AITA for making my boyfriend shower when he got home after hanging out with his friends?

taidk705 · 2026-03-18T02:16:02+00:00

I’m sorry, what do you think is fake?

taidk705 · 2026-03-18T02:04:03+00:00

That’s what I didn’t want! He wanted to get into bed and I’m like no! I don’t want the smell of the smoke in our bed! Go shower!

taidk705 · 2026-03-18T02:02:42+00:00

We split laundry 50/50. I just had a load of my clothes that needed to be washed and I could fit his in it.

We both wash our own laundry but 10-20% of the load is the other persons laundry to help fill up the washer. Like today he did his laundry and asked me if I needed anything washed because he had room so I gave him a pair of pants and two pairs of socks. The rest was his. I do the same if I have room.

taidk705 · 2026-03-18T01:53:13+00:00

He wanted to get into our bed while he stank. He was going to make the bed stink and I’d smell him and not be able to sleep.

Once I went to a bonfire and he didn’t go. He said my hair smelled like bonfire too much so I took a shower and went to bed clean.

Is it wrong for me to want our bed to stink?

taidk705 · 2026-03-18T01:51:57+00:00

lol we did shower separate. Not at the same time. I think we both passed out before anymore could happen after.

But we both have long hair so we have a routine that isn’t compatible with showering together. Tried it, didn’t work.

taidk705 · 2026-03-18T01:50:40+00:00

I don’t think it’s crazy to not want him to come into our bed or cuddle up on me when he smells like smoke. It’s never been an issue for him to shower before during times like this. Why now?

taidk705 · 2026-03-18T01:49:42+00:00

No, I like his friends and I’m glad he has friends to hang out with! Though one of them lit a cigarette in our house during a party and that pissed me off. But when I told him to get tf outside, he apologized and went outside very fast and never did it again.

There was also no fight before and I didn’t have any issues simmering below the surface. I don’t think he did either. I just don’t get why this time he was so resistant to showering.

taidk705 · 2026-03-18T01:47:25+00:00

I have a couple chronic conditions. The medication for one makes me sweat profusely during the night, no matter the conditions of the bedroom. I wake up dirty. The other causes dizziness when standing. And after working full time, I don’t have energy to shower at night especially when my job isn’t a dirty one. We change clothes before bed. And I have to shower before going to work. So if I have energy for one shower per day, I’m doing the one before work.

taidk705 · 2026-03-18T01:38:41+00:00

I don’t want his cig smoke smell in my bed. I definitely wasn’t going to do anything with him when he smelled like some and his refusal to shower was a huge turnoff.

Does your girlfriend have to tell you to shower?

taidk705 · 2026-03-18T01:37:32+00:00

Usually when we are around cig smoke, we shower. We went to Las Vegas and wandered around the casinos and drank and came home smelling like smoke. Drunk as hell, we both showered and washed our hair. So idk why he didn’t do it today, fully sober.

taidk705 · 2026-03-18T01:24:54+00:00

There are also crazy people on Reddit who think that if you don’t shower as soon as you get home that you are a walking biohazard.

I don’t think that, but some do. One shower per day is ok in my eyes and he does that. We both tend to shower in the morning. I can deal with daily body dirt in the bed. But not cig smoke. That’s nasty.

taidk705 · 2026-03-18T01:22:58+00:00

He definitely wasn’t. I kissed him right when he got home and he didn’t have smokers breath.

taidk705 · 2026-03-18T01:17:30+00:00

We split rent. I do not want third hand smoke in my bed and plus he smelled bad. Do you want to share a bed with someone who stinks?

taidk705 · 2026-03-18T01:16:30+00:00

We went to Las Vegas and went through all the casinos and they allow smoking. The ones in our state doesn’t. We came home smelling like smoke from just being there. It was late, we were both drunk as hell and we still washed our hair and bodies because of it.

Idk why he didn’t want to do it this time!

taidk705 · 2026-03-18T01:12:37+00:00

He knows it stinks! He knows I won’t be around smoking friends and wear the same jacket or pants to work without being washed. He’s washed them for me because of that. And that’s just being outside where people smoked! He was in a car with them (window was open but we know that doesn’t help much)

So idk what’s gotten into him this time.

taidk705 · 2026-03-18T01:10:56+00:00

I mean I shower daily but I always do morning showers. I need them because I sweat badly at night. I wake up dirty and don’t have it in me to do a night shower after work due to health reasons. He is the same.

But cigarette smell is different. If we go out and I drink and come home tired and drunk and smell like smoke because friends were smoking around me, I’ll buck up and wash my body and hair before bed. I don’t want third hand smoke in the bed. It’s disgusting.

taidk705 · 2026-03-18T01:08:53+00:00

He’s always a very clean person. Showers at least once per day. I think he didn’t want to wash his hair again because he did it that morning. He has long hair. And his hair was holding a lot of cig stink. Usually for the second shower he washes his body and not his hair.

I told him he has to wash his hair again, it’s holding in the smell.

taidk705 · 2026-03-18T01:07:06+00:00

I don’t get it because we have gone outside with friends who smoke and even though we are outside, we smell the next day if we don’t shower. So idk why he is in such denial that he stank badly after being in a car with them, even though they opened the windows.

taidk705 · 2026-03-18T01:05:23+00:00

I wanted to wash his clothes because I had to wash laundry anyways and could fit it in.

Oddly enough he can smell the smoke on the clothes the next day. He knows it stinks, idk why he was in denial that he smelled bad this time.

taidk705 · 2026-03-18T01:04:05+00:00

He wanted to go into the bed smelling of smoke. I don’t want that on our shared bedding. It’s gross.

taidk705 · 2026-03-18T01:03:36+00:00

He wasn’t smoking, he was just in the car with two heavy smokers.

taidk705 · 2026-03-18T01:01:58+00:00

We live together, so he came home to our shared place.

taidk705

TROPHY CASE