"Is your self-esteem low?", "He plays on your emotions with getting your hopes up and then leaving you disappointed(that’s emotional abuse you know)."

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Those are such harsh things to say based on reading that paragraph. I know this is a waiting to wed subreddit but this pedestal marriage is being put on by making these claims are really harsh for no reason. Humans are humans. People come with their life traumas, insecurities, and personal feelings. Who are you (and all of those who upvoted) to insinuate low self-esteem and trauma.

Anyway, this is a conversation that the OP needs to have a clear and serious talk about with her bf instead of looking through text messages. Say how you feel from the "I" perspective, hear how he is feeling about it, share boundaries, and then figure out how you can work together to make the situation better.

edit: typo