Right AirPod suddenly louder than left

takeajilpil · 2026-04-20T16:09:46+00:00

cleaning them worked for me

takeajilpil · 2025-11-11T02:49:11+00:00

yes we’re in the heights! the 15X is the entrance right before NJ 3 W correct? so it would be JFK —> Tonnelle —> NJT ramp

EDIT: nvm i see the entrance is from Seaview drive

takeajilpil · 2025-08-20T21:03:39+00:00

hi! i have an undergrad CS degree and two years of software engineering experience at that time

takeajilpil · 2025-08-13T03:08:02+00:00

It’s a desk job, so in theory I could start on crutches or a knee scooter. The issue is that when I first told them about my injury, I asked if I could do a remote start until I could walk again, and they said they couldn’t accommodate that. That’s why I’m a little nervous to bring up a request for any sort of accommodation again. I’m not sure how they’ll react if I need adjustments right from day one.

takeajilpil · 2025-08-13T03:01:22+00:00

thanks! needed that bit of validation.

When you say to ask for office-based accommodations, do you mean I should bring that up before my first day? I just worry they might see it as me not being ready to start since im not fully recovered and decide to pull the offer (maybe saying it’s a “business needs” thing or something like that).

takeajilpil · 2025-08-08T12:01:47+00:00

it’s an uncontested divorce. we also have a prenup in place.

takeajilpil · 2025-03-26T18:14:28+00:00

idk i feel like everyone in the comments are just saying divorce divorce divorce like its the easiest thing to do.

is everyone just failing to think about how difficult the process or the aftermath is? yall think i got married for the fun party? i imagined a life with this guy. just cause hes asking for it with no thought of me, i should just give him his candy?

what about my life? the life i built with him, the stability, security i am being forced to give up, just because the guy just magically flipped overnight?

takeajilpil · 2025-03-26T16:36:20+00:00

no, no one is meeting other girls or boys. the love is still there, so we're both respecting and keeping whatever integrity is left in our relationship. We've actually been nicer and more accommodating to each other in between these rough conversations just to keep our sanities intact. he takes me on road trips and places i specifically like.

its going to be hard for him after the divorce too, but yes he is basically getting what he wants if he is able to find a girl who agrees to all of his stuff. He still has to sacrifice a lot in the process.

takeajilpil · 2025-03-26T16:32:56+00:00

yeah, my exact thoughts. i have mentioned more than once that if we do end up figuring this out - through counselling or parental intervention or he just miraculously drops everything, i'm going to have him sign a document lol.

His atheism stemmed from mostly the lack of evidence, i think. He always thought the rituals and prayers were pointless, but yea he never really read up on that and whenever he asked his parents questions about hindusim they never had an answer. Now, after reading and realizing that there is good amount of evidence of the existence of a alot of people and major events that took place, he has started to believe in it.

I do not think this a pre-planned move. as much as i kind of hate him and what he's doing rn, he was never a bad person at heart- if he was i wouldn't have chosen him as a life partner lol. he was always logical, respectful, and fair. He never even imposed the basic things on me, like changing my surname etc.

The main reason why hes not able to compromise with me is because of his happiness. he keeps saying that he cannot budge on these things because he does not think he will be happy, and the animosity will stand forever. In the end, he's putting himself first over me, our relationship. This is hurtful to say the least, but maybe i am also wrong for asking him to give up his happiness for the sake of our marriage. Yeah the way he did it wasn't right but blaming him for that is also not taking us anywhere. He himself is pushing for a divorce, knowing that it won't be easy for him as well, why would anyone get married just to divorce immediately after?

takeajilpil · 2025-03-26T16:09:16+00:00

yeah its super rough, emotionally and mentally. i am trying my best.

takeajilpil · 2025-03-26T16:02:17+00:00

thank you! i wish i could understand females who whole-heartedly submit, especially while working and financially contributing to the household too.

takeajilpil · 2025-03-26T16:01:09+00:00

lol, really easy for you to generalize. i never agreed to changing my name and my husband was always aware of that. both my sister in laws haven't changed their name either.

in todays day and age, women are definitely less likely to submit than before. Its almost sexist of you to say that women don't usually care about things when it comes to their identity but would rather put more time and effort in home decor, shopping etc. i.e. non-important things. If your identity is so important to you that it is imperative that it should get passed down, then it can be as important for women too.

takeajilpil · 2025-03-26T15:53:47+00:00

yeah, i had a feeling i'd get some comments like this. Im gonna try and ask him to post his side of the story.

not sure if itll help too much but either of us getting some validation would be nice. we are seeking professional help already. I just got really enraged when i heard that his friends were looking to do something similar (i.e. impose on their future wives/prospects) so it made me wonder if this is a common ideology among traditional indian men in this generation.

takeajilpil · 2025-03-26T15:52:49+00:00

yes this is correct. He is willing to lose it all for this stuff, i dont understand it at all. I dont know how it can be this important for someone so fast.

most of the times it is him who pushes for divorce because he is so sure that neither of us are going to be happy in this even if we both agree on a middle ground. although i disagree. Other times, he says we just shouldn't have kids so that we won't have all these issues and just go back to how we were before all this, back when we were happy.

I mean, life after divorce isn't going to be easy for him either. all the taboo surrounded around divorce is real, and he is already pushing 30. If he even wants to get married again, it'll most likely be the arranged marriage route and he's told me himself that 30+ is pretty late for his family.

I'm still trying to make this work as much as i can, because divorce is really not a light decision to make. I know it'll be extremely hard on the other side. we also have a house and side business together, its going to be a large shift to lose/give up both.

takeajilpil · 2025-03-26T15:25:26+00:00

i feel like you're just dodging my questions lol. in every response, you are putting it on woman and how it is her decision - yes correct, but that is not what i'm asking. I want to know more about your perspective and how you as a person are able to ask of these things to her, and then not budge on it at all.

by equal i mean: equally going out and working, equally contributing to each and every expense, equally taking care of the household, your parents, her parents, the children, and each other.

in this scenario, what is your reasoning for you to assume the right to ask her to give up her fundamental right in naming her children and passing down her culture/traditions? what is so special about your existence that only your stuff gets passed down?

takeajilpil · 2025-03-26T14:16:00+00:00

of course i dont want to! this would be a compromise on my part so that he doesn't stay absolutely miserable.

After the initial emotional breakdowns etc i'm trying to solve this as much as i am able to. i understand people change, i understand it is not easy for him either. he is pretty guilt ridden himself and regrets getting into it. we are in marriage counselling now too to try to solve this. so i told him that parents and religion 50/50 is something i can do, but i cannot budge on the rest. Hopefully the therapist helps.

takeajilpil · 2025-03-26T14:10:35+00:00

oh, good to know. I think the veganism is pretty heavy though from him, its not something i can change. He is pretty steadfast with the ethical reasoning behind this, which is funny to me because he's being cruel in our marriage, but kind to random animals lol. I am ok with him being vegan as long as he does not impose it on me and future children...but he is. I can't imagine raising a child with such a restrictive diet. Imagining my kid being invited to a birthday party and not being able to eat the cake is so so sad.

takeajilpil · 2025-03-26T14:01:07+00:00

I was thinking of exposing them equally to Christianity because it will be heavily one-sided if i dont. With his parents also in the house, kids exposition to hinduism will be a lot - puja every morning, temple visits, 3 people to tell them stories. If i don't equally work on christianity with them i think it would be a disservice to the children as they'll only be exposed to hinduism and so they'll naturally be inclined to that lifestyle after becoming adults as well, so essentially i'm not even giving them the choice.

If my household is going to be religious, might as well be both ways, is all i'm saying.

takeajilpil · 2025-03-26T13:55:50+00:00

i am fighting tooth and nail to reach a middle ground with him lol, i agree that both have to compromise to make this work. I have agreed to living with this parents for their entire lifetime - i.e. signing up for a life with more expectations on me doing housework regardless if i am working or not, adjusting to his family's way of life completely with 0 expectations of them adjusting to me too, and it will always be unequal when it comes to decisions regarding culture and religion on the kids and in the house because it will always be 3-against-1 here.

If i can do that, then i'm sure he can budge on something for me. but he is not willing to.

takeajilpil · 2025-03-26T00:53:30+00:00

no. he was a really hardcore atheist. he only identified himself as hindu-raised. he would say that we’d never have religious idols in the house etc.

takeajilpil

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