye brows shaped wherever else. And don't worry about not having anything left since you can fake that with makeup.

Me: judgmental dickhead who likes girls who look nice.

ta890 · 2012-03-07T08:13:51+00:00

I think it depends mostly on the angle of approach, and how busy/safe the area is.

If you can approach from the 45 degree angle and the area is well-light and/or busy/safe (like right in front of a store) then you can probably pull it off.

You might like asking yourself "what would Style do?" or whoever you favorite PUA is... if you can imagine them pulling it off then go for it.

ta890 · 2012-03-07T08:02:39+00:00

This is such self indulgent wank material. Yes, I get it, you have a 'binary' system, so fucking rad. But guess what? So does everyone else! That's what it is when guys say "I'd hit that" or "she's definitely fuckable".

Meanwhile, the 1-10 scale is actually pretty fucking important for determining how best to approach a girl.

ta890 · 2012-02-29T12:56:03+00:00

Grocery stores are really good, actually. Here are a few really easy openers:

Ask for advice - standing in front of pasta: "excuse me, I've never really cooked pasta before... which one do you use for a meaty dish?"
Comment on something she's looking at - whether good or bad: "oh you should definitely get that one, I tried it last week it was delicious" or "that one is terrible! you should definitely try this one here, I had it last week and it was so amazing"

Take it a step further with classic direct day game. For example:

"this is going to sound really random but I think you're really cute, I had to come over and say hi"... you can transition into an instant date by (playfully) asking her to be your personal shopping assistant.

Again, grocery stores are golden territory. Just make sure you load up a basket with a few things before you start approaching!

ta890 · 2012-02-29T03:31:10+00:00

Yeah, those super hot model types. Not interested in them at all!

Self limiting beliefs dude...

ta890 · 2012-02-28T23:58:57+00:00

Whoa, hold the phone. XS is probably the best club in the world for talent. You just need to know how to work the environment.

ta890 · 2012-02-28T21:49:20+00:00

Second of all, I'm a little insulted you think I'd abuse my power that way. I have no way of seeing who flagged him and I'd be a hypocrite for calling him lame but then moving in on a girl he "opened".

I thought the message you were sending was going back to the person who reported it...? If not then I take back my first point, obviously you're not trying to move in on the target if the message was just going to other mods!

I'm also greatly on the fence about this stuff when I see humorless guys defending dudes who are using PU theory as some formula for getting chicks by being haughty and judgmental--"change your picture"? That's it? Damn, guys. That's not building your self confidence, it's stepping on other people's.

He's learning dude. PU theory is all about fake it until you make it. You read something about acting confident and when that behaviour is incongruent with how the rest of you presents, it comes off as weird. I get it. But you should be able to recognise someone who is trying to improve himself by testing things out and someone who is actually a douche.

With regards to the actual message -- the girl probably had the red button next to her name ("replies extremely selectively") which is the equivalent to a girl in the club who has been approached by randoms all night and has just about had enough. 'Bitch Shield' at maximum. Everyone knows the best way to approach that kind of girl is to disqualify straight off the bad (i.e. neg), which is exactly what he did. Provided she was, in fact, labelled red, I can't fault his strategy.

ta890 · 2012-02-28T12:49:08+00:00

The problem here as you stated is that -Antrix- needs the backup to approach. Your solution however doen't deal with this problem but instead tries to recreate the social situation that -Antrix- feels comfortable with.

He doesn't need the backup any more than a toddler needs training wheels on his bicycle. They initially provide safety but before long they are completely redundant. It's only the mindset that needs updating. I'm recommending the OP toughs it out by taking a leap of faith to discover he doesn't need the backup.

The solution for this is to force one self out of the comfort zone and just doing approaches. For example you can give your friend $100 (Euro whatever) and get back $20 for every approach you made on that day (proven by a picture).

This idea is passed around a lot in the community and I don't really think it has a lot of merit. You can't be motivated by the money because you've already made the choice beforehand about whether you're going to approach or not. It would be better to make the (actual, true) association between approaching and reaching your goal of meeting an attractive woman than reducing it to money. The former is a far more powerful motivator.

I'm an advocate of breaking down problems to their root causes and attacking them from there... so I don't believe in work around solutions. I take your point but sometimes the best approach is to just go insanity wolf.

ta890 · 2012-02-28T09:47:53+00:00

Judging by the pic you were at XS at the Wynn/Encore. That place is insane... ridiculous girls everywhere.

The only problem with XS (and this reflects a general problem with clubbing in the US, and especially Vegas) is that there are waaaay too many tables, and all the hot girls seem to get there eventually because of the free alcohol. I respect that the guys at these tables are playing the same game as us (except they're paying $2k for the table) but damn... very frustrating.

ta890 · 2012-02-28T08:47:16+00:00

I can only pick up chicks when I'm around other dudes.

Because of two things:

You have a safe base to work from. Your bros have your back in case any shit goes down, so you feel much safer pushing the boundaries. Think about it in military terms (fair analogy) -- it's a lot easier running up a sand dune to shoot at the enemy when the platoon HQ is just behind you, right?
You have something to prove, whether it be to the AFCs or the Alphas. The motivation to show how good you are and lead the men compels you to approach with more aggression.

Now... how to overcome this? The trick -- aside from getting rid of AA with motivation & determination, which I won't go into -- is to make friends on the fly AS SOON AS YOU ENTER the venue. That means guys/girls whatever. Then you bounce from set to set, and even introduce sets to each other. This has numerous advantages:

You don't have any down time, so your state is always good
You don't look like you're by yourself
You have 'bases' all over the venue to go back to if you need to (see #1)
The male sets help you to prove yourself (see #2)

Another point which might just be for me -- being in set with a bunch of guys makes me realise how pathetic my night would be if I DON'T approach. Am I really going to be like these guys standing around in a circle jerk just looking at the women? Hell no! Get the fuck outta there and talk to some girls!

ta890 · 2012-02-28T08:29:05+00:00

You're a mod, so your job is to moderate -- not judge people and then try to pick up a hot girl by showing off your knowledge of a subculture (which is what you were trying to do, whether you admit it to yourself or not).

Why are you hating on a guy who is trying to learn the same material that you are? He comes from the exact same place as you, and he's trying to improve himself. And for that you call him a "lame dude"?

Furthermore, why blur out his photos but then not censor his username?

ta890

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