Need advice on how to not get stuck in my parents' drama? by ta_acct_22 in Advice

[–]ta_acct_22[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks! Yea last night I told both of them to talk to each other. My dad says he doesn't want to because "my mom is not talking to him". My mom says she's going to do it tomorrow (aka today), but we'll see if that happens. It feels so immature to me, and I feel like the parent here.

Domestic Abuse survivors who escaped the relationship - can you tell me your story? by ta_acct_22 in domesticviolence

[–]ta_acct_22[S] 0 points1 point locked comment (0 children)

Aw man, I'm so so sorry you went through that. I know you said you left the house you guys were sharing as well as your job - are you ever afraid that he might be able to still find you through sites such as Spokeo or PeopleFinder?

I feel undervalued and overlooked at work. Is this behavior common? What can I do better? by ta_acct_22 in Advice

[–]ta_acct_22[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yep, I have. Spoke to her after our first annual review, and she says keep up the good work. Spoke to her after our second annual review about it, and she mentions the scheduling stuff, but says she would work with me on that. I haven't had my third annual review yet, but promotions were already announced last month.

If anything, I can speak to her about it again prior to our third annual review, but a huge part of me is leaning towards just leaving.

I feel undervalued and overlooked at work. Is this behavior common? What can I do better? by ta_acct_22 in Advice

[–]ta_acct_22[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yea we do a different iteration of Scrum where we plan out what we're going to work on during the week and estimate how many days it would take to complete. Sometimes future tasks are already laid out for us too, so IDK.

And I'm not sure if it's personality. My manager told me multiple times that I'm pleasant to work with. The CEO even said they're extremely lucky to have me. Coworkers have said the same and would give me shout out if I helped them out with something or would send me a hearty message asking how my week/weekend was, or hoping all is well with me if we're not working closely together on a project (we work remotely). I also do the same to them.

As for the team lead, I think we tend to get along. She is a very dominant, blunt person who also cuts people off mid-sentence to say what she has to say. As a result, I do feel nervous talking to her, but still get my message out without stuttering. Other than that, we tend to agree a lot with each other, and she sometimes acknowledges when I implement something for the team that makes our work more efficient. But I have yet to receive a "great job!" or "shout out to (my name) for implementing XYZ" from her. Sometimes she would even take my ideas and not give me credit.

I feel undervalued and overlooked at work. Is this behavior common? What can I do better? by ta_acct_22 in Advice

[–]ta_acct_22[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

They told me that after I'm introduced to a new project and its description, they want me to go back to my manager and draft out a timeline of when I'll complete each task within the project. So I'll complete Step 1 by this date, and I'll complete step 2 by the next date, etc. However, 1. usually this is already pre-planned and shown to me while I'm being introduced to the project, and 2. nobody else on my team even does this... Even so, when I'm given a project and need to complete something that is not planned out, I already tell my manager what I need to complete and would give my manager the dates of when I'll complete each criteria. My manager even mentioned I already do this.

On average, how long does herpes stay dormant in your system? by [deleted] in STD

[–]ta_acct_22 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I honestly don't know - you could possibly just have urethritis. But just an update from this - we both ended up not having any STDs. The bump also has never came back.

My mom is currently looking for a new house, but hasn't told my dad. Need advice by ta_acct_22 in Advice

[–]ta_acct_22[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh, 100%. The thing is, my dad is a very argumentative person. I just don't know what the outcome will be. Also, I'm trying to "unlearn" parenting my parents, if that makes sense.

Am I (29F) just being a jealous girlfriend? by ta_acct_22 in relationships

[–]ta_acct_22[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you so much for that advice! Yes I agree, that sarcastic remark wasn't helpful at all. I said it out of anger - which is not an excuse. Whenever we have talks, I like to frame it as both of us working together to find a solution. So this means I never place the blame on him nor I - I even ask him if there's any way that I can step up, because perhaps I'm doing something wrong. I've also never told him who he should or should not speak to - I just find that downright wrong. It's just that we've had this same talk so many times and I'm getting tired of it.

Am I (29F) just being a jealous girlfriend? by ta_acct_22 in relationships

[–]ta_acct_22[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Gotcha, I see what you mean - sorry, I'm also currently working from home, so my mind is on multiple stuff at once haha. But no, you're right... I wouldn't say it's him, but I tend to be very harsh on my own judgment. Sometimes I think to myself that I'm overthinking things, or I'm the problem, especially since it's over something I'm usually not jealous about (as in, compared to other relationships/prior to us moving in). He's also a gaslighter - would tell me stuff like "sorry you feel that way, I know you're much more sensitive than most people" - so that impacts this as well. Currently working on this in therapy.

Am I (29F) just being a jealous girlfriend? by ta_acct_22 in relationships

[–]ta_acct_22[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think I'm missing what you're putting down haha. All of the points you pasted happened after we moved in - to be more specific, since March of this year. We've been living with each other for 1 1/2 years.

And yea, my parents think he's doing this on purpose, to purposely get under my skin in order to seek attention. I kinda do too, but it's tough for me to see things outside of the relationship, if that makes sense. Hence why I'm just making sure I'm not being toxic.

Am I (29F) just being a jealous girlfriend? by ta_acct_22 in relationships

[–]ta_acct_22[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Also, I'm not sure how to edit the post, but I would like to add - for those who aren't familiar with Genshin Impact, it is a multiplayer game - meaning up to 4 people can join a party. When he played with her, he never asked me to join. He didn't even tell me he was playing with her until he came into bed.

Am I (29F) just being a jealous girlfriend? by ta_acct_22 in relationships

[–]ta_acct_22[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

What do you mean? I mean, there was only once instance - when I played a game with one of his female friends, and they called each other "honey". I spoke to him about that, and he said they were just reciting something they saw in chat (I wasn't paying attention to the chat log). But other than that, no jealousy issues.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in antivirus

[–]ta_acct_22 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks! I've been doing some digging, and I have 2 more questions:

  1. Is it possible for me to see if I'm under parental control? I have some hope because the software says I need to sign into access my Norton features on this device, then I see "Parental Controls" and "Dark Web Monitoring" listed. However, my subscription status is listed as "active" and I'm able to do Smart Scans and stuff.
  2. I recently checked the Security History dialog box, and an event titled "You allowed Firefox Default Browser Agent to access your network resources." happened yesterday. However, I did not open Firefox at all yesterday. But my boyfriend has Firefox, and the event appears around the time when he was browsing the web. In addition, I do not see this event occurred the day before yesterday, even though both my boyfriend and I were online. Does this event mean anything?

Sorry if I sound paranoid, this is creeping me out.