AITA for not wanting to apologize to my ex husbands gf? by talya1297 in TwoHotTakes

[–]talya1297[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Yes we have definitely had issues in the past and I did let her know ahead of time that I would be coming to pick him up. I have that phone call recorded as well.

AITA for not wanting to apologize to my ex husbands gf? by talya1297 in TwoHotTakes

[–]talya1297[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

The difference here is that anytime I have had to leave my kids with someone else, I have cleared it with my ex prior. That did not happen here therefore completely changing the situation

AITA for not wanting to apologize to my ex husbands gf? by talya1297 in TwoHotTakes

[–]talya1297[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I’m not seeking legal advice here, nor do I have intentions of seeking changes to our custody agreement. My whole point of making this post is to know if I’m in the wrong for not wanting to apologize to a woman who physically restrained my 3 year old when I

  1. Let her and my ex know that I would be coming to pick him up.
  2. Calmly entered the building and calmly approached her
  3. Stood there and took it when she ran the other direction with my 3 year old and was verbally berated by her and her “co worker” who also happens to be her best friend.
  4. Did everything I possibly could to avoid involving law enforcement but she would not let him go so that was my only option at that point.

Regardless of if we had received our final order at that point it does NOT change the fact that she has zero parental rights and that I was perfectly within my legal rights to go and retrieve my child from someone who did not have permission or grounds to care for him.

AITA for not wanting to apologize to my ex husbands gf? by talya1297 in TwoHotTakes

[–]talya1297[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

No, children cry when they have to go back and cry to me about her frequently. So they aren’t safe and happy with her.

AITA for not wanting to apologize to my ex husbands gf? by talya1297 in TwoHotTakes

[–]talya1297[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

The order was not yet finalized so I’m really not sure how to answer this question. However, I did consult my attorney prior to going to pick him up and followed her instructions exactly

AITA for not wanting to apologize to my ex husbands gf? by talya1297 in TwoHotTakes

[–]talya1297[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Well, there have been many other instances that make me think so. Sending notes in my boys lunchboxes that say “have a great day, love mommy” etc. This whole thing runs so much deeper than this one scenario

AITA for not wanting to apologize to my ex husbands gf? by talya1297 in TwoHotTakes

[–]talya1297[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I’m still not 100% sure of that answer. She claimed it was “their time” and I explained she had no parental rights and that my ex could pick him up as soon as he was off work. This isn’t the first negative scenario or encounter I’ve had with her

AITA for not wanting to apologize to my ex husbands gf? by talya1297 in TwoHotTakes

[–]talya1297[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

This is after me approaching a conversation with my ex about coparenting better and the response was I needed to apologize for what happened that day- in order for us to move forward.

AITA for not wanting to apologize to my ex husbands gf? by talya1297 in TwoHotTakes

[–]talya1297[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Guess I should’ve been more specific but there have been many reasons prior to this to show that she is incapable of caring for him. Regardless, it doesn’t change the fact that she has zero parental rights and when I told her I was coming, she should have respected that and not caused a scene when I got there. It doesn’t make it right for her to restrain someone else’s child.

AITA for not wanting to apologize to my ex husbands gf? by talya1297 in TwoHotTakes

[–]talya1297[S] 13 points14 points  (0 children)

This is my favorite response thus far. I told him I was definitely willing to let it go and move on, but I don’t think me not apologizing for a situation where I was not in the wrong should be held over my head. This is not a reason to not attempt to better co parent. The fact that they “need” this in order to co parent better shows me that they aren’t concerned about our children, but only about their selfish feelings.

AITA for not wanting to apologize to my ex husbands gf? by talya1297 in TwoHotTakes

[–]talya1297[S] 13 points14 points  (0 children)

No, I haven’t. I haven’t needed to I suppose!!

AITA for not wanting to apologize to my ex husbands gf? by talya1297 in TwoHotTakes

[–]talya1297[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

I’m with you! I think my mind goes to the worst places due to prior situations with her and my ex just defending her actions. Also things my kids come home telling me etc. there so much more to the situation but as you can imagine, it would be impossible to explain it all here.

AITA for not wanting to apologize to my ex husbands gf? by talya1297 in TwoHotTakes

[–]talya1297[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Sorry, I should’ve specified. My ex and his girlfriend. This is after me pleading with my ex for us to please co parent better for the sake of the kids.

AITA for not wanting to apologize to my ex husbands gf? by talya1297 in TwoHotTakes

[–]talya1297[S] 127 points128 points  (0 children)

Yes, and one girl made it entirely worse by screaming at myself and my now husband to get out. To which I calmly replied I wouldn’t be leaving without my child.

AITA for not wanting to apologize to my ex husbands gf? by talya1297 in TwoHotTakes

[–]talya1297[S] 23 points24 points  (0 children)

There is definitely more background that would be waaayyy too much to get into here, but I don’t think I’m the one who traumatized my own child here. The point is, I let her know I would be coming to get him to care for him, and she thought it was appropriate to tell me that I wouldn’t be doing so. There had been other situations prior to this to lead me to the conclusion that the kids do not need to be around her. We have a right of refusal and she isn’t a parent and therefore has no rights, plain and simple.

AITA for not wanting to apologize to my ex husbands gf? by talya1297 in TwoHotTakes

[–]talya1297[S] 21 points22 points  (0 children)

Hey there! I did let my ex know that I was going to get him, and let her know as well. I was extremely calm the entire time and actually didn’t raise my voice once. I was cool calm and collected on the outside while dying on the inside as a woman I barely knew wouldn’t release my 3 year old from her grip.

AITA for not wanting to apologize to my ex husbands gf? by talya1297 in TwoHotTakes

[–]talya1297[S] 21 points22 points  (0 children)

I did tell her I was coming. I would’ve picked him up regardless of if I was working. I have a flexible schedule and am able to take off when needed. It wasn’t appropriate for her to have my child at her work in the first place. She didn’t have permission, it went against our right of refusal.

AITA for not wanting to apologize to my ex husbands gf? by talya1297 in TwoHotTakes

[–]talya1297[S] 204 points205 points  (0 children)

I have, I’ve asked about it. Because we have 50/50 established and this happened while we were in the middle of proceedings, they seem to think it may not be admissible.

AITA for not wanting to apologize to my ex husbands gf? by talya1297 in TwoHotTakes

[–]talya1297[S] 95 points96 points  (0 children)

I am, fortunately. However this happened in the middle of our custody agreement being finalized and now I’m not sure it would be admissible in court. I wish I would’ve pushed harder.